C’mon
Why do I have to suffer
Why don’t I get a vice
Why don’t I get to stumble
Why won’t you let me fall
Why can’t I show weakness
Why can’t I indulge
Why can’t I break a rule or two
Why can’t I get into some trouble
Why can’t I be bad
Just let me do something bad
Let me break the rules
Just do something for fun
Something that feels good
Because right now everything hurts
And it would seem everyone else
They all get to be weak for a bit
Everyone else can stumble
Oh, but not me
No, not the perfect one
She wouldn’t do that
No, never
She doesn’t have desires
She doesn’t lust
She doesn’t crave escape
She doesn’t want to have fun
She doesn’t want to be happy
BECAUSE YOU
YOU TAUGHT ME
TO FOLLOW RULES
But now I’m suffocating
The weight on my back is heavy
I’m getting weak
But that can’t happen
No, she’s perfect
She doesn’t get weak
She always does right
She’s always virtuous
She never would do that
Haha
But you know what?
I’m ******* human, dear ones
I need people around me
I cannot survive alone
I’d like to have ***
Yeah, I’ve done it alone
I would love to get high
Yes, I would actually like a drink
In fact, I’d like to be very drunk
I connect with that dark music
The kind that screams about torment
I’ve sliced my own skin
I’ve thought about dying
Yeah... at my own hand
Right... but I can’t, can I?
Can’t indulge, can’t go dark
Because you’ve trained me
You’ve programmed me
There is always a fear response
You are responsible
You are why I’m like this
You are why I don’t have friends
You are why I’m not like them
You are why I can’t enjoy anything
I’m so ******* done with this
Being “strong”
Whatever the hell that means
I just wanna be normal
I’m done.
I’m so ******* done.
I’m not perfect
Stop making me out to be
You just make me want
To watch myself
Fall from grace
watch me fall