I want to love you when you are ugly
pretty sirens held in tightly to my ****** regulation
of foreign relations/ and transgressed poverty

yes I do
I scream it at the top of my voice my darling
let me love you when you are ugly
I want to linger in your most empty places
awfully.

let me kiss you when you are angry
shed the ill word tell me everything you think of me
and speak to me bluntly

my ears are sore with the pretty
depict me/ dissect me
get me down to my nitty gritty

let me love you when you are ugly

let me stain you with my eyes and fly you away from this country
wrap my arms around you and tell you that you don't need your family

there was a time when blindness hovered in shades of gray
with wings of dragons
and tongues of Shakespeare
latent driven on the hooks of youth and
almost prosperity

let me love you when you are ugly
I say these words knowing it is almost quite impossible
for in my eyes you are always lovely

green with life, the
sea rushes up against
shores where green
trees grow and green
men fight and green
skies are dismissed
as impossible and
the green time bring
thoughts of greed
but is really meant
to remind one of
when they were once
young, still learning
and exploring, and
their green shoots
stretched their trendily
arms out towards the
sun and their thin roots
spread out through the
soil and they knew
little of the world
except that it was blue
and green and red and
brown and all the good
colors we had yet to
define; that there was
still a whole lot of stuff
we didn’t know, most
especially how green
we were to our own
ignorance

I hope you hang from the noose tied around my heart,
to decapitate the monster
that eats at your thoughts;
searching for your weakness
and feeding on your pain,
killing you quickly in this inevitable game.
You roll the dice again,
only to find you'll never win.

Now the tables have turned and I'm back where i started;
dumb and in love,
scarred arms and open hearted.
when I realized the games were over
and everything was real,
i tried desperately to run,
but stayed for the thrill;
expecting you'd leave once you've had your fill.

now I'm happily trapped,
in this game we call love.
i won't try to run or give you away.
you're mine and I'm yours,
and that's how it should be.
we killed the monster and beat the game,
our cynical hearts now one in the same.

I slammed the door.
an echo strained it's way
throughout the universe
with a
shudder.


that made still even the pattering of children's feet.
or so i thought.
i believed myself to be far more powerful than i truly was,
or, perhaps, i was more powerful than i could possibly fathom.
regardless,
i shut the door.
i shuffled throughout the cold room.
white walls,
black tile floor
glinting in the fluorescent light.
cold radiated throughout the room
it was impossible to tell whether that cold
was inherent to the room or
if the room was inherent to the cold.  
regardless,
i shivered.
my body shook violently with the disgusted vibration of a
million
angry
bees.  
i continued to walk, the hallway stretched forever.
each step added
a
m
i
l
l
i
o
n
inches
to the length i would never cross.
Zeno crossed my mind.  
I had never believed he was correct but in that moment,
i could never doubt him.  
I took a step, the hallway stretched,
I took a step, the hallway stretched.  
I took a step,
the cold permeated the pores of my body.  
I took a step,
the fluorescent lights stung my eyes.  



At last, the end of the hallway.

I did not see a mirror but, rather,
an alternate universe.  
I saw myself,
most poised and calm as I had ever been.  
I could not be the same person
That I was staring at.
This being pored into my soul.  
This person gnawed upon my
mind and
exhilarated my senses.  


This could not be me.  
The eyes across the glass, identical to mine own.
stared.
stared.
until i was forced to look away.
i glance back.
the eyes continued to
stare.
continued to
stare
with an entrancing understanding
that i did not even bother to wish upon myself
the base futility of this wish rendering it meaningless.
this being, this was not me.
another realm i had seen,
for only that moment.  
another realm so close,
i may just have touched it.