at det hele godt kan blive lidt tomt når man er alene i en to værelses og der kører politi forbi ude foran og der er en opvask der stadig ikke har taget sig selv og jeg kan ikke komme ud af døren uden at falde over sko og jeg har blokeret dig på snapchat og har også lyst til at fjerne dig som ven på facebook for du er sguda for fanden en nar men så igen fortjener du også at kunne følge med i hvor godt jeg (forhåbentligt) får det lige snart for selvom jeg har ondt i maven hjertet hovedet over beskeder bestående af kun et ord kunne det også bare være mig der er bange for at skulle forblive alene i en toværelses med blå blink igennem ruden og et fad med nachos der sidder fast og en dobbeltseng der kan rumme meget mere end mig og noget rod jeg ikke har energi til at fjerne ligesom jeg ikke har energi til at lave de afleveringer jeg har for til om en halv time selvom det burde jeg virkelig for jeg har lige fået en skriftlig advarsel fra gymnasiet men hvad nytter det når man ikke engang har energi til at gå i bad eller sætte kommaer eller slukke for hjernen når den tænker at det bedste svar man kan give er slukkede telefoner og halvhjertede beskeder det kan jo for fanden være ligegyldigt men det er det bare ikke

completely ecstatic
blissful
deeply convinced that what i felt
in his arms was the feeling of being home
only to have him leave me
feeling even sadder
than before i met him

it was always a skinny love
so fragile and i didn't even notice

i will do anything to your full attention
i do not care about danger
i do not care about anything but you

og pludselig sidder du pakket ind i +5 dyner og burde egentlig ikke fryse, men der er så fandens koldt over det hele. laver flere liter te for at få det bedre men hælder kop efter kop ud i vasken, for bare lugten giver dig brækfornemmelser. modern family er ikke så sjovt længere og de eneste sange der får lov at spille færdigt er dem han linkede til dig. hans ******* musiksmag ramte plet hver gang. du kan ikke finde ud af om smerten mellem dine ribben er pga den halve flaske tequila du formådede at hælde ned i går eller om det bare skyldes de ord han sagde og hvor let han havde ved at droppe alt det han selv havde været med til at bygge op. du er ikke sikker på om han lagde mærke til dig da du løb gennem byen med en veninde i hånden og prøvede alt hvad du overhovedet kunne for ikke at lade ham se dig græde. du ved bare at lige nu gør det hele ondt og du tør ikke bevæge dig uden for din dør i frygt for at se dem sammen - han har jo tydeligvis ikke noget problem med at vise hende frem foran dig - end ikke på din egen fødselsdag. tillykke. du sidder i stedet i din dobbeltseng hvor jeres kroppe for første gang kolliderede. og du kan ikke slippe for det uanset hvad du gør. stryger tændstikker, for forhelvede, hvor ville det være let bare at lade det hele brænde væk.
du vil bare væk. jeg vil bare så gerne væk.

i don't remember your voice anymore
i never hear it
i hear his. on the phone at 1 am
whispering goodnigt to me

i don't remember your hair
i never see it
i see his. i pull it and tuck it
as he kisses me deeply

i don't remember your eyes
i'll never look into them again
instead i'll look into his
deep blue and like a thousand stars

i don't remember your house
i never visit
you moved anyway
so does that even matter

i remember your favourite song
it's mine too
but i try to forget as i recieve a text from him
"ever heard of this artist?"

i don't remember the smell of your perfume
you're so far away
i remember his
it's stuck in my bedding

i don't remember you
you're gone. you've left
he's here. he's right here
so why the hell is this about you

break your heart
break you hard

and now we never ever speak
for all i know he could be dead

i give and i forgive
you get and you forget

you're asleep
you're dreaming
about teeth falling out and shadows chasing you
about fields full of flowers and holding his hand
no matter what about, you dream too much
and you wake up and he's still not there
the rain makes your windows look *****
and the wind causes the roof to make noises
and he won't be there to hold you when the sun goes down
so you go back to sleep
and behind your eyelids you see that smile
that smile he used to flash at you
before holding up a glass of white wine
"cheers" spilling from his asymmetric lips
but that's history
and you shouldn't still be dreaming about him
but you were never one to be the boss of your dreams
the heat wakes you up at 5:47
you haven't been this hot since the too of you shared a bed
you need to stop always drawing him into things
he
is not there
he
won't ever be
don't make yourself remember the good times
and how he's everything you ever looked for in a guy
those thoughts belong in late night dreams
and you need to wake up.
wakey wakey, eggs and bakey

i lie next to him
his tan skin and his sleeping soul
and he's so beautiful

and it was crazy how obvious his flaws became
once i was not forced
to think he was flawless

you might need me
i don't need you
i love me
i love me enough for the both of us

i hate him
        ih a te hi m


i HATE HIm





                                            I h a t e h i m



i ha                             te           hi                  m

i h a a a a a  a a a   t e e e e e  e e h i i i i i m m m m m


i hate him

i  
  hate
              him

and i stopped smoking shortly after i met him
i stopped, because he didn't
and even though it felt so good inhaling the smoke he blew in-between
my lips
it just still didn't make up for the fact that i was slowly watching
the one i adored **** himself
and i don't know if he cares or not but it felt so horrible
knowing that now. and now. and now.
he shortens his life by what seems to be an eternity
and i guess i never realised this when my own lungs were at risk
but you
don't you dare die on me

do i like him or do i like that he likes me?

running up my spine
hanging in my veins
stirring up my mind
bending around my waist
pounding on my chest
falling through my hair
running out of air

for the first time
since i was like 4
i actually took the time
to pick petals off of flowers
and guess what

he loves me not.

i'm gonna wear black - all black.
i don't like blues or yellows
and the only thing pink should be your tounge on the inside of my teeth.

if this is gonna end up with something that needs to be "facebook official"
(ugh)
i WILL force you to delete those 2012 pics of you so my friends
(who have never seen you before) won't think you're that ugly

i'd love to go out and eat with you and act like we're all fancy and stuff
but can we do it right after payday
because give me a week and my money are looooong gone

we are gonna hang out at your place
my parents are awkward and ask too many questions
and i love train rides
so you're not gonna come to me, i'm gonna come to you

if we work something out you better show people you like me
i'm talking friends, exes, complete strangers i. don't. care
but show people the love, okay

yeah i have trust issues
i get jealous over pretty much everything
but just kiss and let me know i'm yours and you're mine
and we should be good

waking up is always best
with your whole body
smelling like selftan
because summer is near
with sand stuck in your sheets
from yesterdays walk on the beach
mascara in the corners of your eyes
because you fell asleep texting that guy
sunlight shining through your door
and flowers when you look outside
open windows to air out the house
berries and greek yoghurt in the fridge
and loads of plans to keep you busy

now i've got you in my space
i won't let go of you
got you shackled in my embrace
i'm latching on to you

in the day i don't remember
in the night i pretend i don't

have you had love for me, boy?
have you only love for the blue sky?
have you kissed the lips
of one you like
so hard you couldn't stay alive?

i'm on my own and i'm crazy for you
get the creeps by the way
your body moves

i smell his perfume, still
i feel him like i felt him
and you don't matter at all

well i don't like YOU
but i kind of like US
yeah, i like us
and i like that sneaky picture my friends took
when you kissed me
and it hurts my stomach when i think of how
i'm not the only girl you kissed that night
which i guess makes me guilty of double standards
'cause even though you were the first of the night
you weren't the last
or the middle one
or the one after that
but yeah, let's say the first one is all that counts
and then we can both be happy
we
us
us
us
us

it's hard to sleep.
especially when
the moon shines too bright
through your window
your ribs still hurt from that fall
you took last wednesday
the guy you like still doesn't care
and that friend of his who wanted you so badly
got what he wanted
your knees are blue from falling to hug the toilet
ruining your tooth enamel once again
because you ate too much
your sister texted you, she's not happy
and she's too far away for you to visit
you haven't done your homework
you're so small and the house is so big
so quiet, so full of secrets
you can't face everyone at school
and the thought of going scares you
you don't know how to quit your job
man, your boss is gonna **** you
you're ugly and have gained weight
and some guy started a rumor that
you're a sleep-around
though you've never really been with anyone
but oh, people believe him

it's hard to sleep
so i don't

my lungs ache when i breathe
my heart hurts when i speak
so wake up
this is not what we wished for

old lover
i hope it kills you to know
that you never will know

never know of the body
that is a map
with veins like streets
and curves like mountains

it's all yours
yet the other guys don't seem to care
i guess we can't afford to

old lover
i hope it kills you to know
that you never will know

never know of the head
that spins around
like a bottle at a slumber party
everytime he's there
and you're not

still you've got me
but you don't kiss me like the other boys do
or at all

old lover
i hope it kills you to know
that you never will know

you say you can't
but you do it anyways
admit i drive you crazy

without sounding too cliché
i'd like to say
that his eyes told
a story of a night
a long time ago
and his smiled whispered
he wanted to rewrite

someone with straight A's
doesn't want someone
who fails math
someone with perfect skin
doesn't want someone
who breaks out everytime she's stressed out or eats too unhealthy
someone with a body like that
doesn't want someone
who works out once a week
someone that happy
doesn't want someone
who cries too loud and used to cut her skin
someone that stylish
doesn't want someone
who has been wearing the same boots for a year
someone so pure
doesn't want someone
who kissed 11 guys in a week
someone like you
donesn't want someone
like me

why can't you want me
like the other boys do
they stare at me
while i
crave you

the hickey has faded
when will you

indviklet
viklet ind
i hinanden
mens vi falder
ud af mængden
væk fra natklubber
hånd i hånd
gang på gang

lejlighedsdøren knirker stadig
falsk kærlighed
sandt begær
nøgenheden lyver aldrig
men forholder sig tavs
smil fra dine øjne
brænder
som salt i åbne sår
for jeg er en andens
men vi er stadig
viklet ind
i hinanden

tangled together
like fishtail braids
as if they had never parted
and never again would

hans kærtegn er et hav
og jeg drukner

and then you kissed me
like it was a habit
and i'm afraid
it might be

it's like
we're strangers
who happen to know
each other
very well

your kiss is killing
and im left to die
with venom in my veins
and poison in my heart

why
did
you
die
my
friend

"how sweet
it must be
to feel all the pain
at once
and then
never
again"

lights and smoke
covering the dance floor
showing a glimpse of
smiles and dancy feet

street lights and aircon
burning in my tired eyes
no ****** expression
burning inside

when the lips
that wouldn't let me go
suddenly can't speak a word
i no longer wish to be in this car

i wish to be in front of it

you have
l o v e
in places
i can't
d
e
s
c
r
i
b
e

i am the morning
you are
the night
yet you seem
to shine so bright

you are the restless
i am
the sleep
so close your eyes
breathe me in deep

brittle bones
in skinny jeans
***** knees
from falling
                    in love

midnight kisses
in haunted woods
broken hearts
from being
                    in love

true hope
in false words
months and months
of staying
                    in love

two people
two hands longing
for each other's warmth
yet barely touching
naive enough to not
appreciate the moments
they get to hold each other

two people
two spirits longing
for each other's love
since it's been too long
yet both too shy to
appreciate the times
they could have told each other

two people
two looks longing
to meet again
two strangers, not strangers
yet act like it
never appreciate the time
they could've spend together

"love is a weird thing like

you just pick a human and you're like yes i like this one i'll let this one ruin my life forever"

mon amour, je sais que tu m'aimes aussi
tu as besoin de moi
tu as besoin de moi dans ta vie
tu ne peux plus vivre sans moi
et je mourrais sans toi
je tuerais pour toi

i remember crying
when my mum's coat
smelled of cigarette smoke
because i didn't want her to die

i remember not getting out of bed
the morning after that one boy
kissed someone else
because i wanted to be her

i remember cutting my skin
when i realised
they all left me
because i needed them

i remember feeling disgusted
when i was the one to smoke
and kiss someone else and leave
all because i was so broken

and you should know i'm sorry
and i hope you don't cry
i hope you get out of bed
i hope your skin is whole