God why does this hurt so much

looking at life through a lens is comforting

Keep me warm on a cold night

when i stare at myself in the mirror
i get lost in my eyes

i'm just
such
a
pretty
girl

do you remember that time you became me for attention?
can you teach me how to be myself again,
it's alright if you can't
i guess i'll just have to reprogram myself,
but the only issue is
so will you

So what's it gonna be?
are you in or out?
because if you're not in,
i'm walking out the door and taking myself with me

i could fall for you

Lonely for you only

The spaces between the glass are not equal

substance abuse
acting obtuse

Love *****
I mean I don't even know if this is love
This my problem
I've never been in love
Maybe I have
I don't know
People describe it to me
They say 'trust me you'll know'
But I don't think I will or can ever know
I don't think I'm built to differentiate between real feelings and fake feelings
I don't know what I'm feeling towards you
But I get this sad feeling when we aren't talking
When we aren't with eachother
I guess that's love
Or some twisted version of it
I guess I'll just have to settle for it
And I wish
I just wish
That I could say all of this to you
And more
And I know that life's too short to hold back
But some part of me
The cautious part of me
Tells me to think twice about what I'm doing
If I open up to you, what's the worst that could happen?
But I can never read you
I never know WHAT to think
I never know what you think
I don't want to feel like this
Weak, vulnerable and needy
I don't want to feel like control is not within my reach
Be mine
Forever
But *******
******* for making me feel like this
For hating every moment since you've been in my life
******* for making me feel this way
I'm weak
Pathetic
I thought I was stronger
UGH
I've never been the girl that sat around missing a mans presence
But I guess fate has its own way of getting revenge
Maybe I just feel too much
Or just feel too deep
Or think too much
But I'm so detached at the same time
So distant
So complacent
Maybe that's why I'm so confused
Maybe that's why I'm just not so sure anymore
About anything
About me
About you
And about us
If that even exists

I want to see inside of you
Every last detail
I see something in you
Funny
Because at first I didn't expect it
I thought you were pretty average
It turns out
You're pretty cool
And the best part is
I don't even think you know it
I don't think you can see what I see
But what if it's just me
What if it's my warped vision
Trying to convince us both of a lie
And hating you for telling the truth

First time I saw you
I just knew
I just knew...

I needed you to love me

the words scrawled in capitals on the yellow piece of paper bit me

I'm growing tired of living multiple lives

Tonight

I don't want to give up

im just trying to live a different life

my dearest A

I grew up to be sinful and it's so hot

I've got so many more tricks up my sleeve and baby i'm just firing them out now

I want to feel warm again
Like everything is okay

it's almost as if i saw myself in the screen

Stone cold
Broken bones

Empty guns
Soulless and numb

Too far gone

No more rehabilitation

It's time for retribution

I just want to slip back into it

all i can feel is the change within me
and not much else really

And in the end, nothing will ever matter

Love...Love...Love
i need you so much
i already have you
but i need more

what do i need? I need a different kind of love
a kind that i've never tasted

yeah..that's the one
the kind that keeps you awake at night in wonder, scared that it'll leave you

because you love it so much
the feeling
the person
the life

you love it so much
the life you never thought you would love

Love me? forever and always?

her bedrooms walls were covered in drawings
and you thought they were made by a sweet little kid
the way they were carelessly scribbled out
but those drawings were not that innocent

they were drawn by your daughter on her darkest nights

look a little closer

the
drawings
are
not
as
innocent
as
you
think

i know just what my eyes look like and i can't even see myself
hell i can't even picture myself
i'm lost in my own wide eyed yet heavy lidded glare

attraction for attractions sake

i say writing is one of my ultimate passions and i'm always called out on my ability at English when i'm at college and people who appreciate my work but i struggle to get what's in my mind out and it's the worst struggle ever i mean i'm not exactly shy of expressing myself in fact i might sometimes overly express myself so what's the problem here?

Controlled by my desires

A form of creation craves creation

new picture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i see your hands as a tree
your fingers being both the branches and the roots
the foundation and the being
your veins, the bark
blood, tree sap
my skin on your hand
soil next to a tree

If you can't beat em, destroy them until you can't join them, because they simply don't exist anymore

He used to tell me I was young fire

<3

Did I lose myself
or did I gain you?

We have traced every line
On this map
And as I lay here
I'm yet to care

Prisoner of freedom

He said goodbye
So why didn’t you wave?

Lust, lustrous....lust....lost

S for say
say something to me

im seeking something, always searching for that one thing that's is right in front of me

I'll always walk down a path if it is inviting
I cannot be blamed for that

I'm just so complex I find it hard to hold on to the understanding that I have of myself

soft whispers of rain,
hard thunders of sun,
calm animals,
crazy humans

my favourite part of a movie is when the character who's been through a lot walks through a dimly lit city scene or a park alone just thinking about everything and music is playing in the background and it's kinda sad but at the same time they know everything is going to be okay

when you're just walking around, contemplating in such a busy public place you suddenly find yourself aware of each step you take and each breathe you take.

You can feel the cold air fill your lungs and you kind of smile at the sweet memories and you know that despite everything, those memories will keep you alive.

But the pain you feel is intense, it can blind you and suddenly you can't see where you're going anymore. Life doesn't feel real and before you know it, your heart is on your sleeve for the world to see.

restless and just craving relief

i wasn't thinking about you
until you told me to

it's the truth
and i know it hurts

but there's so much beauty in pain
so i envy you

i wish you could me hurt the way i hurt you