Turn your pain into money

I just
I feel
that I can't
and That I won't
have to
anymore.

Controlled by my desires

The biggest lie I ever told myself was that I didn’t need anyone
That i had myself
That I was enough for me
I DONT EVEN HAVE ME
THERES NOT ENOUGH OF ME
INHAVE BEEN SLOWLY FADING AWAY
I AM FADING

and it sounds scary right. I guess it is but I can’t feel the fear
I am sinking, in a sea that swallows me
It’s getting darker
I’m not even aware of the surface above me
So how can I break through? No
I don’t want to break through
I can’t
I shouldn’t
-
I am sinking
I am fluid
Life is still, not peaceful
but still
My eyes are closed and I’m floating
Barely there as a person
-
Though you see my body that the sea has swallowed
My soul has dissolved

I want to feel warm again
Like everything is okay

this isn't what I wanted at all
-

i feel like one day you just become an adult and you have no idea what to do with a life that you really didn't want
as in the life that you live isn't the one that you wanted
what do you even do with that? because I feel like life really isn't what you make it
life happens no matter how much you try to shape it

-
I guess i have no real idea about what I want
most of my life has been spent knowing what i don't want as if that ever made a difference
-
there are only a few moments in my life where I can confirm I have actually been alive
but mostly I think about the fact that I just exist, just like a lot of people, just like everyone actually

i wasn't thinking about you
until you told me to

it's the truth
and i know it hurts

but there's so much beauty in pain
so i envy you

i wish you could me hurt the way i hurt you

I listened to strange music at the back of my history class when I was 12 and now I'm brain damaged

S for say
say something to me

it's called emotional cleansing, look it up

do you remember that time you became me for attention?
can you teach me how to be myself again,
it's alright if you can't
i guess i'll just have to reprogram myself,
but the only issue is
so will you

So what's it gonna be?
are you in or out?
because if you're not in,
i'm walking out the door and taking myself with me

I know there's someone out there who can see what I see

I want fantasy

Tell me who you are

I've lost sight of what's important

if you catch me with my tongue on my teeth, don't bother looking at me twice

I feel like we never truly age, the child inside of us just waits and bleeds

it hurts like a ***** it really does
but i persevere and bring the light back into my eyes
to shine bright for myself so i never lose my way

ever write something that made you feel breathless by the end of it?

Did I lose myself
or did I gain you?

What is your fantasy?

One day I woke up and I was afraid to live

Always, it'll always be you
Always, for now

i feel for you, i really do but sometimes i need you to feel for me too

i miss myself

i dream of having a piano in front of me so my fingers could dance across the keys instead of my neck

This feels like home

He said goodbye
So why didn’t you wave?

going straight on airplane mode to just stare at myself in the mirror because I look really quite cute tonight.

I feel like i have something interesting to give tonight, just no one to give it to

we need a reason to create art

but /Never mind
LIFE WILL GO ON
IT ALWAYS DOES
I HAVE NO CHOICE
BUT TO GO ON

COME WITH ME
WE CAN SURVIVE
WE CAN DO THIS
TOGETHER

take my hand
stay with me
never let go

To Autumn by John Keats

this year i learnt that the more you avoid something, the faster it hits you
it comes into your life wrecks everything and moves on to the next person
it lives the life that it wants to
and watches yours fizzle away
we exist so that it can live
maybe i should turn the tables?
make a sacrifice?
if i don't exist, it can't exist

nothing can exist by itself
things come in pairs
one thing cannot survive without the other
so beware
i'm coming after you with fiery vengeance

long lost lover and soulmate
we never got close enough to touch
but you marked me forever
-
i still think of you
it fills me with guilt
and just when i think of reaching out
to taste you once more
i feel apprehensive
-
i sigh with longing
-
i wish we could live how we always said we would
but all i can do
is wait for someone purer

Time is so cruel

I look good in the red light

watching her fall down the metal stairs
step by step
from across the street
was odd

her blood stained hair looked kind of purple under the flickering street light
hm
i think she'd look better with blonde hair
it'd really bring out her eyes

the kind of writing that really effects me and makes me feel is writing how i am in this post. talking like you are speaking and just saying anything casually not thought for. it's almost as if i'm truly speaking to you through this website

Just like lightning

i've never quite met a mind like mine or yours but i've met many of hers

one day we'll see the stars

I'll always walk down a path if it is inviting
I cannot be blamed for that