Recently I started letting the tears fall

Standing in my closet
I cry

Sitting in my car
I cry

Writing by the river
I cry

Driving home
I cry

Sitting on the sofa
I cry

I don't know why

I think my body is trying to let go

I am the shell of myself
My young body aches
And my soul falls out through my mouth
My eyes are never dry
And only moments away from bitter tears

Why do years mark us so much
And why do I hold on?
When I know it must feel better to fall
And rebuild myself

Into someone strong

I used pain to create

But why now

Do I house pain

And offer it a bed

I hate to think

that all your words

don't lead back to me,

but instead,

lead back to her

What can one expect from age?

What can one expect of age?

What in this world can one expect at all?

"The possibilities are infinite"

But my motivation hides under the blankets,

Like my ticket to ride is just around the corner,

But even the corner does not come closer,

and I am yet to move.

One night in the middle of a fight he asked me
"El, do you think we'll be together forever?"
He stopped.

We have never returned to the question.