Elijah Master

Elijah Master Jul 2014

Untitled

Immersed in a pool of pain
Head underwater
one forgets what oxygen is
Its a morbid kind of funny you know—— how long someone can drown for
that after a while one forgets that one is drowning

Elijah Master Jul 2014

Untitled

I look in the mirror and I see a ghost
"Who am I?"
i Ask the ghost
The ghost shrugs and turns away

Elijah Master Jul 2014

Untitled

I’m afraid of the silence
because the silence is not silent
there are screams that don’t need to produce sound to be heard.
they howl in my brain
emotion trying to rocket through like steam from a hot tea kettle.
The pressure builds up
inside of me,
but the release,
the relief,
is nowhere in sight.

Elijah Master Jul 2014

Untitled

I feel inside out.

As if the inside of my flesh is exposed and vulnerable to the outside world,
susceptible to people and circumstance who poke and **** as they often do- perhaps to test resilience.

Well what if I don't have the strength to endure?
What if it wears on me? drains me? kicks me around?

What if i don't want to get back up after I fall?
What does that make me?
Weak?
Un-stoic?
loser-like?
sensitive?
vulnerable?
tired?
apathetic?
finished?
socially suicidal?
in denial?

If i resist so much and close down so much and let my world shrink so much until i back up into the tightest corner that existence will allow,
until i resist life itself and contemplate death as a alternative to "living"

who am i after the image i've strived to maintain ever since i was taught to upkeep one is utterly obliterated?...

When I'm stripped down to my most basic layer of inherent humanness

who am i?
Who am I!?

*WHO THE **** AMM I!!!???

#existential #questioning #introspective #breaking-through

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