I am a shell
Of nothingness
I am empty

you’re falling
Into an abyss
I’m the void

Can’t breathe
The claws are digging
My back, my lungs, again

There is no end
To the wind on my back
pushing, pulling
Gravity is taking me

The claws are pulling me down
Sinking, I am sinking
There is no landing, no surroundings

I look for something to grab
It’s pitch black
all I see
Is nothing

A hand, illuminated, reaches out
too scared to grab it
It keeps reaching for me, begging

Please grab it
Please

I reach out for the hand
grab it
It pulls

Out I come from the darkness
Into a blinding light
I’m awake

The claws leave their mark, forever
Memories of nothing
Hold my hand, protect me

the claws have a way of coming back
when they're least expected
when they come back
hold my hand

I find my comfort on two beds
Yours.
Mine.

Warm and cozy I wrap myself
Around you

Darkness surrounds me
Fills me with its nothingness

Hold me tighter
Stay with me

Enveloped by black clouds
My screams thunder; my tears rain

Laughing. Your laugh
Makes me think of hot chocolate

Surrounding by the abyss
My life is nothing, empty, mess

Scratch my back where it itches
You scratch mine; I scratch yours

CLAWS DIG INTO MY BACK
THEY HAVE MY LUNGS I CAN’T BREATHE

Two little mugs
Tea for her and coffee for him

MORNING DOESN’T EXIST
EVERYTHING IS NIGHT

Tell me I’m your favorite star
Watch the sunset with me

fire. it is fire. burns.
it burns.

Hold my hand
Intertwined fingers

*I AM NOTHING. THERE’S NO SPACE
HERE. I AM A BLACK HOLE. WATCH ME DESTROY

Waves are crashing against the shore
on the surface of a mug.
They start off dark,
slowly turning lighter
as sea foam emerges.

A hand reaches for the handle
to take a sip from the green ocean.
The opposite hand curls itself around the mug
like Poseidon holding the sea.
The ceramic is as smooth as water
gently flowing from a tap.

A river starting high from the mountaintops
makes it's way from the narrow top to its wide, new,
salty embrace.
A gulf is an artist mixing their blue paint
trying to get the perfect shade and balance.
A gulf is an artist dipping their used paint brush in
clean water and watching the colors swirl.

A mug is simply glazed ceramic
formed into a shape that humans use
to drink beverages.
Every mug is different from their shapes
to their colors.
Every body of water is different from the rest.

do not date a girl
who writes.
she will internalize
everything,
carve poems
into your eyelashes
instead of
kissing them,

she will analyze you,
calculate age
from the rings
your coffee cup
leaves
instead of refilling it.

she will memorize
the way your
lips curl around steam,
but not that you
take it
two sugars,
no cream.

she will read your
palm instead of
holding it
against her chest.

she will not
blink
when you leave,
because she is
already
romanticizing it.

I imagine us kissing more than 30 times a day.
I imagine you in my bed
and me in yours....
if that's okay.
Without  the thought of you
my life would be gray.
(Not to romanticize death like every other writer but...)
I'd rather be dead.

A day does not go past when I don't think about you.
If days equaled the amount of times I thought about you
It would be around 2,000 days.
I don't know if I feel lost
or like a fish out of water.
I can't breathe.
You were the air in my lungs.
Where are you?