i said,
the car carving its way around the mountainside,
"this is going to be the song i play when you leave me."
you used to smirk with this kind of arrogance,
like you knew so much better.
yet here we are, five months later,
and as she arched her hips into me,
the song played softly in the background.
and i've got to hand it to you -
it's like i finally figured out why you smiled.
because even at my most distracted,
fingers fumbling in someone else's hair
and testing the tenderness of her skin...
that song,
or maybe that memory,
still turned my head away from
her and back towards my phone, back
towards the missed calls and angry messages,
towards the accusations and the insults,
and it brought me away from her
and somewhere closer to you,
to the mountainside.
and it reminded me of the
pretty weather, those blue skies
and the rocks piled high around us,
and what seemed like a joke but maybe
turned out to be more like a promise.
and you smiled, because
it's almost like
you knew.
for my rant, my favorite heathen.
[inspired by lydia and chuck palahniuk's novel Rant]
11/20/13.