Was it all a lie?
Every touch, every word, every laugh?
I tried so hard,
yet it just wasn't enough.

When I was with you,
I swear, no one was happier than me.
I gave you everything,
but to you, it still seemed like nothing.

I was blinded by your charisma
because to me, it was beautiful.
Mine however,
just couldn't compete.

I went to the ends of the earth for you,
except you wanted the ends of the universe.
I trusted you with my heart, my secrets, and my love,
but you just spat it back in my face.


You treated me like the most undesirable human being in the world,
yet I wanted to give you the world.

I believe in weakness in numbers
I don't believe in peace
I believe in blindness in responsibility
I believe that ignorance is a decadence, something only people who are poor in spirit but rich in materials can indulge in
I believe in jealousy in silence and falsehood in religion.
In
Numbers in colors
And colors in infinite white spaces.
I believe in Saudi Arabia because the letters look cool, but
I don't believe in America because the seven letters look as if they should be stamped on a fast food bag rather than across a wheel of expensive cheese.
I believe in masculinity, and feminism, and gay marriage, and people that you just want to sink into because their name is spelled s-a-f-e-t-y.

I fall in love when I am lonely
4. I won't be able to look in the mirror and be happy
5. I can not fall in love after ***.
6. My need for affection is insatiable.
7. I somehow convinced myself I will be the Anastasia to one of these Mr.Greys
8. I feel that two is the loneliest number
9. As long as you touch me I will love you
10. I wont be able to look in the mirror and be happy
11. I know I said that twice
1. I do not know how to love people properly.
2. This includes myself.

You are a liar
not a poet, he said,
and your feelings
are as meaningful
as an invitation
made in September,
that new year bliss
that covers you in
new notebooks,
fresh pencils and
friends. If you could
only love a person
as much

if you could only
love me

It's three in the morning,
And I am so tired.
But the thought of having to wake up
Is keeping me from falling asleep.

It is Tuesday
Not quite
An amusing
Day I find

You told me to take a chance
So I took it

You told me to trust you
So I did

You told me you loved me
So I believed you

You told me you were sober
But you weren’t

You told me you were tired
But you lied

You told me we’d hang out
And we didn’t

You told me you’d change
And you didn’t

I told myself I was disappointed
But forgave you

You lied multiple times
But I still gave in

I let you take advantage of me
But I don’t know why

You don’t understand
And I'm done

I thought you were different
But you’re not

"You caught a plane"

                     *More correctly:
                                I broke your fall,
                                you broke my neck.






                                                   ­                    Don't catch planes.

Don’t you tell me this is real
After all the things we said
You told me I was a mistake
Well for you I never did feel

Yet these scenes repeat in my head
Those days we never got out of bed
Movies playing without interruption
Where it all started on the couch

The calls during the night
Thinking twice to pick up the phone
To you it wasn’t fair
Think about it, it was my turn
Then I’d say hello
And just like that everything was gone

For quite a while I said I’d make it work
I ignored your suspicions, accusations and lies
You thought you were in the lead
To me it was all just a game

Those long night train rides
Sounds I wish I’d never made
You never did give me the key

So now you say she’s not the one
And he’s exactly what you say he is
And you tell me she’s beautiful
That I’m wrong
You swear you’re done
It’s been four times said before

But I remember those walks
The sand you promised was ours
The rain against our skin
All those crazy things you said
I’m left sitting here
Waiting for you to make it clear