She's a lost cause
Right from the start
The darkness engulfed her
And so did the bitter cold
She was screaming for help
But she's utterly alone
Alone in this world
With no one to hold on to
Just a lost cause
Who wanted to know
What a touch
From someone feels like
But I guess she'll die
Cold and alone
With nothing but
Her demons in her head

He believes in patterns and numbers;
That everything is calculated
From the way a person walk
To the waves of the ocean
Even if it seemed random
It actually isn't
But then he looked at me and said
"maybe not everything"
He laughs and turns around
Trying to balance himself
On the big rocks by the seashore
"You contradict my beliefs
And maybe that's why I love you
Because you're beyond the rules"
I told him that maybe
Just maybe, not everything is calculated
And that it has to be a mystery
Because till this day
I never fully understood him
And it led to more questions
Than answers

Just because the moon
Shines brightly at night
It doesn't mean that
The moon doesn't have
A dark side, casted away
From the shadow of it's craters

Thigh gaps
Empty stomach
Skin and bones
This are all the things
We aim as girls
Because society's definition
of "pretty" is
Skinny and petite
But since when
Does hollow space
Count as "beauty"

I built my walls so high
With my doubts and sadness
Only to be knocked down by you
And I thought I was doing the right thing
But you've shown the world
Existing outside the walls
I carefully created

A world built
Using playing cards
Can be knock down
By anything
So she goes to bed
With her sneakers on
And sleeps with
One eye open
Ready to run away
When her world
collapses

I close the window
But i can still hear the wind
That keeps me up at night
Whistling through the darkness
Can you hear it?
Echoes of the past
of what should've been
And what has been
Past, present, future
All at the same time
Infinite possibilities
And it all leads back
*To you

I find refuge through kind words
They always utter
I love you
I care
You're important to me
Yet now I wonder
As the darkness approach
I am all alone
While everyone just watches
My existence fade
We are all lonely beings
Searching for the light
But running away from the darkness
And now as the stars die away
One by one
I fade away with them
And everyone will forget
The lonely girl
At the corner
With books at her hand
She's gone
*Forever

They tell us to love
Who we want to love
and aspire happiness
But then you hear them say
no darling, you can't love him
you're a boy

Who are they
To tell us who to love?
Because love is a strong desire
Of someone

They weren't beside him
At 3 in the morning
Watching his chest rise
As he inhale
Or the way his heart beats
Faster whenever I hug him

They weren't with me
Watching him cry
Because of a tv show
He grew to love

And surely
They haven't seen
His quiet strength
As he held my hand
During my darkest times

So tell me why and how
Can society dictate
Who to love
If they haven't seen
What makes the person lovely

Because we can't pick
Who we love
Nor can we stop the desire

Your favourite sweater
To wear on winter nights

Passionate kisses
That leaves a kiss mark
On my cheek

When blood rushes
Through your cheeks
Whenever you're embarrassed
Or outside
On a cold winter morning

Your rain boots
Against the pavement
On a rainy day

My heart that bleeds
Only for you

The colour of passion
And my love for you

Every single day I pretend
I don't feel anything
Because that's what you did to me,
You took everything and left me
With only a broken heart
And memories
That also happened to be fake
Was everything an illusion?
Or did I actually meant something to you

Once
I was happy
But now, I don't want to
Because happiness doesn't last
Like you
And forever doesn't mean
Anything anymore
Because you left me unfixable
And miserable

I can pretend
But I'm falling apart
Because at night
Feelings rush back in
Like a storm
And it takes over me

But I'm broken
And that's all I see;
All I know is
I can't paint over broken

Mr. Smith seemed like a good neighbor
Who has a usual routine and greets her good morning
Little did she know that there was something else
Behind his good mornings and greetings on the streets
And one night she didn't realize
There was another shadow, and it wasn't hers
And something unspeakable happened
She grew up believing it was her fault
Because Mr. Smith is a good neighbor
Or so that's what society says
Because it's always the victim's fault
And not the perpetrator
Apparently she provoked the action
At the age of 20 she still can't speak
Because if she does she will be attacked
Not with sticks but with words
She will be labeled as a *****
So she forced herself to believe
That it was her fault
Because Mr. Smith is a good neighbor

I like you
And I hope the feeling is mutual
But I'm asking for the impossible
Because while I spend my time
Thinking about you
You spend your time
Wanting her
And I know I can never match up to that
Because I can only make you laugh
But she can make you happy
And I only say encouraging words
While she can give you inspiration
Compared to her
I am nothing,
I can never be her
And that's a fact

He was just a guy                                                              ­                                                              I'm­ just a guy
Who simply caught my eye                                                              ­        Who is lucky enough to know her
With that daring smile of his                                                              ­                         The sound of her laugh
Can leave the whole world breathless                                                       ­                    Leaves me breathless
His sense of humour is weird                                                            ­                     She enjoys peculiar things
But I like it that way                                                              ­                                  And I like her just as she is
He's comfortable with silence                                                          ­               The way she talks about books
Because he knows and understands                                                      ­               Like it's the love of her life
That I get lost in my thoughts sometimes                                                        ­                  Makes me wonder
Or get too occupied with a book                                                           If she'll ever talk about me like that
But I'm just me                                                               ­                                                          But I'm just a guy
And I don't think that's good enough                                                      And I don't particularly stand out
Because I don't deserve a guy like him                                            I'm not one of her favourite characters
I'm not funny, or smart, or beautiful                                                        ­Nor a celebrity from her tv shows
And certainly not interesting                                          Because I know that I don't deserve a girl like her
But I'm happy just being with him                                         Who can brighten my day with her presence
Because he's simply lovely in every way there is                      And she's simply beautiful in every way

I'm okay
Those words are on repeat
Whenever I *don't feel okay
And I try to believe it
But in the end,
I realize I'm not
And never will be

It just kicks in
Without a warning
Like a storm during a calm sunny day
So sudden
It's something you can't control
And it's scaring me
It might be the thing that will **** me,
Not an accident
Nor sickness
Or a homicide
But a thought,
That's what will **** me
And I don't think I want it to

He smiles,
He talks,
He tells you his problems
While you tell yours,
He tells you sweet things
And stays up till 3am with you
But to fall for him
Is to fall from the sky
Because alas
He does the same
To other girls,
It's just a game
And it's certainly not fun
Because at the end
One's heart will be broken
And it will certainly not be his

Fate is so cruel
Took you before I realized
That I meant I love you more than as a friend
But I guess that's okay,
Because now you're on the other side
So please watch over me
While I live a life for both of us

You tell them "you're worthy to live"
But you spend the rest of the day
Counting your breaths thinking
You don't deserve it
And waiting for your last breath

You say "everyone's beautiful"
Yet you look at the mirror
And call yourself a monster

You tell those who are heartbroken
"You deserve better"
Yet you waste your time
Loving someone who doesn't even appreciate you

You tell them "Always love yourself"
But you picked all your flaws like dead flowers
And you despised each and everything about you

Why is it easy for you to say such good things and mean it,
But you can never see the beauty inside of you?

You used to be my sun, moon and stars
I felt like my world revolves around you,
But not anymore
You're simply just another person
Who I met and broke my heart

Nicotine and broken dreams
Lungs filled with nothing but smoke
While drowning in alcohol
Cuz darling, death is a friend of mine
And I've got nothing to fight for anymore
I'm lost in this labyrinth
Another night with you is all I ask
But I don't have the money,
Will a pack of cigarettes be enough for another night?

Maybe a hundred years from now
No one would remember
Who Cleopatra was
Or who was the first person to walk on the moon
And certainly
No one would remember
An insignificant being
Like *me

Books, video games, TV shows
For others it's only for fun,
But for me it's my life
Because I would rather spend my life pretending
To be a character with an amazing adventure
Than face this ruthless demon called *reality

A conundrum, that's what you are
I thought I understood you
But I was wrong
You were a mystery, even to me
A question without an answer
I thought you were my mystery
But I never owned you
Were I able to break through your walls?
Or did you just rebuilt them again?
I stretched my arms
But you never reached back
Did I really know you?