It’s all just a game
This is something I now know
Power over another
Is this a game of telephone?
You sent your message down the wire
Knowing that you were a liar
But my mind was too young & naïve
And the words that I received
Were jumbled
And like a football being fumbled
You we’re careless with my heart
I was slowly falling apart
But all you cared about was the score
But life is meant for so much more
So I forfeited, I left the game
And to you, I'm just a name.

You told me to take a chance
So I took it

You told me to trust you
So I did

You told me you loved me
So I believed you

You told me you were sober
But you weren’t

You told me you were tired
But you lied

You told me we’d hang out
And we didn’t

You told me you’d change
And you didn’t

I told myself I was disappointed
But forgave you

You lied multiple times
But I still gave in

I let you take advantage of me
But I don’t know why

You don’t understand
And I'm done

I thought you were different
But you’re not

to feel as if no one understands you is the loneliest feeling of all.

you wait for a sign
of reassurance
of comfort

there's nothing.

complete emptiness

your mind rushes with countless thoughts

nothing makes sense

what's wrong? they ask.

you wish you could answer

but you can't

you wish you knew what was wrong

but you don't

life's misery has piled

one by one

making your shoulders a little heavier

with each added weight

life has brought you down

you're fearful that nothing will bring you up

you look around for any sign of happiness

of hope
of guidance

there are none

you take a deep breath

it seems your breathing is the only thing you have control over

you close your eyes and continue to breath

dreading whatever is to come

I think the part that gets me the most is knowing that I will never feel that way about someone again.
I will never experience that rush, that kind of joy, the ever-satisfying comfort that surrounds.
Will I ever be truly happy?
How can I?
Especially when I know what it COULD feel like,
And I know that it doesn’t.
Those feelings are gone,
And will never be felt,
Ever.
Again.
The way I felt about you.
That kind of feeling.
That kind of love.
Compassion.
Obsession.
Devotion.
Yearning.
That was true.

Goodbye to true love.

Maybe it's different, maybe this time he'll change?
“Go ahead, keep telling yourself that. You know it’s not true.”
Maybe one day he’ll feel the same way?
“Why do you give yourself false hope?”
It’s like we spend all of our time waiting for a boy who will never change.
“But if you know this then why do you give in again and again?”
It's hard learning that someone will never change.
“You need to stand your ground.”
The way he satisfies my lonely urges…
“Build a wall, separate from him.”
I’ve built a wall, strategically of things that he’s good at so he could break it down.
I’m still the same vulnerable girl when he comes around.
It’s like I lose control of everything…
My brain doesn’t function and my body only moves in ways that he’d like it to.
“He treats you like nothing and you know this.”
It’s hard realizing that your feelings for someone will never be mutual.
They only want you when they can’t have you.
“You know he’s no good for you.”

someone who used to take up all your time
now only takes up a slot in your photo album

you pass on the street
and you both pretend not to care

someone who used to fill your mind
is now just a distant memory

and we'll pass each other in our new lives
but neither of us will admit-
that we secretly wonder what could have been

I know your smell, that old familiar smell.
The expressions you'd make and their meanings.
I can feel the soft touch of your fingertips.
These are all things that I will never forget.

When our relationship ended, my love for you didn't.