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e l l 2d
i long to be like a tree
to shed all my burdens
watch them descend to the ground
below me
shriveled and dead
i am barren of baggage and *******
i am free
i long to be like a tree
e l l 2d
if i write a poem about you
you are either
doing something very right
or something very wrong
e l l Apr 1
it is an ache
that does not seem to dull.
you will wonder everything you did wrong.
when you see him around
you will avoid eye contact.
you will still watch him from afar.
suddenly you feel
his arms around you
his chest against yours.
but now he’s nowhere to be found
except in your memories, your imagination,
and your camera roll.
you were once his confidant.
now you are a blocked contact in his phone.
even if you have not crossed paths in months,
he will still cross your mind from time to time.
you remember
his cat.
that awkward thanksgiving dinner at his grandparents’ house.
you remember his new girlfriend.
and then you remember how he said you were the only girl he has ever loved
and would ever be able to.
and you remember his middle name.
you remember his favorite drink-
dr. pepper no ice-
and you know what you did wrong
and now you’re writing sad poems
about him
while listening to sad songs
not about him but they could be
and the lyrics remind you
of what you had.
the ache has not yet dulled.
you can’t help but remember him
when you look at
the jar of pennies
on your desk.
e l l Mar 30
a royal blue ocean
turned black by veil of night
the lighthouse stands alone
on an island made of rock
and moonlight spills
onto everything below
shiny, dark waves
rush onto the shore
e l l Mar 30
nature is full of honesty
like the ring of age
when you tear down a tree
e l l Mar 30
you were
seventeen with
deep brown eyes
and a warm complexion

play me a song that
doesn’t consist of
your lies or
disregard for my emotions

tell me i’m pretty
then say that i’m fat
make up your mind
and play me a song

strum the strings
but don’t use your words
it just sounds better
when you’re silent
e l l Mar 29
your mother once told you
girls don’t always know
what they want
and she’s right

when i saw you for the first time
i wanted you
i loved your look, your charm

i had yet to learn about your
hatred (for yourself and others)
irrational fears
and manipulative nature

you played hard to get
and hurt me
before it even began

i have a bad habit
for liking things that
destroy me
(you, nicotine, among other things)

i chased you despite the hurt
i chased you
to get past your facade

you warned me, i will admit
you tried to deter me
but i was your enigma
and you were the apple of my eye that warm august

i fell into love
quickly
and out of it even faster

and every time i tried to end things
you begged me
stay
you said you would change

you never did

your only ambitions were
the army
and to own all the pure copper pennies circulation

i never liked that

i want the world
i want to be something
and you want
pennies

don’t force me
to love you
please

it’s old
and i know we both like vintage
but this ‘romance’
is untastefully outdated
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