he looked at me
“friends… with benefits?”
i turned to him
“to be friends with benefits we’d have to be friends first
   other wise we’re just strangers ******* each other.”

                      [e.m.]

You know what is heart wrenchingly terrible?
Not the fact we don’t talk anymore
[Though I’ve gotten quite used to the silence]
Not the fact that your backseat will no longer look forward to my visits
[There’s nothing like skin against skin and fog against windows]
Not the fact that my sheets have slowly lost your scent
[I screamed at my mother for washing my sheets the Tuesday after you decided to leave]
Although all of those thoughts are horrible
The worst is
I’m forgetting the color of your eyes

I was singing along to the radio
It was your favorite song
I was leaning out the open window of your black jeep
My hair was whipping through the warm August breeze
I heard your laugh
and glanced back
And there you were
One arm resting out your open window
The other on the wheel
Eyes gleaming at me
In that sideways glance that always made my heart jump
I laughed along and wished
This moment
This song
That sideways glance
Would never end

the first time he held my hand he sent through my veins the sort of heat only young volcanoes experience

the first time he said my name he said it with the sort of uncertainty that made it clear we would be one hell of a love story

I wonder if you’ve told your mother
[down on your knees screaming about]
how your fingers found their way back to the path of my spine
[that had long been forgotten]
how I screamed with joy and how
you pulled me toward you when
I wasn’t looking and
our lips met
like old friends
pushing and pulling like
the waves
crashing into each other against
our legs struggling to keep our balance against
nature and this type of bliss

[we fell back into our pattern of love and still left too far in the bliss to ask now what].