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 Feb 2014 Elise
Jay
I've dreamed about her.
Her boots left at my door,
leaving a trail of fabric
and innocence behind her.
A trail of breadcrumbs
where passions burned through the floor.
I can still taste her lips as she
pushed me back a little closer to
the headboard.
And I wonder if she can still
feel the warmth of my skin where
I pulled her a little closer.
We fell asleep watching the dancing shadows
on my ceiling.
But, I woke up to find that
the sun had washed all of those shadows
away.
I think I'm done writing for a while.
My words don't  flow like they had before.
I'm going on hiatus.
 Feb 2014 Elise
Muggle Ginger
C.P.R.
 Feb 2014 Elise
Muggle Ginger
When you press your ear to my chest
Checking the life of my heart
I hope you can hear
What I was too afraid to say
"I love you," killed me
Because nothing is worth dying for
Quite like love
We're all going to die
 Feb 2014 Elise
RA
2:AM
 Feb 2014 Elise
RA
I need your arms wrapped tight
around me and your face pressing
into my shoulder and
your smell filling every molecule
of the air around me, permeating
my lungs, because 2 AM
is when my demons come
out, and I know that if you
cannot keep them in, as
you so often do, you will
at the very least fight
valiantly by my side.
February 14, 2014
2:00 AM
edited February 23, 2014

ER BW GL BH SR
 Feb 2014 Elise
hkr
don't talk to me like her
like a fragile little girl
who wants a fairytale
talk to me
like you're running on an hour of sleep
out of breath
running late
talk to me
like you can't be bothered
and i promise you
i will love you forever.
 Feb 2014 Elise
Emily
Obsessions
 Feb 2014 Elise
Emily
The first thing I noticed about you was how sad your eyes looked but I could never admit this to anyone because it sounds so Teen Cliche, doesn’t it, and you were sad but you were a million other things -- and my God do I hate it when people become their sadness -- but the honest truth is that your eyes drew me in from across the room and you looked like your heart had been broken and i am like Saint Jude in that when I see a lost cause I want to nurse it back to health. I thought this was one of my better points but looking back, it’s a stupid thing to do. let people be broken, let boys with sad eyes be sad, I tell myself now. It’s better for you. You were an *******, that’s for sure. You made me insane. You made my blood boil. You ******* killed me all the time and I thought I loved you. I was crazy back then, of course I still am and I have a note from a psychiatrist to Prove It, but I was crazy in a different way then and my jealousy was like a fever that ran through me all the ******* time. I had a dream about killing you, did you know? It was the second- or was it third? or fourth? time you cheated on me and flaunted it and I couldn’t sleep for hours but when the sobs finally left my chest I dreamt about ripping the muscles from your bones and plucking your eyes from your sockets and maybe you’d be proud of me because you always were a bit of a sadist. I think everyone has heard this story a thousand times before and I think most people can sympathize but that doesn’t make it one bit easier but I wish it did. When it’s a song everyone knows and can sing along to I actually get kind of mad because hey, no, it’s my story and I want it to myself. I want to feel different and special because i am an entitled teenage girl and that’s all I really want, im a baby and a child and i like being infantalized and i have ******* daddy issues but i don’t like to admit it because i want to be protected but i don’t want to be seen as weak. I know im childish and selfish but I’m allowed to be as long as I keep it to myself and it’s my own little secret because most people just see me with my smiles and empty eyes and there doesn’t seem to be a lot back there. You knew I was insecure and selfish and more like a little kid than a well-adjusted teenager but you said you loved me anyway. I remember now that you also told me a thousand times how much you loved my body and if I count the days since we met that’s like 3 times a day so you’d think i would believe you by now but i don’t because it was all a lie a lie a lie you lied to me about everything you lied to me about ******* megan but you did, you ****** her in a dressing room two days after you said you loved me again and when you told me it felt like having my heart ripped out because i was either in love with you or just ******* obsessed with you and i still can’t tell the difference.
 Feb 2014 Elise
RA
cracks.
 Feb 2014 Elise
RA
Two people cannot run towards each other blindly
without colliding at some point, maybe breaking
each other just a bit, cracking all the boundaries
we have built for structure and protection in this
confusing world. I understand that you need
a bit of time, to teach yourself to either become
watertight again, or to at least appear so, or maybe
to live with these small vulnerabilities. So hey,
I'm opening my eyes. I'm not running, unseeing, at you
(r core), anymore. Take your time, take some
air, learn the feel of you(r walls) once more. I'm
walking carefully, now, feeling my way around
the painfully invigorating reality I couldn't see
before. When you are ready to see me again, I will walk
to you, and meet you halfway. Until then, I
am just waiting. And that's something I need
to teach myself to do, too. And that's
okay. I know that if I see you again, our eyes will be
clear, and our smiles honest, and our fissures healed, or just maybe
they will have become another essential opening, to let
the other in.
February 16, 2014
4:19 PM
edited February 23, 2014
 Feb 2014 Elise
gg
Haunted
 Feb 2014 Elise
gg
your fingertips brushed up my bare back
you wrote poetry up my spine,
placed commas in the spaces between
my vertebrae

there are always certain places
to avoid after a breakup
because they remind you of lost love

I can't look in the mirror anymore
because I see you all over me
I will probably make this part of a much longer poem later
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