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5d · 18
Used Up Romance
Sometimes I feel
like I used up all my romance on you
was so naive, so wild for you
always ready to drop everything and come running
whenever you asked
but you never asked
I was already there begging
wanting all of you and more
moving so fast I couldn't catch sight of the lagging
blurred into the background like everything else
it's been over a decade since our skins touched the other's
my cells lost memory a long time ago
but my muscle memory is like a stain
I may have loved others since you
but I've never loved anyone the same
and if I'm being honest
I couldn't love you again
so you remain in the past
and that's where we can always dance
Mar 2 · 90
Untitled
Emma Katka Mar 2
Whispering my secrets into the trees
that grow through the leaves
To later break off and prepare for new life
Feb 13 · 35
Blanket Forts
Emma Katka Feb 13
I want to unravel my brain’s threads
that collectively weigh me down like lead
Turn the strings into blankets,
and make a fort in my living room to shelter inside of.
Every day rituals with intention to gift me peace,
are slowly becoming chores to avoid guilt and grief.
I thought life would be so different.
I never thought it would be this hard;
and while b0mbs fall on children,
I’m feeling sorry for myself and my deck of cards.
I'm daydreaming in dystopia.
Feb 8 · 39
Lick
Emma Katka Feb 8
When I think of memories
depicting feelings of my personal freedom
there’s always a cool breeze in my hair
and when the day is over
there’s a musty scent in my hair
from soaking in every step I took
and every dance I twirled under the prairie sky
I’m always chasing that feeling
my lungs opening up into wings
catching my breath so my freedom sings
but reality soaks through all good things
and capitalism makes us all prisoners
a country divided keeps raising up the controllers
and we continue on in our division
petty crimes making up mass incarceration
dangerous men walking free and calling it justice
I'm tired of this
I wanna believe in good intentions
I wanna believe in honest testimony
tears covering up lies and misery loving company
we keep running in different directions competing in the same race
telling those born without boots to pull them up by their straps
while they're licking the boots of the man
Feb 1 · 42
Untitled
Emma Katka Feb 1
Racing as fast as I can
to a finish line I'll never cross
always feeling like I gotta let people know
about every win and every loss
Main character syndrome that plagues me
an ego that has broken others
while completely shattering me
Putting my foot in my mouth
out of pride or jealousy
and when I see too much of my shadow
I'm right back to running
And while strong is a way I'm often perceived
so much of my actions feel cowardly
And
I'm not proud, I want to be
But
I'm learning
Growing, healing
Nov 2023 · 62
Carpool
Emma Katka Nov 2023
Last vehicle in the carpool
and I'm in the back seat
thousands of people deep
for front seats to the next season of life
all waiting to move out and on
not even sure where we are going
just gotta keep moving...
and I may not be not religious
but I'm always praying
perhaps not to anything godly
but I'd like to think
there's something listening
Oct 2023 · 61
Untitled
Emma Katka Oct 2023
My worries hold a *****
and have been digging into my bones,
settling in and getting cozy,
as if returning home.
I'd like to say I feel the same,
but I'm far from comfort here;
I'd like to say I've got an exit,
but I can't find any that are near.
There's far to many steps to take,
and I've got anchors in my chest;
I'll run out of air before I'm able
to not feel like such a mess.
Sep 2023 · 88
Intruder
Emma Katka Sep 2023
Disturbing my peace
I fought so hard to achieve
Reality doesn't slow down for anything
I'm walking through town with a fog surrounding me
noise proof headphones connected only to my anger and pain
trying to figure out how to move through life the same
It isn't reasonable to think I could
because if I could, I ******* would...
Worlds flip upside down every day
the kind of **** you hear about on tv
is happening down the street
And slowing down for processing isn't happening
keep it up and keep grinding
Reality doesn't slow down for anything
Aug 2023 · 67
Untitled
Emma Katka Aug 2023
Humidity on me
feeling like condensation forming
my skin is the plastic shell
and there's so much I'm bottling
Everything I can't speak on freely
tired of being only worthy of your lusting
and never your loving
you tell me your deepest secrets
but let's keep things casual
I wanna know what you're thinking about me
but it's always someone else, something
And that's okay, I get it
I'm not easing to give loving to
time took me down a valley
and I'm not sure if I ever ended up exiting
just sat on the ledge kicking my feet
before I grabbed your skateboard
and dropped back in willingly
I wanna float back up
but I forgot how much crawling it took to get to the edge
my fingernails are always busted
so it's hard to feel my scratching
but I hope you at least know I'm there
inbetween the creases of your brain's waves
kicking my feet on the surface
Aug 2023 · 63
Bare
Emma Katka Aug 2023
Celebrate the bare minimum
still always end up begging
Always playing catch up
whether it's sleep or money
Crosses don't resemble sanctuary
not every space is safe for me
And when sadness and anger
register in my brain just the same
I don't feel safe anywhere I go
I've got both on speed dial
and I'm always pocket dialing
I wanna feel the sky screaming back at me
throwing my head back and belting
swallowing clouds whole from breathing
You were talking and I wasn't listening
I'm in my own head again, dreaming
of dimly lit streets, sticky skin, slowly pedaling
biking towards something,
but mostly wandering, wondering.
Jul 2023 · 80
Untitled
Emma Katka Jul 2023
Make sure you've made the time
Get enough sleep and exercise  
Swallow all that sadness
bring yourself to the surface and start to move
You've done so much already,
but you've got a lot more to prove
Make sure you're making enough money
you look great in shades resembling exploiting
Fit in, get along, don't rock the boat
the water is frozen, so don't forget your coat
but make sure it flatters your figure
I don't know how to swim
but somehow I'm still here wading
while others are nearly drowning
sadness and anger register in my brain just the same
I can't keep acting like it's not driving me insane
I just need more time
Jul 2023 · 71
Veil
Emma Katka Jul 2023
I'm the girl you call at midnight
never the girl you call in the afternoon
I'm the girl you can't stop thinking about
but ignore me when I'm in the same room
I'm better as a day dream
but I wanna be someone's reality
I'm so tired of isolating
I wanna have fun and be silly
I'm tired of carrying this armor
that I'm not even ******* wearing
it's a dead weight like my past toxic lovers
I'm wide open and uncovered
it's up to you to pull back the veil
I've burned mine
Jul 2023 · 191
Untitled
Emma Katka Jul 2023
You've got me
on a roller coaster of emotions
And such is life
but
I wanna feel my feet on ground
Jul 2023 · 57
Untitled
Emma Katka Jul 2023
I want to factory reset my heart
I gotta find the hidden button
All I need is a safety pin
and no fear to commit to it
But that's easier said than done, isn't it?
Because being vulnerable is alarming
and standing strong in it is daunting
I'm being wound up like a mechanical toy
and expecting to provide new tricks
You're sight seeing in my body cavity
and expecting it to be a little less scary
I come with some darkness baby
I should have warned you, but you didn't warn me
And isn't that a little terrifying?
Going in blind with someone you think is interesting
not knowing the history of their hauntings
mean while I'm just hoping
that you don't find my ghosts before I find yours
I wanna find out the strength of my possessor
before they take over
Because I go zero to a hundred in less time than most
My brain gets taken over and I'm only the host
While you're still window shopping women
and I'm still window shopping men
Until the possessor loses grip
and I start to feel better again
I wanna find that button
Jul 2023 · 238
Untitled
Emma Katka Jul 2023
I want to factory reset my heart
I gotta find the hidden button
all I need is a safety pin
and no fear to commit to it
Jun 2023 · 59
DOORS
Emma Katka Jun 2023
You're drawing with sharpies all over your arms
cause you ran out of paper
I'm sitting in the passenger seat
my seatbelt making my necklace press into my sternum
listening to you screaming
about something that holds no meaning
but you think if you're loud enough
maybe it'd start to give you clarity
I can't remember the details of all the fights
I just remember the never ending nights
the scribbles on your walls, the overhead lights  
a portrait of Bob Ross ripping from its corners
covering the hole you punched through your closet door
the bathroom with college boy's hair all over the floor
Happy accidents?
I didn't know back then
how much you'd **** up my head
when we finally parted ways
you practically wished me dead
and that's still got me angry
that's still got me defensively thinking
It's so easy to blame you for everything
but I'm here still wanting to show you things
and it's a gut punch like I've never felt
knowing the cards I was dealt
and that I kept playing
all that I kept allowing
But shame is the killer of everything that is good
I can't blame myself for not doing what I should
there's been enough time that's passed now
I know it now better than I ever could
that you were a chapter
I never should have entered
but I'll take the lessons with me
as I walk through the hallways of former miseries
whenever something is triggering
I wanna open new doors
or leave this building completely
but my heart is the foundation under all the creaking
I wanna feel like I'm being listened to when I'm speaking
but men keep putting me in these boxes
and there's no doors for me to open freely
so I carve out my own window and run wildly
I don't have time for late night confessions
that you won't remember in the morning
I want the sun shining when we meet
so I can be under the moon dancing
maybe you'll join me
Until then, I'll continue my wandering
and my exiting
Jun 2023 · 66
Nothing
Emma Katka Jun 2023
I'm not an aura to bask in
I'm not a butterfly in a cage
I'm not meant to be on a pedestal
I'm meant to be on a stage

I'm not a light in your darkness
I've just got light shining on me
I'm not an adrenaline rush to chase
just because you find me exciting

Romanticizing is isolating
and I don't find it flattering
If you put me in a box
I'm always going to be exiting

And I won't be held accountable
for your inability to truly see
that I'm not an experience
to live up to your day dreams

You don't know me
you know what I let you see
and then you fill in the blanks
and expect me to start performing

I wish you didn't write in ink
because I can't erase what you think
no matter what I correct
there's still residue
of what you thought I owed you

When it's nothing
Jun 2023 · 79
I Need The Rain
Emma Katka Jun 2023
It finally started raining
the same day we called it quits
too many days of distance
We needed a shift that wasn't in my gears
I can't keep screaming words into closed ears
you're the rubber and I'm glue; nothing sticks to you
But maybe part of me was rubber too
because I never could love as much as you
But I could never show it a little as you do
Words only hold substance if action shines with them
and senses only gain strength with wisdom
So I'll do my best to consider this a gift
most lessons are
I don't need a shooting star
I need the rain
Jun 2023 · 82
Blame Game
Emma Katka Jun 2023
How can anyone love you
if you don't love yourself?
That's the **** they say
when someone's self hatred is getting in the way
of everyone else having a good time
I'm sorry I'm feeling so down
I wanna love myself more
but I don't think I gotta do that first to be deserving
so I stopped showing, I stopped going
and now I'm a little too used to isolating
I'm trying to find small steps towards changing
it's marathon not a race
but I still feel like all I can do is sprint
if it isn't happening over night, I'm not in it
and that's a cop out from reality
good things take time, but I'm hungry
I want to taste the change instantly
just blame it on my ADHD
Jun 2023 · 53
Time
Emma Katka Jun 2023
Time
I always want more time
I can't get any more time
I want to crush it up and snort a line
of purely time
time that's all mine
I want to feel free and unhinged
and
I love my hair after a day of adventure,
it's dusty, it's musty
the smell reminds me of old books
holding something special within their pages
just like I hold within my strands
I don't want to have shaky knees when I stand
I want to run without loosing my breath
I want to run without it hurting my chest
and
I don't want to be treated like a vacation
I'm not your escape from reality
because I ******* live there too
I’m not something to discover
I'm don't have soil to push your flag pole into
Because I’m just as lost as you
and I've got a feeling you think you have a map
Drink another cup of coffee and wake up
This isn't a game you've played before
can't use old tactics to get her
and if it’s gonna be a game
rest assured, I play it better  
I just want more time
time that's mine
I don't have any more to give to you
I don't have any more energy to try
May 2023 · 359
Spring Addiction
Emma Katka May 2023
Our northern winter bled on for so long
the green of spring still feels like a hallucination
I'm addicted to the smell and the nostalgia rushing
I'm willingly taking the next dose
getting eye level with the soil
and snorting it up my nose
Because I want to feel this way forever
I want to feel an eternal spring
but isn't the point of winter
to feel what the ending brings?
Apr 2023 · 86
New Apt
Emma Katka Apr 2023
White walls and grey cupboards
old wood frames and rubber stoppers
I'm in a new state of mind
In a new environment, but it's all mine
I'm ready to start something new
I'm thirsty and need to fill my cup
it's open in every single direction
and I'm only looking up
Cause I'm not ready to start spinning
and finding my footing
only when my face smashes into the ground
I'm just focusing on the walls around me
and learning their sounds
I'm finding my groove
after some pretty big moves
I'm learning my speed
slowly
surely
Apr 2023 · 185
No Play Dates
Emma Katka Apr 2023
Sometimes, I still view relationships in adulthood as if I were a kid. It's important to enjoy playing together, otherwise, we will just argue and not have fun when we try to. So why push it? Better to accept we aren't good at playing together & stay out of each other's business.
Apr 2023 · 51
Untitled
Emma Katka Apr 2023
Butterflies in my stomach coming for my throat
I'll never be afraid of speaking up ever again
Apr 2023 · 84
Melancholy Stoned
Emma Katka Apr 2023
I use melancholy like currency
it's the cost of creating what my mouth can't mutter
and then I'm ready for another hit
back swimming in beautiful, sparkling gutters
and I know I can't claim this feeling,
I just know what it means to me
and I want to feel seen
but I'm still wondering if you even hear me
so give me more melancholy
give me enough of it,
and my creations are practically screaming
if you know how to speak the language of my art
you'd know my heart
and while I haven't figured out a way to translate it
I think some might get it
and perhaps that's enough for me to keep going
I just need another hit
Apr 2023 · 87
light steps
Emma Katka Apr 2023
walking barefoot
in between changes of scenery
ribs that creak like floorboards,
and I wonder if you hear me
I'm sorry if I'm disturbing,
I'm not accustomed to doing the haunting
I want to stay a little longer if you'll let me
before it all starts disappearing
Mar 2023 · 72
Cuffing Season
Emma Katka Mar 2023
Sold my soul for a warm body to lay next to
some call that codependence
I call it no direction
after a season of depression
falling head straight in to the dirt
and into the arms of whoever grabs you first
cuffing season is definitely a thrill
where we're all out for the ****
we want it all to stay the same
we can't accept everything's changed
on the other side of the darkness
why did I think anyone would be there waiting
I'm not the only one who's changing
Feb 2023 · 84
Spring Fever
Emma Katka Feb 2023
Spring fever hit me like a ton of bricks today...
I fell into it like it was meant to be, so I'm okay.
I've been dreaming of a humid summer night...
the kind right before the dark takes the light.
I'm waiting on a beautiful grassy scene...
I don't even mind the allergic reaction on my knees.
I'm in the grass, I'm in the breeze--tension released.
I'm a big fan of daydreaming.
Feb 2023 · 72
shame
Emma Katka Feb 2023
shame is the keeper of the keys
decides what can't be decided for me
I have free will, but shame makes it look unreal
just out of reach, hard to please
because shaming is easier
than showing an ounce of vulnerability
but there's something about a dirt road
that gives me the ability
to turn my lens on something that channels it all
into something deeper that shame can't touch
my art is my strength, even if it's a crutch
my vulnerability flows like an open sea
curls your hair with an air that's salty
you can touch me when I'm there
I've got art flowing through me and the ends of my hair
I want to find a way to keep that state of mind
until then I'll keep chasing the high
Feb 2023 · 80
Untitled
Emma Katka Feb 2023
My dreamland
is never soft or warm
but I find comfort in it still
Dec 2022 · 373
Untitled
Emma Katka Dec 2022
getting mad about making sacrifices
that no one asked you to make
always keeping track of exactly what you give
and never what you take
Dec 2022 · 49
Wind Chill
Emma Katka Dec 2022
headphones hit a little different sometimes
melody striking me right in the ******* spine
I wanna break open every feeling I'm suppressing
tired of keeping my own self guessing
on what's gonna get conjured up next
I'm not saving money, so I won't make bets
I'm spending
so I'd rather take another loss
rewind me, get that dust off me, what's the cost?
I've got light leaks bleeding into my brain
nostalgia like film strips developing in wood stain
I wanna find a new way to dig deep
I wanna find a melancholy that doesn't seep
into the depths of me that end up poisoning
it doesn't belong in my bloodstream
but it enters through my lungs
I breathe it in every time I think
which is constant, and burying
I'm ready to move into a new year
find a new perspective that's a little more clear
get a new grip on reality
that doesn't give me blisters or make me bleed
feel the wind on my face
that doesn't come with a warning
I'm already freezing
Dec 2022 · 59
Untitled
Emma Katka Dec 2022
you know I'm like the moon
I shine in darkness
so I seek it
Nov 2022 · 71
Exit
Emma Katka Nov 2022
Feeling disconnected from my sense of self
struggling with my mental health
the symmetry of the struggle
mirroring itself in all of our faces
all while feeling out of place
not wanting to take up too much space
or waste any more time
because it keeps passing by faster
and my eyes keep fluttering
looking out the window trying to catch a sight
but all I've got are these headlights
tunnel visioning on a destination
that I don't have the directions to
I'd ask, but I don't think I should
hell, I don't even know who would
so I'll keep driving
high beams on empty streets
just waiting for the next exit
Oct 2022 · 140
Untitled
Emma Katka Oct 2022
Do you ever dream so vividly
It feels like a real memory
Oct 2022 · 57
Untitled
Emma Katka Oct 2022
obsessive
compulsive
distracted
explosive
redundant
forgetful
abundant

I feel lost in a lull
that I keeping humming along to
wondering if you ever feel remorseful
but that's like wishing on a star
and expecting it to come true
admirable, but ultimately delusional
I wanna move on gracefully
but I don't think that's how I operate
I'm a little messy with good intentions
not always open to cooperate
with anyone but my own conscience
autumn dives me under the surface of my nostalgia
and I stay underwater, I like the drama
but I can only take so much
before I start to sink in too deep
help me find the surface
before these depths start to speak
Oct 2022 · 70
Leaves
Emma Katka Oct 2022
I've got things to say about the leaves. Every poet does. Every artist. Or maybe the leaves just have things to say. They're letting it all out. Letting it go. Crunch. I wanna strip down my darkness into individual leaves of memories that I can let the wind take away. Crunch. Crutch. There's some memories the wind just never takes away no matter the weather. They're seemingly staying forever. Perpetual states of their imprints exist like a leaf pressing that was preserved in a stone. And all I'm thinking is that I need a rake. And perhaps more strength for all the leaves I need to shake off.
Oct 2022 · 74
Shadow Box
Emma Katka Oct 2022
You assume you know me deeply
from what I post on social media accounts
while I'm behind glass, pins in my sternum,
like a butterfly you decided to mount.
I'm the pretty thing in the corner
that gets dusted off when you're lonely
I'm talked to behind the glass
while you think of new tricks to show me
You want validation and attention
so you put quarters in my ear
you wind me up for a few hours
and then you disappear
I'm so tired of the patterns
I'm tired of the empty plot
You want to wade in my waters
just to freeze over if it gets too hot
You want to tell me about your demons
but you really just want to whine
you want to tell me about your darkness
and how you think it's just as dark as mine
But you know nothing of my darkness
and you know nothing of my light
You don't know what keeps me rested
or what keeps me up at night
You don't ask me what my dreams are,
don't even ask me about the weather
You don't ask me about anything
but tell me you'd like to know me better
You want me to be vulnerable
but there's never a moment where that feels safe
You're a claw machine on a frenzy  
grabbing hands thirsty for my embrace
and you make sure to hit me up late
so there's no evidence to trace
your actions have become so transparent
it's started to make me feel sick
every time I see your messages
I immediately get the ick
I'm so easy to romanticize
when I'm an aura behind a screen
men tell me they love me
but I don't think they know what that means
because I know where I exist
in your little world that I don't fit
you decided a long time ago
I'm too much work, so you quit.
I'm a layaway lover
and a bucket list ****
You have none of my respect
and I wish you luck
Oct 2022 · 92
A story about a house
Emma Katka Oct 2022
The house was white, paint chipping away, of course, with a wrap-around front porch with moss lining the edges. It can be seen from the road distantly... but to get to it is a little complicated... needed to park on a side road about a mile away.... only way to get to it was by hiking 1/2 a mile to a creek where there is a broken "once was" bridge that is broken in half that you have to jump across to cross the creek, and once you cross the creek, around the corner moving right, or west in this case, up the hill.... is where it sat surrounded by trees. It was beautiful approaching the home.... I have nostalgia about the smell of the air and the walk through the grass up the hill to get to it. I also remember my first step on the moss. I can't explain it rationally, but almost immediately upon my foot touching the moss on the porch, anxiety flooded through me, like a sudden panic... you know, as if you've fallen off your bike or bed, or tripped on a rug that was curled slightly from someone else tripping over it before you were there... I brushed it off and considered it to be the adrenaline I seek by exploring these houses and continued through the front door. I entered the kitchen first. There was a mirror on the far wall with a small sink under it. There was a very old razor with a bottle of shaving cream next to it. They were both rusty. I kept walking. I entered the living room. The walls were salmon. The sun shining through the windows and bouncing off of the salmon colored walls and floor and ceiling made horrible lighting in my photographs. I tried for a couple self portraits and wasn't satisfied and couldn't focus. I was anxious. I kept exploring. I found the staircase to go upstairs. More anxiety. My chest hurt at this point. But I continued up the stairs slowly and with shaky legs. My friend behind me was whispering that she didn't want to go upstairs. I can barely hear her. I feel like I'm underwater. She's still afraid. I'm still anxious. The walk up the stairs feels like it's taking me an hour to complete. Everything is in slow motion. She is gripping on my sweater and I'm still shaking. I make it to the top step. I'm facing a window immediately. Everything outside looks black and white but I know in my mind it's green. I keep telling myself "that's green" as I stared at the grass out the warped window and it wasn't changing color. I feel like I am walking through mud as I turn around to face the upstairs room. My friend is walking back downstairs. I'm hearing her in slow motion screaming "**** this, something is ******* weird here i'm going outside". As she is leaving I'm seeing what I'm seeing.... the far wall of the room is covered in black mold... beyond reason it is covered from corner to corner seeping to the connecting walls like they were hundreds of outstretched dark arms waiting to pull me into an abyss. Everything is still black and white. I feel the warmth of someone breathing heavily on my ear. Distinctly, I hear a growl. I feel the vibrations of an angry, sinister, evil growl, and I can't explain it. I can't explain a **** thing. But it was there. It was felt. It was real. And it was ******* crazy. I ran down the stairs and fell on my way down and scraped my knee up pretty bad. After that, all I remember is that the very moment I put my foot on the grass, and was off the mossy front porch, I was seeing color again.
Sep 2022 · 92
Untitled
Emma Katka Sep 2022
Fixer upper
Flipped and tender
Wondering where we're going
Home feels like forever away
And they say it's a feeling
Well then that's distant too
Sep 2022 · 284
Untitled
Emma Katka Sep 2022
I'm not feeling
very familiar
I've got an itch
on my brain
that moves linear
bruising on a foreign bed
tongue tied
and in my head
Aug 2022 · 69
solo
Emma Katka Aug 2022
I wanted more from you
than you were willing to give
but I can't expect action
from someone so miserably passive
even though you always had such pretty words
I remained thirsty for pretty verbs
that I knew I'd never see
but I kept hoping
and
I used to think you were my ghost
now I'm wondering if I'm more than just the host
for my own haunting
that's traumatizing and taunting my psyche
telling me I'm not worthy
all because of the actions of weak men  
that I give more power to than they deserve
once again...
and
communication without comprehension
is a deadly circle I find myself dizzying in
I could talk myself in to the ground
and think I'm breaking through to you
but it's an illusion
just like your truth
and perhaps mine too
I want to feel like I am more than a bucket list ****
I want to feel worthy, not down on my luck
and I know
I'll feel that better on my own
rather than the repetitive ******* I've been shown
the mind changes, rearranges
and I'm back to square one
boxes were never in my comfort zone
neither was being alone
I'd rather embrace my solo
Aug 2022 · 112
Notebooks
Emma Katka Aug 2022
I love new notebooks. I like them even more when they're filled. I love the texture of the raised paper once my letters in ink fill their pages. The satisfying rolling bumps that I created. My fingertips gliding across the paper landscape.

But it never gets bumpy. My mind strikes me down first. I need the perfect pen. When I write, I press hard, so I like a steady stream of ink. It better dry fast, or I'm  smearing it. I don't like it when it smears.

My mind works fast, I can't erase ink. Backspace backspace backspace. So, I type. But I want to fill pages. The screen isn't as satisfying and I don't have handwriting to appreciate. I hate it when my handwriting doesn't look satisfying. But typing works faster, and better with my mind. I'll throw away lists if I don't like my handwriting. I'll make drafts. Re-write. Toss. Re-write. Now I can do everything on the list. The required conditions have been met.

I'll sit down for a little bit. I start day dreaming in poetry. I remember the way light looks on your dashboard. I remember your callused fingers catching on my tights in the passenger seat. I reach for my notebook; I want to write about it.

I need the perfect pen. I'll get up and look for one.
Aug 2022 · 211
Untitled
Emma Katka Aug 2022
What you think you know
You don't
Keep on disturbing your peace
Every time you think of me
Aug 2022 · 222
Untitled
Emma Katka Aug 2022
Memories only I remember
You had to be there
But you were gone
Jul 2022 · 68
Untitled
Emma Katka Jul 2022
Coming up emptied handed
and calling me a handful
Jul 2022 · 76
Snake
Emma Katka Jul 2022
Pretty words
from a pretty face
Wrapped all up
with a slap across my face
You're just like the cement
that broke my wrist
Existing in a guise of stability
that I foolishly missed
Waiting for you to crumble
when you felt any pressure
You're smooth, but reptilious
with too much texture
You're a snake in the grass
who loves playing the victim
A liar, a fake
and you got it down to a system
Claim you're damaged goods
while aiming to inflict some
Get to therapy, please
before you get your kicks
and lose them
Jul 2022 · 250
solar
Emma Katka Jul 2022
everything's different
but nothing has changed
just realities clashing
and life picking up the pace
I just want to see your face
but I don't want you to see mine
you'll read me too well
you'll see I'm not fine
after telling you I am
and I'm doing what I can
but I don't know how to recover from
the trust we had that was lost
I don't have the change for the cost
lend me some quarters baby
I'm a change machine
that's needing some rewiring
I don't want to need loose change anymore
I wanna be solar, baby
just need some more light on me
Jul 2022 · 71
space
Emma Katka Jul 2022
anger is a weight
no one notices you've gained
until your knees buckle under it all
and you can't see straight
I'm so ******* jaded
and tired of being disappointed
I'm gonna crackle and burn soon,
so before you take a chance on me
read the ******* room...
don't give me too much too soon
but don't leave me thirsty for more
I won't wait at any man's door
when they're behind giant walls...
and to lose seeds of hurt in me planted,
I'd need the magnitudes of an earthquake
I want to lose the layers I can't shake
I don't want the illusion of trust
on a foundation that's fake
so rise up to my level and meet me
because I won't step down
to make any man more comfortable than me
if you have an issue with the space I take up
than you can ******* leave
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