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Elizabeth Kelly Sep 2014
It comes so naturally.

The nerves all saturated, ready to convene with that
sweet nicotine
after months of being clean.

It comes so easily.

No queasy feeling
no reeling
no rush

Just hush in the moonlight alone on the patio
the night the only witness
to my sad happy glow.

To the chemical calm.

To the insatiable qualm of a square in my hand
And fire in my palm.

It comes so suddenly**.

A quiet, intent lover.
It hovers above me,
uncovers a lost need.

It smothers my breathing, but I'll take the beating
for one more smoke.

A recovering joke.

I'll take the beating
And stoke the fire.
The sheep in me is bleating
as I succumb to desire.
Elizabeth Kelly Sep 2014
Funny how a small success
can make a large struggle
seem worthwhile.

The struggle pushes on your body
like the thousands of pounds of air pressure we endure every moment, adapted since birth when we were exposed to the atmosphere for the first time.

We've adapted so much. It feels like nothing at all.

And such is the struggle, a gradual acceptance,
until one accidental success -

a perfectly carved moment of zen designed to seal one crack in our exterior, to smooth an otherwise rough outline of the idea of your person.

One crack we didn't know was there until we look more closely.


And suddenly - we see - !


Are we made up of billions of cracks,
of shattered thoughts and ideas,
dreams and plans and places and bandaids over the wounds that never really healed?

Are we scarred beneath the flattened affect of the I'mFines and the Don'tWorries?

What a shock, then, when you finally discover the one smooth graft in your otherwise undetectably shattered self.

Oh! The elation!

One small, well-placed celebration
The seed of a new foundation

Can you declare a body unfit for inhabitance?
It's time for total renovation.
Elizabeth Kelly Sep 2014
The clouds

lift

with a perspective shift.

Accept the gift.
Elizabeth Kelly Sep 2014
The music washes over me
wave after wave

And the noise of life
is drowned beneath the wall of sound.

The crowd is restless
But I am rooted, directly connected,
undiluted.


The music washes over me
wave after wave.

My blood and bones exist for this
electric current
as my body buzzes and pulses inside

The moments speed and slow
with the flow of the tide.

It ebbs and rolls
with the soul of the ride

And I am rooted, directly connected,
undiluted

as it washes over me,
wave after glorious wave.

Who needs a god?

I am saved.
Elizabeth Kelly Sep 2014
I've got my feet
to carry me

and my legs
to stabilize.

I've got my arms
to embrace whatever comes my way

And my hands,
to hold onto that which inspires me.

I've got my face
to turn toward every challenge;
to challenge every turn.

And I've got my heart
to house me when the weather is bad
and there is no where else to go.

I've got my brain
to present me with options

and my mind
to present me with decisions.

And above all,
I've got my soul.

With its infinite complexities and contradictions,
it is the glue that holds the pieces in place.
It is the curiosity that asks the questions
and it is the bravery that accepts the answers.

I've got my soul
to carry and stabilize;
to embrace and hold on;
to accept and challenge;
to comfort and protect;
to ponder and decide;
to ask.

To answer.
Elizabeth Kelly Aug 2014
There were some roses, once, a long time ago.

They grew out of nothing, out of a tiny seed that burst and ****** its contents out into the new and terrifying air, and even then they didn't exist but for the idea that one day they might.

There were some roses, once:

the product of a process that included water and light and the removal of weeds and the implementation sharp protection from predators: deer and birds and squirrels and the like.

There were some roses once:

great surges of crimson fruit that bloomed so fiercely in their rebellion against the surrounding thorns
dedicated to the protection of the home of the finely spun veined silk that blossomed almost overnight.

There were some roses once:

Never has such beauty been guarded so staunchly;

and with good reason, for the rose in its radiance has but one short season to stretch its arms and breathe its perfume to which all lovers beg and swoon.

There were some roses once:

They faded,
green
then red
then crimson
then purple and umber.

But in their slumber we see the bloom we once beheld on that summer day.

We fondled their petals, hastened their decay.

There were some roses once, a long time ago.

They had to die, as if on cue, as living things tend to do,
and oh, they dried so elegantly!
Plainly meant for royalty.

And even in their most brittle form, they're somehow warm
Somehow still new.

So you plant some more, you cut the weeds, you draw blood on their thorny guards,
knowing that it's not for you, but for the birds in their back porch churchyard.

And the moment the first rose peers around from inside the womb, well
there's your reward,

to forward the growth of something so fragile and sweet.

So ruthless if you aren't aware of its teeth.
Elizabeth Kelly Aug 2014
There's a horse who is primed for battle. She's been broken and saddled, muscles hard and keen, her frame is lean, she's got all the necessary means to carry destruction into the heart of the fray.

But. She's afraid. She dreads the day.

There's a child who is primed in playground. She's been beaten and shoved down, she's been left to bleed, the teachers are too late to intervene. And she waits for the day for them all to pay.

But she's afraid. How couldn't she be?

There's a leader who is primed in sovereignty. She's been brought up high society with a sharpened gleam, smart and mean, quietly she gathers steam. With the tools to rule, she waits for the day to carry the horse to heart of the fray, to make them pay, to make them all pay.

But she knows the game, knows how to wait.

And still the world will twirl in its hate.
Until it needs a leader who's great.

She'll rise like the cream to the top of the pack, and pick up the slack, and possess what they lack.

And finally grasp the ultimate power!

To rule. To instruct. To provide the anchor for the ones who were broken and beaten, afraid.

And she'll heal their wounds, for she knows their pain.
Fair leadership. A rare phenomenon.
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