I'm tired of silently suffering and struggling

I'm down to my skin and bone
and my mommy, she can't put down the phone
and stop asking how I'm doing all alone, alone
But the truth is the stars are falling, ma
and the wolves are out, quit calling, ma
and my home has never felt this far.

But all this driving is driving me crazy
and all this moving is proving to get the best of me
And I've been trying to hide it but lately
every time I think I'm better
picking my head up, getting nowhere.

some part of me has always known.

I could see it in your eyes
The pain you felt for me

Sometimes I think about how close I came to never meeting you. So many things had to go a certain way to get us both to that chemistry class, to the chairs in which we sat. The thread binding us is so fragile that if I went back and changed one tiny thing, we wouldn’t be here, and I would never have known what I’d missed in you... But we can’t know what we’ve missed out on. We can only know what we have now.

Help!
In desperate need of hope.

I cannot express the extent of my sorrow
Knowing you will remain trapped

I am not obligated to approve of everything someone else does
I am not obligated to always be nice, especially when I am not treated nicely
I am not obligated to be agree with people constantly
I am not obligated to laugh at someone's jokes
I am not obligated to look at someone
I am not obligated to act kind at the price of acting with love
I am not obligated to apologize for my feelings when someone else upsets me
I am not obligated to blame myself when I am acting according to my conscience
I am not obligated to always be the one who apologizes
I am not obligated to remain in a toxic relationship
I should be loving
I should look people in the eyes
I should not be petty
I should stand up for what is right
I should express truth and justice at every opportunity
I should respect myself enough to let go of people that put no effort into our relationship
I should respect other people enough to still be friendly even after letting them go
I should respect my own feelings enough to be vocal about them
I should respect other people's feelings enough to be vocal to them
I should be discern unhealthy and negative things for myself and make the choice to change them
I should acknowledge that I can be wrong and I am often wrong
I should also acknowledge that I am not always wrong.

I understand it now, the difference between lust and love.