it is an ache that does not seem to dull. you will wonder everything you did wrong. when you see him around you will avoid eye contact. you will still watch him from afar. suddenly you feel his arms around you his chest against yours. but now he’s nowhere to be found except in your memories, your imagination, and your camera roll. you were once his confidant. now you are a blocked contact in his phone. even if you have not crossed paths in months, he will still cross your mind from time to time. you remember his cat. that awkward thanksgiving dinner at his grandparents’ house. you remember his new girlfriend. and then you remember how he said you were the only girl he has ever loved and would ever be able to. and you remember his middle name. you remember his favorite drink- dr. pepper no ice- and you know what you did wrong and now you’re writing sad poems about him while listening to sad songs not about him but they could be and the lyrics remind you of what you had. the ache has not yet dulled. you can’t help but remember him when you look at the jar of pennies on your desk.