short, sweet, the girl you probably want to meet she, keeps, it, real, in the sheets, sometimes tall, sharp, the girl you won't meet because she won't give you the time of day she, oh she really keeps it real, you see, she, is not real, but she feels real
in the depths of my mind you do not exist at the forefront of my mind you exist...occasionally in my subconscious I feel your presence and when I am unconscious, we are one
the most intense poetry you will ever write comes from the words that never get published and instead get erased by your blinking cursor yeah that's right...beauty gone in the blink of a cursor
It's what you really want to say it just never made the cut
maybe this is why we're all numb because our real feelings never make the cut
we chop and erase and blend things to fit our sick agendas but then again I guess this is me just stating the obvious
I drifted as you once did that night When you felt nothing but you felt everything I sat there in mute understanding. Now you're not here I guess I should drift? Who's going to save me? I drifted, I was so close to the edge. Your truck barely staying on land, tipping away every so often. The tipping increased My eyes shot open, suddenly drifting wasn't so good or was it. I was in your place. Did you stop me that night? Did you watch me in mute panic and understanding? Did you achieve your goal of turning me into you?
can you compare yourself to a train cause when you think about it life runs like a train we run like trains someone usually controls us watches us we have a set path that we choose or is chosen for us we can take lives and our paths can be altered sometimes we can go wrong or be delayed sometimes we forge friendships and sometimes we help with escapes occasionally we carry out crimes unknowingly but most of all we keep moving maybe we stop for a while but we always keep moving
Coping with the loss of someone comes with indescribable pain and it's sad because life will always go on
That just makes me want to hold onto the pain even more because thats the last thing on this earth that let me know you were real and that you existed and that you were in my life.
I don't want to forget about you ever, I don't want life to go on and forget about you
But I have to let go and it's sad it's really sad I can't do it I loved you so much How can I live and how can I cope when I'm so used to seeing you everyday and now there's just nothing when I wake up there's just nothing
I hate that one day you won't have existed anymore The show will go on It waits for no one
I don't even want to be part of this show but like i said we all end up getting roped in somehow - I'll try not to forget you I'll try so hard
my old friend, Im not sure much has changed what else did i expect from myself? from life? from others? i don't know i-
there's so much i want to say but at the same time i find myself silent i find myself zoned out seeing the curser blink every so often
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why am i always hurting why does it always feel like i'm on the other side of everyone else why am i always begging it feels like everything that i want demands my blood, sweat and tears and even then it's not enough, i still don't get it i mean **** it, i don't even want or need half of what i want i just why does everything feel so difficult for me???
we would never lay a finger on eachother but we still wake up with bruises i mean just the other night i found the pattern of your ring embossed in my skin but i'll swear to it, i am whole and have never been hit
there are cuts on my back, deep scars in my gut, but i have never been hit
there are stab wounds in my heart but i swear I have only ever been stabbed in the back
the list goes on but i'm still baffled why is my body so broken why does my heart cry why does my brain deceive me
people have hurt me with their words but i thought my body was stronger than that i thought i was stronger than that i thought i was impenetrable i thought i was wearing armour
did it fall out along the way? was it just aluminium foil instead of titanium steel?
did i do this to myself? are my questions hurting me? who is hurting me? do i deserve this? should i fight back?
I thought i was fighting... I'll try to keep going but just a warning i might give up but i'll try for you
i have put my life and soul in to this piece i dedicated my life to this how dare you ruin it come in and criticise it My life's work what i put every fibre of my being into
Imagine if you could send your thoughts to someone in little pulses of light so when you think of them and you think about words but you can't form them into a coherent sentence fit enough to condemn you these little light pulses could say it all
It doesn’t even hurt to break now I’ve lost all feeling in the places where I’ve shattered and been put back together
and now even if I break more And shatter into tiny, minuscule, incomprehensible pieces It just wouldn’t matter at this point And that’s why it doesn’t hurt
Maybe it’s not a bad thing To be spared from more pain But it would be nice to feel something sometimes Even if it is searing hot pain
i am grey and as for black and white, they always tango around me battling for dominance but they forget that the tango isn't that kind of dance
they throw each other around instead of moving in harmony
but i am harmony i am the perfect balance that exists between them
they ignore me and they will keep going until they self destruct so i'll watch them from the shadows until i fade away...until i am nothing but a whisper on their lips