Pick me up from my
*****, scratched knees and set
Me on my way
Because there is more to this
Old world than the people who
Were placed on it

Little boy
With the heart so tender
And fingers so fine
While intertwined with mine
You know that the sun is there
But yet you continue to frown
Because you can't have it
All for your own

I know I might not be the sun
Just another lonely star in another
Far away constellation
But I hope I am good enough for you

Little boy
With arms open wide
You face the struggle of the world
Head on
I hope I can ease the pain
The world has to hand you
Because you have sure eased mine

Anticipation is dissolving
My already thin patience

I am excited to ink
My body and dim the old lines

Painting a new story on the
Canvas, writing over the old

The old words on my body will
Still linger there

But fade will the scars
And my memories will blur

And my new story will be magnificent
I can promise that

Pathetic is the label
I've branded onto my own skin
With razor blades and broken glass
With the voices that are within

I can't even look at my own
Body without shying back with disgust
And regret of the first day
I chased after the razors with lust

Weak is what I see
It's filled up every corner of me
And while everyone stares so blindingly
With their smiles curved so happily

I cry and feel empty
Though I'm filled with so much hate
Filled with anger and sorrow
That the blades are my lonely fate

Wide as a bus, she stares back at me
Fat spilling over my jeans
And pushing against my shirt
Pop pop popping at the seams

I will never be perfect
But I will always try
Even if that means not eating
And sneaking in some lies

This is my globe
That I revolve around
This is my tiny world
Where I feel so safe and sound

I've hit a new low
By smashing a hand mirror
Into many new sharp edges
And using it to carve a new story

Into my wrists and thighs
And as I whispered my good byes
To my new years resolution
I cried because I realised

I don't know if I want to get better
Everyone wants me to
Everyone is rooting and cheering me on
But I'm stuck here, wondering

Why I want to get better
And why can't I get worse
I see no reason not to
Nothing is stopping me

And the throbbing in my leg and wrist
Reminds me that there is no escape
I can't do anything right
And I don't want to get better

What's the point

I use to think I was the
One and only
Solitary wolf on my
Lonely journey into hell and

I would stay up all night wondering.
Why I had to be the one and only.
But I was foolish and one soon
Became a few.

And over the years and
After crying puddles of tears
A few slowly morphed into many.
And as that many grew

Into several, it became
Way more than just a few.
Now I stand with an ocean of faces
Of old and young.

Faces so new and fragile to
The harsh earth, and faces
Who know what its like to
Be broken down into so many pieces

That they truly believe that razor
Blades, pieces of hot metal,
Hair pulling and nail biting and
Hitting your head on a brick wall are

Solutions to the pain.
The pain we harbor and hold so dearly
To our fragile hearts.
Because without pain and loneliness

How do you live? After years
Of pain and self inflicted torture
How do you live a normal life?
How do you walk around like those

Years never happened to you?
I am starting to learn that
You just don't. You live and breathe
And you don't forget the past, oh no.

You just let the wounds scab over,
Like the cuts that used to fester,
And you learn to live again.
You can't go back and erase the past,

Believe me, I've tried! But you learn
That just because you're a little
Scratched up, doesn't mean someone
Won't see you're beauty.

So let the wounds heal over
And yes, go back and trace the scars with
Your fingers. Because that's not all of who
You are anymore. It's just a small part

Of your life.