its like building a bridge.
step by step.
plank by plank.
person by person.
slowly you begin coming out:
to internet strangers
to work friends
to madisons
to close friends
and suddenly; it isn't scary.

my scars are faded.
I hate it.
I wish my scars could be permanent.
tattooed on my skin.
if my scars held more weight,
if they didn't fade after three hours,
I'd be satisfied.
nothing stays, ever.
everything leaves.

and when you consider leaving too,
just remember that
I would never
leave your health in the hands of a broken failure with a blade.

he claims to just be blatantly honest.
but he calls me lovely.
and compliments me.
and listens wholly.
and has extreme dysmorphia towards my weight.
and reads my poetry.
and compliments it.
and treats me as if I possess some sort of innate value.
and makes me feel secure.
---
was he lying about being honest?
or am I lying to myself about my value?

If I stay up
                     one
                            more
                            ­          minute
I will have
                     one
                            less
                            ­        minute
of sleep.

you smelt of cigarette smoke too often
and you asked me what I believed in
I said I believe in the way
my knees shake when they hear your voice
I believe in the way babies cry
when they see life for the first time
I believe in the way the sun
always rises in the morning
and sets in the evening
I believe in the way
my stomach becomes
so twisted and tangled
when your eyes entwine
like ropes with mine
I believe in the way
soldiers are sometimes
at war with their own mind
I believe in the way my head
starts becoming dizzy when
you talk for a long time
I believe in sons and daughters
finding their mothers and fathers
in graves they've never seen  before
I believe in the art
of leaving
and
moving pain
for the night to come so it can
hit you in the morning  
I believe in my bones shivering
to hear your name again
I believe in the type of love that hurts
                                                        bre­aks
and                                                 bruises
everything you thought you needed
I believe in the stars and
how they just are
you smelt of cigarette smoke too often
and you asked me what I believed in  
I wasn't lying when I said you
                             -(k.s)

I made you a mix-tape and called it leaves,
because your hair reminds me of autumn when they fall from the trees

I made you a mix-tape and called it snow,
because your pupils remind me of ice and where it grows

I made you a mix-tape and called it warm
because your smile reminds me of the sun and it’s yours to adorn

I made you a mix-tape and called it new
Because you remind me of the flowers that bloom.

Welcome to America
     Where education is top priority
                   With the exception of football

Welcome to America
     Where we believe in world peace
             We also believe in the biggest military in the world

Welcome to America
     Where all men and women are created equal
                 But being gay is the greatest sin

Welcome to America
      Where we like to make fun of everybody
                 Just don't call us fat

Welcome to America
       Where we love our food so much
                We've managed to make it fake

Welcome to our great patriotic country of America
          We might as well be the only country in the world
               Seriously, if it wasn't for us, the nazis would still be in power