I feel you pulsing through my veins
This feeling will never be  gone
Because the feeling will always remain
I have a feeling that you are the one

If I brushed your hair aside
And our lips met
Would you try and hide
Or make this a moment we never forget.

I wake to visions of you
You're always on my mind
This I know to be true
I'm feeling this for the first time.

This time I can't hide how I feel
Because it's the sweetest thing I know is real.
When I think of you I can't help but smile
No matter what if I'm with you I'm having fun all the while.

T* hough I know the truth
H urt still lingers in my breath
E mptying out into the street

M other to none, sister to one, daughter to two
O nly one slight problem, I want to be alone with
N othing to bother me, no one to disrupt my
S leepless nightmares, taunting day dreams
T onight I shall not rest until I find a way to
E nd these thoughts, but I will never
R est easy, not until I learn the meaning of peace

W hat have I become anyway?
I s this liar, this thief, this ******,
T he person I've always wanted to
H onor with the title of my name?
I s this black hole swirling inside my chest
N othing more than a shell of a human being?

W hy do I always end up asking the same questions?
I  may never really know who I am
L ike most drifters and loners and
L osers, I may never learn to love myself

N othing is worse than not knowing
E verything there is to know about oneself, it's
V ery unsettling, earth shattering, words don't
E ven make sense, strung together in
R epetitious strings, dangling from the ceiling

S till, a part of me, a very small part
U nderstands that my life isn't really about
B ecoming who I'm meant to be
S ometimes, it's about just learning to
I dentify with the face in the mirror, ignoring the
D enial that seeps through my heart, I know that
E veryone thinks I've lost my head. Well, maybe I have..

I hide what I feel inside
For fear of what you might say.
If life is like a roller ride
Then mine could fly off the tracks any day.

Music eases my troubled soul
And relieves my stress as a whole.
If you were to come in my room
You wouldn't see my inner gloom.

I smile on the outside
So that you won't realize I'm dead on the inside.
If you really looked into my eyes
You'd find the reveal all my outward lies.

I am impossible to label no matter how hard you try
Because I'll retain my individuality until the day I die.

I fall too easily
Even though I know
You could never love me
I still smile and keep up the show.

I try to look on the brighter side
But I see so much pain
When you see the true person they hide
Your thoughts would never be the same.

I don't care to fit in
If you were like me
And had to live in my skin
You is all you'd want to be.

They call it suicide
But on the inside we've already died.
You say you care
But when I needed you no one was there.

I put the gun to my temple
But you're really pulling the trigger.
When you look at the pistol
Do you realize that your mistake was much bigger?

I gave you all I had
But it not being enough made you mad.
I gave you my heart
But you preferred to rip it out.

When I asked if you could hear
It fell on a deaf ear
Despite all that was said
You didn't hear a single word.

But now that I'm dead
Maybe what I had to say will stick in your head.

These steel bonds 
Tied to the table
Hold me down 
I can't move in any way

Their hearts all 
Black and cold inside
I watched them die
All throughout my life

Grew up with what
Was my idol
Now he's dead 
Leaving me dying inside

I dont know how much 
More I can take
Of this constant mental beating
You were wrong

I don't ever want to 
End up like you did

Cause I don't wanna live
Like my mother
I can't stand taking
And watching the sidelines

And I dont wanna live 
Like my father
I don't want to just
Give up before I die

I can't take this
Constant breaking down
Every turn I take
Is wrong in your eyes

When will I ever do 
Something right?
I'm sorry I have dreams.
I'm sorry yours have died

What this is saying
To my old dead idol
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
But at least I don't fake it

Victimize, yourself

                Tantalize, everyone else

                                                  Agonize, her
                                                              
                                                                Moralize, you try
                                                                                  
                                                                                 Critisize, they do
                                                                                                        
                                                                                                       Apologize, can't you?