I was lucky
to have that once in a lifetime
feeling. .
that most probably never get the chance to
that feeling where time stops
and immortality arises
where nothing mattered but now
I just wasnt lucky enough
to keep it.

weak

im so ******* weak
i dont want to be weak

i need control
i need discipline
i need i need
someone to hold me and love me and touch me

please?

i ache for someone
but it seems like no one is aching for me
except maybe the demons in my head

and thats the thing,
i still love him.
i really do.
i love the way his cologne smells.
the way he fidgets when he gets nervous.
the way his eyes are so, so beautiful.

but, i do not feel the need to
go past your door anymore to catch your
attention.
all i need to do is sit at my lunch table or
hangout with another teacher for you to
magically come in, flustered and handsome,
for you to make a conversation with me.
and thats it, huh?
all i ever needed to do was to
tell you i was happy for you
for you to realize that you need
me in your life as well, just as
much as i need you
in mine.

i can see it in your glances
at church and in the
way you smile at me
when you pass me by or
in the way your voice gets
lower when you
speak to me.

do not hide your love for me,
its highly illogical and all it
does is wear the both of
us out.

sweet dreams darling.

I'm just an adolescent,
I can't change the world
For I am a complete catastrophe,
A fail,
A self absorbed human being.

I have been dismantled,
Often wretched with over emotion,
And am in desperate need of a friend.
Some one to understand me
And help me to be completely euphoric.

I can be materialistic and love diamante,
I am engraved with personality,
I AM NOT FAKE!
Pale white skin not bronzed,
I just want to add gloss,
I'm not a barbie.