Everything is getting so bad.
I am getting so bad.
It really is and I really am.
I have no motovation.
I just can't do anything.
I binge and I purge.
I'm using a cold blade to make myself burn with scars.
Again.
There is no home for me.
I sleep all day.
I've missed a dangerous amount of classes.
I need a job.
I have yet to process
Major things that are happening.
**** has been continuously hitting the fan
For seven years and
I just can't make it stop
And I can't catch a breath,
And the flashbacks are awful.
I just wrecked my thighs.
I don't want to burden anybody.
I know all I do is complain.
But it is literally me screaming for help.
And no one is helping me.
I'm up to my neck in my own mental disorders.
I'm drowning.
I really ******* am.
I walk around late night hope I'll get killed,
I stare at 163 sleeping pills every night.
I'm all late night binging and purging.
This is the ******* life.
I carry a toothbrush in my purse
And tell people I'm just obsessed with my tooth health.
I smoke to hide the smell of *****.
I'm drowning.
I'm desperate.
I'm drowning.
Why are strangers offering more help
Than the people in real life that I'm begging.
I'm an adult now.
It's no longer the fault
Of the people who raised me.
I have waited for this day to come.
The day where all of the sudden
The blame shifts to you.
I'm still drowning.
I'm dying.
I'm drowning.
I know I should stop cryjng for help
And just get it myself.
But I used up all my strength
I really did.
And I will be perfectly fine
With just dying.
I really would be.
I'm drowning anyway.
Might as well make it literal.

I can't breath.
I can't ******* breath.
I feel like I should be freaking out.
Like the
Kicking
Screaming
Lock me up
Because I'm going crazy
Kind of freaking out.
I just feel really calm
And ice cold
And slow
And shaky.
I can't breath though
I CAN'T ******* BREATH.
I can't
brea
th.
Please help me.
I don't know what happened.
I don't know what he gave me.
I don't know why it happened.
I don't know why I did it.
I am an awful person.
I CAN'T ******* BREATH.
It was so slow.
I can't
remem
ber
it
all.
I don't remember when he came back
In the room.
I really don't.
I can't remember
The point where he
I CAN'T ******* BREATH
Got on top of me.
He was just there.
I don't know.
I DON'T REMEMBER.
I was almost asleep.
WHAT DID HE GIVE ME.
I can't remember anything
With any detail.
I ALWAYS REMEMBER DETAILS
I CAN'T BREATH.
I don't remember it all.
I can remember the things he said
And I can remember where he
I CAN'T BREATH.
I CAN'T ******* BREATH.
WHY IS NO ONE COMING TO HELP ME.
started to **** me.
Why did I let him do it.
I DON'T REMEMBER THIS.
I NEED HELP.
I don't remember screaming.
I really don't.
I don't remember them coming in.
I don't remember all of the guys tearing him off me
And throwing him against the wall
And starting to hit him.
And Adam rushing me out to his car.
I don't remember hearing him scream in pain
As I left the room.
I don't remember falling asleep in the back of the car.
I don't.
I ruined my life.
It's all my fault.
I CAN'T BREATH.
SOMEONE ****
ING COME HELP
ME I CAN'T
*******
BREATH.
PLEA
SE.
I don't remember everything.
It just feels like.
I don't ******* know.
It's just so unclear.
There's one thing I do remember.
But I promise
I don't remember when I started to scream.
I just felt like I wanted to die.
I didn't know where anyone was.
WHERE IS EVERYONE.
I don't remember screaming.
PLEASE
******* SOMEONE.


I can remember him covering my mouth.
I CAN'T ******* BREATH.
WHY IS NO ONE HELPING ME.
I
CAN
'T
****
ING
BREA
TH
PLEASE
SOME
ONE
*******
HEL
P
M
E.