I once owned a candle when lit displayed the most beautiful light ever seen, switching from color to color with a site as breath taking as the northern lights. Sadly, I lived in a windy area, in a shade deprived of windows. So to shield it I sort a glass box and covered it. Through the glass it shinned as bright as ever it was an enchanting site but it never lasted, before long that flame was out leaving behind a cold darkness.
Too much of everything is bad. You are the candle in this story, the glass box is my affection. Afraid to lose you I showered you with so much affection unaware I was suffocating you. Never wanting to be apart from you I forgot you too have a life to live.
Maybe I liked you too much it scared me,
maybe you were right, I did not love you.
Or maybe I have abandonment issues and I’m clingy cause I’m afraid like the rest you’d wake up one day and feel I’m not the one you want.
Like a bad nurse I tend to close my wounds before taking care of the infection.
You see I lash out when hurt, so like a coward I’d rather run than face my woes
I’ve been bottling up and running from myself for so long, I can’t stop now cause I’d be slumped into deep dejection left crippled… so for now I’ll run till my feet fail me

A sensation of familiarity.
A hallucinogen.
A fantasy used to escape woes.
It's meaning has been lost to time, just as the scars incurred were errased.
All that "remains is an idea existing only as a myth"...

Elvito

Tired and fatigued…
Been running... Been running from myself
.…Been so many people I have lost my identity.
Solitude. It seems it’s all I have ever known. No matter the company, I have somehow managed to find a safe haven in the bleak and desolate parts of my mind, content with the thoughts that keep me up at night.
Going senile. Been on the move for so long I have long forgotten what I am running from, driven by the dreaded thoughts of the unknown.
Stuck in a paradox. I try to forget yet I leave notes, yet I make scars to remind myself, so that even if my forgiving heart forgot i would remember when i look to my writs.
I guess some truths you can only hide from for so long.

She was as beautiful as my mind preserved her
Even in a dream she was still a vision of beauty, having the effects of a mirage.
In a realm where time had no hold on reality, things still seemed to move slower at the sight of her.
I found myself dazed as though drifting into another dream
The curve her lips formed radiated bliss.
I enveloped her into my arms and felt a wave of excitement stream through my body, her cologne as intoxicating as i remember.
And her voice soothing...
I had seen some of the wonders of the earth but the warmth of her gaze i saw, that i had never known.
I felt her sear through the cold realms of my heart n mind disarming me
Everything felt so perfect until my brother turned on the light n woke me LoL...

My actions still pain me even now.
Am not sure if i was trying to hurt you or protect you cause it feels like ive brought you nothing but grief.
I wanted to be better than your first but i guess ive just proven we all the same.
At times it takes all of me just to stop myself from calling you and begging you to take me back, but again I'd only hurt you more in the end.
I try to tell myself it was best that way but maybe thats just me trying ease my guilt.
At times my last thoughts before i sleep are of you, wondering what you think of me now.
I wouldn't blame you if you hate me, at times i hate me too, hope its not too late to say am sorry...

Ever wondered what makes it feel frightening?
Why it feels so familiar even when its new?
Why its so daring?
What makes it feel so tempting, it feels worth it?
Or how it can feel right and wrong all together?
Why it feels so complicated yet simple?
Ever wondered why?

There is no mistaking it. Like deja vu its always familiar.
The longing,
The anxiety,
The adrenaline,
The high,
The low,
The maze.

It hits you like a fever. The chills, the hallucinations, the butterfly effect, the goosebumps n the weakness...
You feel so calm yet excited.
You feel so vulnerable yet complete.
You see only the beauty in one.
Time stops n flies at the same time.
There is no contentment, like air you only crave more.
Head over heels they say ❤