a poem
see me
somebody, anybody
take these thoughts out my head
please
i have no one left
i plead.

sometimes the stars look like exit wounds in the sky.
bullets,
punctured through the abyss of darkness.
they were pure, innocent souls; slashed down.
their inner light bleeds through;
trickles out in rays through the sea of tar,
until the entire night is freckled by their memory.
their silence.

we call it beauty,
but it is really grief gracefully endured;
stitched into the heavens so we may never forget.

no one likes me
not a single soul
minus that creep at the bus stop
leering.
no one wants me
no one at all

can't tell
really,
if it was,
the wound is written
i will stop dragging his name into your mouth
i'm sorry
to salt your scars
i don't know how to stop
his name from escaping
like a swear word in front of a child
oh god
i hope it wasn't about me
i need someone to be real
i need someone to like me
even if they don't know me

if looks could ****
     i'd be slaughtering the masses
and if these walls could talk
     they'd probably never stop laughing
but if that ***** of a mattress should crack
and leak the secrets of mine that she keeps in her chest-
like tightly bound metallic coils-
     so help me lillith

i'll burn this house to the ground

     i'd rather see all that i've built turn into ashes
than to hear her voice rehasing all the whispers i'm slinging whilst fast asleep
     or how i cry in bed for weeks
     or the way i flinch when the sun crosses my face
like a shadow i can't name

     i'm a mess
a natural disaster with whirlwind hair and a lightning strike pulse
     in a second-hand dress that doesn't fit right
          i'm fine
     i'll survive

but should you be the boy i find
     and i bring you home tonight
just know that i'm better than alright
          know how very much i feel alive
regardless of the subconscious soliloquies you unleash in your half-silence
     divulging secrets whilst you slumber

          i wake like the waves lapping at a fallen empire's shoreline
     and quest to test your lyrical limitations and the possible personification of your breath
     and your chest
          heaving like the sea himself

gone and deleted his account.
abandoned me
yet again
what about me
makes me so un-lovable?
because boys don't want this
only the ***** men do.