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Sep 2018 · 88
seesaw
S Sep 2018
i've decided i want the new me
i don't have to forget about the old me just to create a new person
i can just make the old me even better
it'll take some work
but i know it will be so worth it
Sep 2018 · 96
a new hero
S Sep 2018
it's getting closer
-
it's almost time for me to finish another chapter in my life
-
i lost myself and found her all over again
but i'm not allowed to hold onto her forever
-
it's almost time to let her go and become a new me all over again
-
she's supposed to be better...shinier
-
i don't have much to complain about i guess so i'll say bye to her in a couple of weeks
Sep 2018 · 122
i live
S Sep 2018
i love it when i can't breathe
-
those moments spent trying to breathe are electrifying
they make me feel alive when i forget that i already am
S Sep 2018
where are you now?.....what are you doing?
S Sep 2018
long lost lover and soulmate
we never got close enough to touch
but you marked me forever
-
i still think of you
it fills me with guilt
and just when i think of reaching out
to taste you once more
i feel apprehensive
-
i sigh with longing
-
i wish we could live how we always said we would
but all i can do
is wait for someone purer
Sep 2018 · 75
Self control is a bitch
S Sep 2018
We always betray ourselves
Aug 2018 · 136
I'm the only exception
S Aug 2018
it hurts like a ***** it really does
but i persevere and bring the light back into my eyes
to shine bright for myself so i never lose my way
S Aug 2018
but i'd miss you
and as cliche as it sounds
i'd cross those oceans even if it meant i dissolved in them somewhere along the way
and thats the sad reality of life
Aug 2018 · 96
to finally be left alone
S Aug 2018
if only distance worked
i would put a thousand oceans between us
but i learnt a long time ago running away from your problems never works
even if i'm staring out into no mans land
i'll know i'm really not alone
you'll be there to haunt me

and in a sick world full of a romantic poetry
maybe that would be seen as something good

but in this sick world where it's hard to be lonely
i have to beg for solitude
so that i never have to hear a loud noise again
Aug 2018 · 97
angry
S Aug 2018
rage just consumes me like a poor beggar on the street who hasn't eaten in years
Aug 2018 · 140
*
S Aug 2018
*
i wasn't thinking about you
until you told me to

it's the truth
and i know it hurts

but there's so much beauty in pain
so i envy you

i wish you could me hurt the way i hurt you
S Aug 2018
grey rooms and pink thoughts
if i believe in my thoughts
maybe i could paint this room pink forever

just for me
and i could visit this room forever
Aug 2018 · 103
sweet
S Aug 2018
i love the way eyes shine
so bright
even when they shine with tears
it's so cute

i get lost in my eyes
so chocolatey and bright
Aug 2018 · 101
la la land
S Aug 2018
surprisingly I'm back for more
i have nothing to write today though
im in a good mood

dancing feeds the soul
and good music

it corrupts your heart too
so be careful
-
i'll keep smiling though
Aug 2018 · 124
c'mon texas, hold em
S Aug 2018
i'll play by the rules if you want me to
but that means i get to keep that chip on my shoulder
-
don't look into my eyes
you won't find what you're looking for
i buried that deep inside of me
-
do my hands shake?
my poker face gives nothing away
but my body always betrays me
-
open your heart for me
i'm your queen and i'll play you so well
-
want me to open my legs for you? just let me win
-
victory never tasted so sweet
Aug 2018 · 101
+
S Aug 2018
+
she lives in shades of pink
cute as a button
but hot on your lips
S Aug 2018
he gives me life when he breathes so heavy right into my neck
S Aug 2018
did i do all of this for you..or did i bleed for myself?
was it pointless?
did bloodlust really leave me that blinded

feral, driven and desperate?

I should feel ashamed
but it just feels so good to bleed
Aug 2018 · 110
-
S Aug 2018
-
opening this **** laptop up is like opening pandoras box
Aug 2018 · 118
i guess it would feel scary
S Aug 2018
i wonder what it feels like to have an empty head]
to just sit there like a mindless and pretty doll
oblivious to the human feeling of buzzing thoughts
Aug 2018 · 87
ouch
S Aug 2018
the joy of life is so brief
like the pain of a whip
S Aug 2018
and what is life for me?
i don't know yet

i guess i've always known what it could be
i just haven't decided
S Aug 2018
Love...Love...Love
i need you so much
i already have you
but i need more

what do i need? I need a different kind of love
a kind that i've never tasted

yeah..that's the one
the kind that keeps you awake at night in wonder, scared that it'll leave you

because you love it so much
the feeling
the person
the life

you love it so much
the life you never thought you would love
Aug 2018 · 88
pout
S Aug 2018
I just wanted to be pretty for you...
was that not enough?
Aug 2018 · 90
flashbacks
S Aug 2018
It hurts to breathe
but it's so delicious
this toxic feeling is indescribable
but i want to keep chasing it
it feels so good


but i don't want to remember that day
Jun 2018 · 92
you know who you are
S Jun 2018
forget about me
Jun 2018 · 96
face it
S Jun 2018
the most intense poetry you will ever write comes from the words that never get published and instead get erased by your blinking cursor
yeah that's right...beauty gone in the blink of a cursor

It's what you really want to say
it just never made the cut

maybe this is why we're all numb
because our real feelings never make the cut

we chop and erase and blend things to fit our sick agendas
but then again I guess this is me just stating the obvious
Jun 2018 · 105
I don't know why
S Jun 2018
I'm a free soul bound by something divine
so tell me why my face is pressed against this glass window...yearning?
yeah I can't move mountains but that doesn't mean I can't take a leap of faith..right?
so tell me why I watch life pass me by...yearning

12:04..time is slowly killing me
but I'm so **** stubborn
******* father time
just like that busted up shop sign that flickers
I'm here to stay
Jun 2018 · 144
-
S Jun 2018
-
I grew up to be sinful and it's so hot
Jun 2018 · 95
stay
S Jun 2018
I'm coming back but for something different this time
I'm still me....but I want more

What do I want?

I'll let time tell you that
Feb 2018 · 120
listen to the rain
S Feb 2018
there is so much beauty in our pain
Feb 2018 · 102
her life in a few words
S Feb 2018
we would never lay a finger on eachother
but we still wake up with bruises
i mean just the other night
i found the pattern of your ring embossed in my skin
but i'll swear to it, i am whole and have never been hit

there are cuts on my back,
deep scars in my gut,
but i have never been hit

there are stab wounds in my heart
but i swear I have only ever been stabbed in the back

the list goes on but i'm still baffled
why is my body so broken
why does my heart cry
why does my brain deceive me

people have hurt me with their words but i thought my body was stronger than that
i thought i was stronger than that
i thought i was impenetrable
i thought i was wearing armour

did it fall out along the way? was it just aluminium foil instead of titanium steel?

did i do this to myself?
are my questions hurting me?
who is hurting me?
do i deserve this?
should i fight back?

I thought i was fighting...
I'll try to keep going
but just a warning
i might give up
but i'll try for you
Feb 2018 · 92
just wait
S Feb 2018
but i can't live without you
S Feb 2018
we tried that old trick
where you seal a crack with gold

you're lying to yourself
it doesn't look pretty

you're lying to yourself
it will never last

so maybe it's time to shatter things into pieces
and go our separate ways




p.s it's funny how you all will still believe that sometimes things have to fall apart to come together again. Think again, those pieces will get swept up and discarded in a lonesome and destructive landfill site. Get real before life forces you to...
Jan 2018 · 110
I felt something
S Jan 2018
It was intense sitting across from him but I mirrored his position and stared back into his eyes with the same intensity

I had to look away a few times
But so did he

I’ve played this game every day since I discovered who I really am
You may think you’re a challenge but just try me
S Jan 2018
suddenly she turned her head and there it was, the sun shone brightly and the trees swayed gently
She knew life would still be ****** up but at least she’ll get through today
S Jan 2018
it's almost as if i saw myself in the screen
Jan 2018 · 117
/
S Jan 2018
/
she is the life we all deserve
Dec 2017 · 136
but you just don't get that
S Dec 2017
i feel for you, i really do but sometimes i need you to feel for me too
S Dec 2017
a cry for help is the only cry that is never heard
S Dec 2017
i just want slash and stab this empty vessel that I call a body
rip out my guts and end it all
choke on my own blood
and finish myself once and for all
S Dec 2017
silent sobs left her shaking until she slowly faded away
S Nov 2017
do you remember that time you became me for attention?
can you teach me how to be myself again,
it's alright if you can't
i guess i'll just have to reprogram myself,
but the only issue is
so will you

So what's it gonna be?
are you in or out?
because if you're not in,
i'm walking out the door and taking myself with me
S Nov 2017
i've reached rock bottom,
i think i need a little help getting out
but i don't have a single soul that could help me

i should stop wallowing
i mean, what's the point of crying over loneliness when i could piece myself back together
that would mean i don't need a single soul....
right?
i could live in piece(s) with myself and 9 others who go by the same name but could never resemble me.
Nov 2017 · 115
I’ll be good to you
S Nov 2017
The lights look so warm in the distance...
I’m trying to grab them but can’t you see they don’t want to be held?
Nov 2017 · 89
Lone wolf
S Nov 2017
and now i can't breathe because she's all i can see
WHY GOD?....WHY ME??
I know all she wanted to do was sit by the sea.
I admit it, I failed, but even you could see,
how could i have taken her to sea,
when she was afraid of water?

Would you have punished me if i dragged her there against her will?
I thought i was doing right, but apparently not.
and now i'm stumbling and tripping over these stubborn knots that I tie every night just to keep sane and make myself feel like i have no loose threads hanging over my head for fear of a noose swooping down and taking me
so God if you're listening,
save me
before i choke on this word ***** and my sins that threaten to bury me.....save me
S Nov 2017
His eyes are shutting, his mind is spacing out and his body is shivering.
These tremors are no joke and they all seemed to lose hope when his eyes rolled back and he slowly started to fade away.
But nothing is as it seems, funnily enough this was really no overdose, just a man who lost hope in the moment...just like you.
So at night when you sit and ponder, spare a thought for him and lose yourself in wonder...that is before you go under,
and it's too late to repent.
Nov 2017 · 91
Untitled
S Nov 2017
You set my soul on fire
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