Fake love

Poetic revolution
**** yeah
Purely untapped emotion

i have invented a way to pause life

you ever crave success so much that you lose the will to work sometimes?

Sometimes the sage just awaits the answer from providence...

Give it a name
Make it real
I know you want to feel it

Feel it running through your veins
Liquid Terror

The angsty teen I grew up dreaming to be

But I hear things sometimes

And no one knows where the noise comes from

But

As  

The wood floors whisper

I start to whisper

why have we stole glances at each other for a year
a whole year
what is your name?
who am I?
why do you come as close as possible,
clench your jaw,
and look into my eyes?
odd
just another figure looming in the background of my everyday

We must both like the chase,
A lot

why can't night time be forever

C O N V E Y

Mary Mary quite contrary....

learning that marriage is sometimes like a horror film is hard
You learn it the hard way
Sure there was a an alright environment
But the truth when it was revealed was enough to crack the strain
The injustice that in the moment everything is plausible
But when you look back and realise your mistake, all you can do is apologise
******* go back in time, grab your past self and scream, scream as much as you can because it'll be silent because when you return from the past you'll revert back to old ways. Marriage is hauntingly beautiful and I guess it's just sheer luck

Momma says "cherish the time you spend with me,
Cherish the time you have left with me"

God why are you always in the forefront of my mind. you're so temporary but you just appear to be everything. I want you, sexually, of course. I'm lax with commitment and just a little apprehensive of it since i get bored easily. i want you to be the one. i only catch glimpses of you but this time that's not my only indulgence or limit, i now have a means of communication with you and it's so frustrating. i'll miss you when your gone, i miss you, i miss you every day ugh to be continued

Blood
Little scarlet drops of life
cut cut cut
a little deeper
feel the life come and go

talk to me

faces....how many do you have?

each move that we make, is that deliberate?
each desire that moves us, is that what we wish for?
each question that pushes us, is that what we care for?

i don't want us to ever grow apart

bout to suppress these emotions

Used to look up to the sky
not anymore
i'm one step closer \

****** you but I ****** someone else

every time i’m happy I think it will last forever








but it never does

why am I doing this to myself
why am I doing this to my mind
I can't help it
could you?
I should say something
but what's the point
with you?

-

closer
closer
closer
closer
closer
closer
closer
closer
he said
come closer

always looking over my shoulder
always keeping an ear free
always opening the window just so I can breathe

did you ever wake up and think, i'm going to paint my lips today, i want to sugarcoat them x

please tell me how i've managed to forge a connection like this with you
i'm just screaming on the inside
funny how i don't even know whether im talking about a person or a little habit i can't kick
whatever you are
you make me feel empty, intoxicated, and completely willing to give myself over
a little tilt of the head, maybe i'll throw in some empty eye action
and just hold myself, my arms draped across the most sensitive parts of my body
at most, caressing my neck

I need to talk to somebody about you
you spread through my entire being
until i am nothing but smoke

In the ancient, lives tragedy

To autumn,

You make me feel warm, the glowing type of warm y'know?
Not as warm as I feel in winter though
Nothing compares to the harsh heat of winter
It's a delicious kind of heat that burns our throats
It's a heat you can feel inside of you because you need the heat so much...i know you do
So autumn even though your heat is short lived I'll still welcome you with open arms, and love you like you deserve to be loved
but just know i'll always be faithful to winter,
it was my first love after all

and i will never be

the day i stop having to explain myself may just be the day where i finally breathe in contentment
restriction restriction restriction
i feel trapped
only free to move within boundaries
no explanations
no responsibilities
i just want to create
and do
and make
go out there
independence
i'm working with what i got but i don't need
3 years well nearly 2 to wait....or so help me

Everyday I ask myself
What can I want
When I have everything

"So we beat on, boats against the current..."

A feeling of elation
When you think back to old memories
We all love who we used to be
It makes me smile
And the people that I used to be around
It makes me sad to live in the past
But it makes me even sadder to live in the present
And just half sad when I think about the future
Because the future is always better
But it's sad sometimes
When you know that one day
The future will just be another sad present

The book was left half open
The dream was only dreamt for half a night
The conversation was left unfinished
The thread unravelled
But....the thought of "what if" continued
Don't forget, don't make 'halfway' a habit
For halfway never gave way to anything of worth

i hate emotions
i spit on them
it disgusts me
especially when i cry about it like a little *****
these days i'm so shaken from the core
my foundations  have been rattled
by who, by me
these feelings have left me conscious of my breathing
i can't manifest what i want to write into words
it's all ******* coming out wrong
-----------
do you ever feel a certain way, so much so that to convey it seems impossible
like you've reached an impasse

Happy birthday to me.....

I'm perfect and content in my world
But I crave the taste of another's
I'm comfortable with my own conflicts and pain
But nothing's as fun as inflicting conflicts on another person
And making them uncomfortable

Wait
What am I saying
I thought I was changing for the better
How could I be so casual about this
I forgot
I have to be normal for just a little while
So I guess I'll stop walking
And exit this forest
But I'll be back
One day
And I'll
Miss you little fox

music seems to push ideas to the front of my mind yet i hate that
music irritates me to no end
the fact it can change my mood and get me to act in a different way
yet i can't see myself going a day without it
i guess it just keeps my mind and thoughts alive and running in some specific way

i've lost my touch

Close your eyes princess, you don't want to see this

I start to internally scream at night?

I've learnt that the harder you try, the harder things become

Why did we have to get even
It's not like we ever gained control of a situation that has always been imbalanced
It's not like we will  

Why does it take me over
The urge To become someone I hate
Destruction
It rips everything apart
I
Rip everything apart
But it feels so good
Especially when I feel so bad
I like feeling this alive
Makes me question
If
I'm really
Dead