Tricky how memory plays tricks
The present hides things
And like some prodigal son of myth
gently wakes me up
on mornings such as this.
Naked, I stood above
naked in flesh, bone and stars
naked in my fragility and scars
you kept your eyes closed
awash in sensation
like half of you- asleep
dreaming away nights
as we shivered under this night sky
as I drew circles
tracing patterns on your skin
Plunging into my own thoughts
together, I am alone.
Secret words lead to secret thoughts
I would've wanted you
to read them aloud
to see the truths hidden
in the silence, in the dark.
Those nights,
each dance
that left my throat hoarse
from laughing and screaming
haunt me, still.
It still makes me want
to crawl under your covers
and smell your skin.
What is it that you ask of me
When the only way I know
of loving is this
It comes out
in short, intense bursts
like sunlight blinding your eyes
Are you afraid to burn, to bleed?
Are you afraid of me
because I bring out the demons in you
I talk with them, laugh with them, love with them
Because they are a part of you
as you are a part of me, too.
If you decide not to love me anymore,
then
Don't look at me the way you do
Don't give me secrets for me to keep
Don't keep coming back
branding me with hot kisses
until my entire being is aflame,
alive.
Don't come back
and remind me of the smell of leather
and how caramel would taste like on my tongue
Don't smoke my cigarettes
wondering what my lipstick would taste like
Don't show me any more kindness
I'm comfortable taking them from strangers
Don't bury yourself in my hair
You may not come back alive
Most of all,
don't remind me
of the first time we met
of star-spun nights
and how you never forget
the ones that make you bleed
I write in the blood
until these words
fade and turn to dust