One day there was a boy
Who saw a pretty girl
She had warm Autumn hair
And eyes of blown blue and green glass

The boy knew he had to introduce
Himself to this small girl
So he walked right up to her
And started to sign his words

His hands flew through the air
Nervously trying to say hi
The girl nodded her head and pulled
Out the pen and paper

And at this old coffee shop
They spent hours writing away
Words started to rush together
And sentences turned into paragraphs

By the end of their chat
She wrote a number below
She received unlimited texts
And wanted to see him again

Love is funny that way
It bends and breaks rules
It twists into different shapes
Sounds and smells

Love is ready to do
What it takes to make it work
Even if one person cannot
Work their own vocal chords

The sky looked down on me
It was ashamed
I was blinded by
My emotions
And could not look past
The smog
To see
Every
Single
Star
"I tried!"
I yell at the sky
The sky does not care
Failure is unacceptable
And the sky wraps around me
Surrounds me
And grounds me to a single point
The vertex of infinity
Where it feels strange to be
Alive
I step out of my body
And into nothing
And the nothing steps back into me
Like a great cascade of cold and blackness
I am replaced with emptiness
And my body flees
I am left
Standing alone in the field of memory
I see everything that can be
That will be
That has been
That is
That mustn't be
I am shown the truth
The truth that inscribed unto every grain of sand
Is all of time and space
That the faces of all the people of your past
Can be found
Within the skin of an acorn
That all the things you will accomplish
Are written as a list
On the tip of a needle
I am shown that everything
Runs on a universal code
That everything
Can be
And will be
Written over
By whomever holds the marker
I walk through the field mildly
Paying strict attention at first
Noting the worst
And the best
Of memories
But then I freeze
And fall to my knees
Because I see
I see what I have searched for for so long
The memory of me
It is marked with charcoal
Edges smudged
On the corner of a
Small
Gray
Rock
And I know
That it is because I have not
Seized the day
I have not stopped and smelled the flowers
Nor brushed past them on a mission
I have simply been
And been content with simply being
And my memory in the grand scheme
Would fade as easily as a page
Let burn
I grabbed a chisel that was strength
And a hammer that was conviction
And I carved my memory unto
The largest boulder there was
And when I threw down the bottle
With its rag halfway reaching for the flame
And halfway hiding in the kerosene
And it smashed on the field
Everything burned
Everything was erased
Except for my memory
Carved on the largest boulder
And the sky smiled
For it knew that I had now realized
The true nature of its
Disappointment
Come, child
I must take you home
There is much to do
"You're ****** right there is"

I don't quite know how
You knew but you did
I was about to cut up
When you calmed me down

You called me asking if I
Was fine, and I whispered
"I'm not" into the phone
And I started to cry

Thank you for knowing

Remain Star
Never Susan
Always Star
Or I might
Cry

A mind like mine
Doesn't need Much time
I like to jump right in
Take the consequence later

Bit I knew with you
I'd have to wait
And that's okay
Just hard.

And yes
Finally I got it
What I've been waiting for
For your trust

I won't hurt you babe
I hope you know that
I couldn't hurt you
Your too special

But last night
When I held you
I didn't want to let go
It felt so right

Come on, I said
As you pulled away
I looked you in the eye
While standing in the street

We brushed cheeks
And as our noses meet
So do our lips
And it was right

You apologized
For being so awkward
But baby girl,
I love your awkward

Even if it was half a second
It meant more to me
Than you'll ever know
I promise

Because in that moment
In the middle of the street
You kissed me
And I knew you could trust me

When I was little
I would stare up at
My mother and think to myself
That's what I want to be when I grow up

I wanted nothing more than
To become my mother
Who tucked me in
Kissed my scrapes

Who nurtured me
Brought me water when I was
Sick and sang me to sleep
And who told me how strong I was

Little did I know
That moms are dished out
Their own servings of problems
But my mom was different

She was served piles of
Left overs and week old bread
Water unfit for a dog
And dessert was scarce

Later I learned I was the dessert
So was my father
Though he was more sour than others
She didn't care, she loved it all

But as I've grown older
The piles of unfit food
Are tumbling down
Right on top of me

My mother's food labeled
Bipolar, depression
Anxiety, self harm
Body image issues and so much more

More than one person should
Be dished up, more than
One person can stomach
Too much for the plate to handle

The plate is cracked, chipped
Used, with a residue still blanketed over
And we've learned our eyes are bigger than
Our stomachs and we attempt the plate alone

But you can't handle a full course meal
If you're stomach is so small

I've learned that even though
Doctors label my mother
Crazy and unstable
I still crave to be her

Because she's survived through
What seems like everything
And she is not only alive
But my mother is living

Maybe not the way she imagined
But she still tries to make
The best of each day
She does so much with so little

Yes, I still want to be my mother
I want to be strong and brave
Kind and nurturing
I want to be everything she thinks she isn't

Because she is my everything

It's the night before Christmas
The night is tonight
The house is dark
Except for one light

The light belongs to a lamp
Of a small Boy
Who stays up for Santa
To bring him joy

And on this young lad's wish list
Is only one thing
The item a name
A name with meaning

The Boy does not sleep
His heart drums in his chest
For hope that one person
Will come home from the west

Boy watches the time
Tick away on the clock
Minutes turn into hours
Boy's stomach sits like rocks

Next thing he sees is
Is the sunrise set in
Boy gets up to wake his mom
His face holds a grin

He drags his mother down
The cold wooden stairs
The railing smooth under little fingers
Boy stops and stares

Under the tree
Are boxes and bows
The Boy's stocking is full
And is hanging heavily, low

The Boy frowns and doesn't budge
His mother nudges him along
They sit down and open every
Present, which took very long

By the end the boy was near
To tears, his cheeks puffy
His mother petted his hair
Which was Brown and fluffy

Her tears spilt over her eyes
She bowed her head and said
"I am so sorry I can't give you what
You want, I am so sorry Ted

But daddy is over seas
And we'll see him sooner than you think
I promise he'll come back from war
I'm sorry I'm so weak"

The boy cupped her face
In his tiny hands where
She'd been crying and whispered
"But mommy, daddy's right there"