it hurts
to move this
slow

where the demons catch up,
the doubts can shoot me down with
arrows of rusted truth,
and the fears
actually over run me and
begin to choke out my
sanity

it is painful
knowing what I can do
and what I can’t
do
and seeing myself die
in my third person perspective
of my logical
haven

so few get to see what I see now

so few know the pain

they are lucky

With the sunlight filtering in,
Yellow on yellow walls,
Shining on the green bedspread,
And the various shades of pink,
It all seems too happy.

You woke up smiling,
Went to the kitchen to make a coffee
Whistling a show tune,
In harmony with the birds singing outside,
Where is this place?

Feeling so little, without a care,
As though it’s in a dream,
Violence is extinct,
In a world bathing in happiness,
How would you survive?

you cannot comprehend how much you will care

how badly it will hurt
how terribly you will want to die

even if you’ve known it before
to feel it again
will burn ten times worse
than you ever remember it

you will hate yourself for it
and worst of all
you could’ve stopped it
too

but then,
perhaps,
maybe it is
out of our control,
maybe it’s not magic,
or special,
or grand,
and it's best to smile about
the fact that it’s just you,
nothing else,
that caused these events
and now,
*this.

Burnt it all to the ground
Where they slept without a sound
No light in their cold eyes
The last breath left and died

Darkness slowly envelops the walls
Chasing the angels down the halls
Making room for the demons
to slowly make their way back in

Haunting memories flood in
of their screams that night
Your friends and family
going without a fight

Sweet turpentine
and bitter kerosene
A light of a match
on the floor soaked with gasoline

From ground up the ashes lay
Left from the fire
With no words left to say
The cracking of burning wood
Was their final sound to hear

Tied to the rock
Chains around his feet
Stripped of all pride
Laying with the deceit

Left there alone
Left there to die
The last words he remembers
Is when he was told goodbye

Raise his head to see the
People staring all around
Our eyes met his
Our heads are downed

We can see the suffering
We can see the pain
We don't do nothing,
We don't do a **** thing

The only light
Is trained on him
Our eyes glow alive
And then turn dim

We all fall back
Much rather watch him bleed
Leave the knives in his chest
After we've done the deed

This is who we will always be
This is who we are
**** everything promised to us
And watch the world bleed from afar