wanna be adored
while simultaneously ignored

watch out for the weight
they should say
after you fall in love and fall into place
watch out for the weight
you'll learn how easy it is to stay in
when it's just you and him
watch the world spin
where the **** do i get in
and how the **** do i get out
when the spinning stops blurring
and it's all black
and my words are slurring
you've got me ******* & cut off
circulations burst from string and it's stinging
i'm a purple and blue hue
feeling like a walking bruise
words pack more punch than they used to
i don't really mind hurting
you gave everything & that's true
what can break isn't broken
it just needs time and space to soak in

those chances you wish you'd taken
wish I woulda been bolder
less cold-
-er, is that possible for me to do?
I've got walls made of iron and ice
and I never thought twice
that it'd leave me swimming
regret pools up in lost chances
lost moments of boldness
lost moments of warmness
could have experienced your soul
could have hurt myself when I saw it was foul
didn't even let myself find out
didn't even let ourselves melt down
into each other
maybe we could have another
maybe it's all lost in blurry summers
maybe I gotta get over myself
feeling like you'd still give a ****
why do I even give a ****,
cause I wanna feel good?
or because now I would
could
should
have

reading my horoscope
like it's going to give me some sort of clarity
what's in the stars besides my head

those days that you're stuck in your skull
thoughts so full
horns of a bull
skin peeling and I still can't get that feeling
that high isn't worth everything it seems
a couple years have passed
still haven't been filled up
why would I want to be
and hey
everyone who goes downtown gets lost anyway
if I feel like my heart is bleeding
doesn't that make the alcohol sting me more
what a ****** cold press on every **** emotional sore
good rhyme, girl
you've got flow now
can't stop ******* picking
peeling and screaming
but i've got a smile on my face and you think i'm fine
i've got a smile on my face and i'm drowning in this **** wine
more whine
angry and divine
****** and bored
what am i talking about to you and you and you
and him
what about him
leave him out of this
keep him in on this
i'm stuck cracking knuckles
addicted to making my knees buckle
gimme that fear and loathing
i'm drowning in it
i'm drowning in it

the older i get the more things there are to miss and it becomes harder every year, i wonder how to balance, i wonder how to find peace, i wonder how to be okay with things that are gone but you never wanted to leave, i wonder when i'm about to experience change, because change scares me unless it brings me to art, but my art hurts me when i see it lately and i'm not sure what to do but continue this ongoing sentence until i find a good stopping point...........................................................i­ think i found it

doesn't matter what my mouth says
my face has a reputation of its own
from syndromes induced
by the pressures of small town living
faces i've never seen
or haven't seen in years
people who don't know me at all
speak of me through someone else's teeth
they wear a self-placed title of unity
pinned over a flesh embroidered title
that reads
L I A R
you're not genuine enough to be my friend
but not strong enough to be my enemy