With you I couldn't offer much
I couldn't give you the life
you're so accustomed to
or the valuables
those material gifts
that so suit your lifestyle
the Haute Couture
that clasps to your body
the perfect fit to your
beautiful frame
oh the body of a goddess
one of mythical dreams
I'm far from any Monroe or Taylor
or any of the glamorous stars you so
mirror with such etiquette
I'm the girl sat in a cashmere cardigan
with chipped red nails, bitten to the skin
no make up and bed head hair
and I know that you are true
to all these things too
you're a person about personality
not mere possessions
you beauty is internal it glows
like the diamonds you sing of
stars in a sky of love
grandma Dolly's leather backed bible
hand written notes that carry your true worth
family values knowing without them
you'd be no where
and here am I, as poor as a church mouse
no worldly possessions
just me, myself and I
a heart
my loyalty
my love
a love for you more vast than all
land and oceans combined
each dollar in your pocket couldn't account
for the price of this love
a chance for love is all I crave
to love only you in every way I know how
a tight hug, a light embrace
a smile, a sparkle, a tickle of your thigh
oh what a distant obsession you have become
like a mist of Chanel Eau de Parfum
so intense
then fading into the background
my sheets, soul and skin
are still soaked in your scent
but you've gone, and taken part of me with you
leaving me broken, split in two
but as one,
not one with you.*

© Sia Jane

---

“Kiss me, and you will see how important I am.”
Sylvia Plath

When I met you I never would
have dreamed,
that I could fall and feel
as fast as I did
Your heart was an open shell
cracked, broken, echoing within
as I whispered to you
let me in
Your head so filled with
desires, dreams, hopes
your happiness mine
your love my love
It broke me inside when
realising how deep I loved you
knowing we could
never have, dreams filled
I cut myself open
to bare my soul
admitting to a love so
deep and pure
I feared losing you in all ways
fearing you'd walk away,
leaving me in abyss
covered in rubble and clay
Then you opened your heart
found words of
truth and wisdoms
setting me free
My heart remains yours
maybe it always will
through this all I'll always know,
only truths have passed
between,
you
and me.

© Sia Jane

---

“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it,
and the imagination to improvise.
The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”
Sylvia Plath

I haven't written
My inspiration squandered
Without her, my only muse
Words escape me
As my mind will only
Be occupied by her presence
And a war in my mind dominates
The place she once held
So beautifully, so gracefully
For all those months
And now she seems lost
Or more, I am forgotten
Light to dark, I am left
Saying goodbye has never seemed
So high and dry
I'm trying hard not to assume
And yet again, this war in
My mind occupies
Me even in the days of
Endless distraction
I'm ******* crazy
The city buzzes, crowds shuffle
Past me, in a dazed state
I look up, hearing her voice
I escape, I wander, I ride
Territory so familiar
I don't want to lose her
My muse, my love, my
Life source that keeps my heart
Beating, making me crazy
I love her
Three words of such
Worth
I feel abandoned carrying only
My heart, raw and exposed
Until it eventually fades
Knocking me out and
Forcing me
To start
Anew
But even concuss and
Bleeding, she's all
I desire.
Love please let me go
Unless she too
Wants me.

© Sia Jane

"A love like that was a serious illness, an illness from which you never entirely recover."

Charles Bukowski

Scatter the petals
Rose's dipped
in red paint.

Blow out the candles
That sparkle
in your eyes.

Softly let me go
Dreams repeating
a broken record.

Providing a muse
My love for you
set me free

Now I feel
Torn to pieces
from love undone.

Catch a ray of light
Shining into my life
high as a kite.

Euphoria leaving me
Drunk on love
self induced elation.

Happiness transcends
Through every bone
in my body.

Your music is my trance
Spinning in circles
my own MDMA.

My feet leave the ground
My prayers enhanced
molly beside me.

You're my small Chanel tab
Placed on my tongue
drug of choice.

Gaultier gown, Haute Couture
Icon of this past decade
femme de la nuit.

© Sia Jane

----

"You're better suited for making love than for making war. "  
The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie