I toss my solitude down,
let it mingle with my insomniac
let it mingle with my rubble,

There is something
submerged
beneath my --
human, make me
the red of desert earth
until I crumble into
cactus spines and skeletons,
I wasn't meant
to stay here for so long

There is a catch
swimming with my organs,
it pulls when I breathe
through it, I never wanted
to see what
falling
would be like
until I saw the holes
they drilled into your spine

Your leather-spun
heart, it aches
like a sunrise,
I knew a wanting
in your chest
that stayed
hungry,
you were always
hungry
for something
I don't think you ever found,

Because there is a sand
beneath your fingernails
that doesn't rub away,
I have a dust storm
waiting in my belly,
there is a lust there
that is deeper
than the Marianas trench,

And someday, God will loop
his fingers through yours,
and he will whisper in your ear:
"Come. I can tell you
what they died for."

heartache is
a penny, leaving
greenish glows
in the palm of my hand,
its slick caress a kiss
against the inside
of my pocket.

its weight yearns
like a kindergartener
whose voice
wasn't heard,
who knows
everything there is to know
about outer space,
something she can feel
wrinkling, biting a hole
through her chest.

and this tadpole heart,
it struggles and flails,
gulping to life
between words
it never knew
how to say.

silently,
somehow,
this monster
in my mind
falls gently asleep
with the tide.

With the wink of an eye and a flick of your flame, another Marlboro finds its way from your pocket to my lips. Breathing and burning, smokesighs of relief--

I am too far gone to remember your name.

     But the warmth fills and soothes with every intake of breath. Have another shot--or two...from who? Well now I am ready to take a shot at you, Cute Boy--also known as Law Student From Argentina--and although a small something-someone begins to question me, voices just drown in the buzz towards the back of my mind...where everything sinks. sinks. is siiinnnnking. I feel the full force and am loving the fall. So instead of worrying myself over the (now incoherent) blare of your accented voice spilling questions to my ear...
                                                 (Flash another stupid smile, giggle just
                                                   a little louder.
                                                   It's too late now for the answers to matter.)
I let my head turn over 'til our noses touch.
I brush too close,
you're warm and dark...
And I've already
   given
           up.

"I admire you."
--your words that stick out. The last I remember of--oh, hey now...
(a darkly pleased smile currrrls upon my face):

     Let your hands hold me steady at the small of my back while I lean, a little sloppy, into fresh new lips and learn your strange kiss. Somewhere along the way my fingers comb through your hair...it's almost automatic, the way I move; and I feel the same overwhelming loss of control. The only difference is that I don't know you. Nevertheless, in the next few breaths your lips look to my neck in a soft caress...but for only a moment.

     Because perhaps that's when my sister at last pulls me away; oh, she takes such good care of me. I almost forgot just how much I have missed her...ah.
only
in
passing. because--

     For tonight, my dear, I am far more concerned with guiding my tongue back to yours. (So I do.) And darling, that lovely bottom lip--you just might find it caught in my ravenous bite. (Gentle, now.) These teeth will make you mine. Oh, now if only we were somewhere else, I'd let you--

twenty-nine?
oh.
"eighteen? wow," (and that was a lie...)

I guess, I guess this
should feel wrong?
but still
my smile remains for a while...

     and so do you.

You'll never understand why I love you
The broken pieces of your heart fight to breathe
So hard that they can't take the time to stop and think
To understand all the amazing parts of you
The way you listen with every ounce of your soul,
and the way you laugh like the sound of a melody
Your strength amazes me as you prevail over obstacle after obstacle

Yet you continue to wonder why
You question how someone could find you so amazing
When you do not see the light from within yourself
But I wish that you would because it shines so bright

I've never met another soul like mine
Until now, i've met you
Broken, beat, shattered and torn apart
You still would stand out in a crowd
Though you've pieced yourself together
Your jagged thoughts and jagged words jar me

Words are not enough to describe it
Just like any other emotion
But I love you because you're strong,
Caring sensitive and understanding
The way that you laugh, and make me live up to myself
I love you  because you're the best person i've ever met
genuine in heart and in soul
The lessons you've taught me about love and regret

I love you because you're my best friend
These words seem so shallow, they lack meaning and depth
A picture paints a thousand words so here it is
A picture that hasn't quite been taken yet

Two people laying side by side on a bed
Laptops placed strategically playing music
They glance at their screens, then glance at eachother
Realizing they've been in silence they laugh
They hadn't even noticed
The comfort surrounds them as they fall into fits of laughter
About things that wouldn't matter to anyone else
The picture is taken then
As they laugh with eachother about nothing at all
It's amazing the meaning behind something so small

I know you'll ask the question again
I hope that answers your question

hush hush, sweet darling.
the neighbors could hear you tremble.
if only you'd cover your mouth with mine,
you might stay out of trouble.
grasp hands tight and
don't you dare let go,
and i'll make you beg for more.