Lust, lustrous....lust....lost

restless and just craving relief

I'm just so complex I find it hard to hold on to the understanding that I have of myself

just **** me up
i need it so bad
to feel burning pain turn into blinding pleasure

my favourite part of a movie is when the character who's been through a lot walks through a dimly lit city scene or a park alone just thinking about everything and music is playing in the background and it's kinda sad but at the same time they know everything is going to be okay

when you're just walking around, contemplating in such a busy public place you suddenly find yourself aware of each step you take and each breathe you take.

You can feel the cold air fill your lungs and you kind of smile at the sweet memories and you know that despite everything, those memories will keep you alive.

But the pain you feel is intense, it can blind you and suddenly you can't see where you're going anymore. Life doesn't feel real and before you know it, your heart is on your sleeve for the world to see.

soft whispers of rain,
hard thunders of sun,
calm animals,
crazy humans

i just wanna be your *****

I have so many thoughts but sadly I have nothing to say anymore
I am mute and numb
Yet I still feel

-

Regretfully I still feel

The biggest lie I ever told myself was that I didn’t need anyone
That i had myself
That I was enough for me
I DONT EVEN HAVE ME
THERES NOT ENOUGH OF ME
INHAVE BEEN SLOWLY FADING AWAY
I AM FADING

and it sounds scary right. I guess it is but I can’t feel the fear
I am sinking, in a sea that swallows me
It’s getting darker
I’m not even aware of the surface above me
So how can I break through? No
I don’t want to break through
I can’t
I shouldn’t
-
I am sinking
I am fluid
Life is still, not peaceful
but still
My eyes are closed and I’m floating
Barely there as a person
-
Though you see my body that the sea has swallowed
My soul has dissolved

i dream of having a piano in front of me so my fingers could dance across the keys instead of my neck

this isn't what I wanted at all
-

i feel like one day you just become an adult and you have no idea what to do with a life that you really didn't want
as in the life that you live isn't the one that you wanted
what do you even do with that? because I feel like life really isn't what you make it
life happens no matter how much you try to shape it

-
I guess i have no real idea about what I want
most of my life has been spent knowing what i don't want as if that ever made a difference
-
there are only a few moments in my life where I can confirm I have actually been alive
but mostly I think about the fact that I just exist, just like a lot of people, just like everyone actually

I listened to strange music at the back of my history class when I was 12 and now I'm brain damaged

I think my wasted potential is really a heartbreak
I have so much to give to the world but nothing useful wills to pour out of me
I feel frozen

I don’t know how to unlock myself at all

we need a reason to create art

It’s the soul that you bring to the table :

The tide was unforgiving, so all I could do was watch...

a moment passed
and then there was nothing

We got different stars and stories...but why is that such a bad thing?

Time is so cruel

people make me feel so empty

Turn your pain into money

Just stay close to me
Don't make a sound
And I promise
We'll never have to run
Ever again

You don't know what a person feels inside

i'm a very happy person
i'm just frustrated
that doesn't add up
haha ain't nothin positive about this

I feel like we never truly age, the child inside of us just waits and bleeds

but /Never mind
LIFE WILL GO ON
IT ALWAYS DOES
I HAVE NO CHOICE
BUT TO GO ON

COME WITH ME
WE CAN SURVIVE
WE CAN DO THIS
TOGETHER

take my hand
stay with me
never let go

i want more

You feel on fire
Electric

You burn
Dark and fast
When you hear my voice

And I
I can’t breathe
When I hear yours
Because you remind me of all the times I sinned
You remind me of the dark me
The worst parts of me are in you
And when I see you, ****, those memories wash over me
Slowly
The flames lick at my body
Teasing
Threatening to destroy me

But I’m naive
You have a way of corrupting me
And all of a sudden
Like magic
My hate for you turns into white hot desire
Burning deep into the night
We’re on fire
Burning together so deliciously
Yet we try
Try so hard to put the flames out with our tears

It’s been so long
And we’ve never succeeded...

you wished for so much and you got it

i miss myself

i feel for you, i really do but sometimes i need you to feel for me too

Is perception a form of injustice?

it hurts like a ***** it really does
but i persevere and bring the light back into my eyes
to shine bright for myself so i never lose my way

if you catch me with my tongue on my teeth, don't bother looking at me twice

What is your fantasy?

One day I woke up and I was afraid to live

I want to be free

I just
I feel
that I can't
and That I won't
have to
anymore.

pure raw and unfiltered emotion

looking at the shattered tea cup on the floor feels so familiar
do you think if I reached out to touch it, that I would feel a gentle caress on my own skin?
-
if I swept it up
and heard it drag across across the floor
would I make a sound? what if I moaned ever so lightly?
how would that make you feel?
-
and if I left the shattered pieces to just lay there
would you pick them up?
I imagine you standing over them
towering, with your 6ft frame
-
I know you would see the beauty in the mess
you might smile
you might bend down for a closer look
maybe you would even touch me
of course you would
-
maybe I would ask you to
maybe I would beg for you to pick up a piece
maybe I would scream for you to clench your first around it and feel the stabbing pain that comes with blood flow

-
in the hallway of our minds place lays a shattered tea cup
and in the palm of our hands lays a piece of it
and in the gaze of our eye is one another
and the only name on your lips is mine

I've lost sight of what's important

Tell me who you are

I want fantasy