i welcome lows like highs
you bit my ear and then laughed—
*"if your entire life is peaking
you're nothing but a plateau"

i have lived under a thousand suns
each day a different combination of powders and palliatives
each day a different way to substitute people and painkillers
i have found the meaning of life and it is such—
the only way to forget your name
is to also forget mine

i wanted sin and *** appeal,
but you were my achille's heel.
i singed my skin so i could no longer feel
what's real, unreal—
what's real—
—unreal

you told me once
that sleep deprivation
is the equivalent of
seven shots of whisky.

so i drank your words
on tuesday afternoon
and slammed down
seven shots of whisky
on wednesday night
and watched the sunrise
on thursday morning.

the whisky wore off long ago
but i am still here hoping that
if i stay awake long enough
i will stop dreaming
of you.

I'm not an artist,
nor am I a murderer—
but I would **** for the day
where you let me trace circles on your skin
and outline your canvas with mine.