anger is a weight
no one notices you've gained
until your knees buckle under it all
and you can't see straight
I'm so ******* jaded
and tired of being disappointed
I'm gonna crackle and burn soon,
so before you take a chance on me
read the ******* room...
don't give me too much too soon
but don't leave me thirsty for more
I won't wait at any man's door
when they're behind giant walls...
and to lose seeds of hurt in me planted,
I'd need the magnitudes of an earthquake
I want to lose the layers I can't shake
I don't want the illusion of trust
on a foundation that's fake
so rise up to my level and meet me
because I won't step down
to make any man more comfortable than me
if you have an issue with the space I take up
than you can ******* leave

you're like a warm blanket
that just came out of the dryer
don't cool down any time soon
I want to hold on a little longer
cause I miss you when you're not around
and I hate knowing that feeling is foreign to you
you deserve to know
all the good things you bring and do

I blame it on my traits, my conditions
but it's really got me wishing
I didn't gotta deal with it all some days
plenty of people with good talent & good taste
getting washed up, burnt out, & put to waste
depression that stay for days
always feeling like I'm running out of time
and taking up too much space
in the land of the free
land of me, me, me
everyone's hearing
but no one's really listening
the land
of demanding
consideration
from those who consider no one
land of the free, but only for some
doesn't feel like one
self aware sinkholes
getting angry from internet trolls
easy to spark passion in me
easy for me to **** it up & do something embarrassing
I'm feeling burnt out
pushing through, that's what it's all about
resilience is a compliment only when I'm in the thick of it
when I catch my breath, I don't wanna hear it
gimme some deeper validation
I've been riding off of fumes of my passion
I wanna feel a little less intense
but I blame it on my traits, my conditions  
they make things such a mess
but
shifting the way I see it
always makes it easier to live with
I'm not a mess from another perspective
I think I'm different
just like you

left my baggage at the door
but blocked my only exit
when someone knows their importance in your life
they know the impact they'll make if they leave it
and who wants to give anyone that power?
I'm always telling myself "not me",
but that's me lying
because I've got loving meant for giving
but I'm not into forgiving
especially myself
I'm living in poverty with incredible wealth
I've got so many in my corner I don't feel deserving
connections more than worthy of preserving
but sometimes I fall off, the queen of isolating
and lately I'm just ******* stressing
but I know I gotta be learning something
cause lessons don't come without some scabbing
some lessons even require scarring
that's why growing is so jarring
turning into a phoenix
only after running into a burning building
self growth comes only if you're willing

Uninspired,
while feeling like I've got something to say
Which is usually when I say what I gotta,
in the entirely the wrong way
Because it pours out of me in any way it can,
it doesn't matter how much time passes
or how long I anxiously ran
It's so much more than a feeling,
and vulnerability was never really my thing,
despite the heart I carry on my sleeve...
It's a mirage I keep,
I wish I could show you the real thing
I can't seem to let you in just yet...
but I wanna see what's up your sleeve,
I don't want you to leave

I've got a lot more to say
about you lately
instead of angry ****
to say about him
you've got me forgetting about the bad ****
got me tapping to a different rhythm
And I'm enjoying learning the beat
you got comfortable
in my brain
and took a seat
And maybe
you're used to people not caring
about the things you have to say
but I like to know what's on your mind
and I know you like to know what's on mine
I'm not everyone's cup of tea
but you say
you like what you're sipping
and I believe you  
You've shown
me a few different sides of your coins
and easily a few
of my new favorite songs
it isn't easy to capture my attention
and hold on
but here it is your hands
I hope you're delicate

I may be predictable,
but at least I'm consistent.