I still hold onto your fantasy in my head tight.
Can you feel the memories at night?
Or are you completely alright?
Do you replay every detail in your head, too?
I believed in your potential even if your damage grew.
I realized they were always there, the clues,
A part of me still wants you to remember though, just for the sake of the blues.

I guess there was no way clear,
Your voice's still ringing deep inside my ear.
I know it'll pass and i'd be healed,
But i can't help and peel
My lips, when i think about everything,
Will we ever get closure or just nothing?
Guess i'll get my tea,
sit on that breezy balcony,
And try to do nothing.

All day, and everyday,
When i remember your face,
I recall those times,
When we were the same age.

As we ran through the hallways,
Completely in panic.
Running scared from those,
Identified as strong boys.

Elevating all the floor dust,
We were running while they were chasing us.
Through the screams laced with hatred
We were criminals
Just for loving whom we wanted.

If only our brains were lobotomized,
So we could spend our lives
cuddling all night,
without the weight of worry.
No more missed calls from mom,
just sleep and your arms
kissing you,
laying down into an eternal calm.

I remember the panic in our eyes,
How we looked to the window
When the police lights
danced furiously on the walls
A car’s reflection pulling us
to the great fear of getting caught.
The shade bled red,
and the misery wore blue.

You said,
"I just gotta be sure."
Well, I do too.
But who doesn’t want to know for certain
before they think they found the one?
Are we still meant to be
if we don’t feel that certainty
deep down?

I guess it was confusion
that made me cry.
The echo after our last kiss—
a quiet ache,
like knowing
it may never happen again.
The way your warmth
became a memory
before it even left the room.

You said,
"I just gotta be sure."
Well, I do too.
But maybe it was already fading
in the silence that grew.
Maybe love was the question
neither of us ever knew.

If only you loved me as deeply as i did
so we could sleep through the night again,
Before i saw your greed
without ever worrying.
But it was your heart
That started to lobotimize
That wanted just to be loved, not love
I could sense all of it
Deep and well in your absence
Who have you been touching in your silence?

That time you started to reply late.
That time I gave up sending the first message.
That time you never reached out.
That time I realized how many lies you'd been telling.
That time I blocked you from everywhere back to back
That time I wondered if you tried to text back.
That time I went on a new date.
That time I dumped our pictures and your gifts with the chest wrenching ache.
That time i saw under your mask, your real face.
That time our memories started to fade.
That time I started to forget your face...

It's 3 A.M. again...
The night's silence feels like a scream.
I found myself analyzing, once again.
Stress makes my skin itching
Till I let it bleed, bursting.

Disappointments from unsuccessful attempts calling,
Waking my buried feelings, making them digging
My wall that i long tried to built strong

I can feel the sun's plans to rise along
After that, perhaps i'll hear some chirping from birds' songs
And maybe then, these feelings will be gone.

I'll let myself fall into dreams—
A chance to run away from real things—
Until I find myself thinking:
It’s 3 A.M. again...

Every mistake I’ve made feels as heavy as they made by 100 men
And maybe when the clock hits 6,
I can finally sleep by then.