He smiled weakly
and offered up
this
"I'll be dead in 5 yrs if you don't come back"
he said it was a love declared
and couldn't see why I was scared

not dead yet
you haunt me
still
thoughts of you
against my will

a curve of green
stems
in a brown
jar

Hazy beams of sunlight
laced with bird song
signal morning

It's kind of weird
I must admit
tho I've enjoyed
our close
it's also burnt
the honesty
has been a
toxic dose
we've laid bare souls
got it all out
this close is not
as put about

Sun and wind airbrush
cracked concrete
indistinguishable
from baked earth

constellations

frozen
yet
moving

under
you
i
am
crushed

your
fires
flare

i
see
them
not

i wrote you a love poem
it came straight from my heart
i wish i hadnt given it
cos now we're at the part
where instead of showing pleasure
or giving me a kiss
you say that it's a good one
might well be a laundry list

had been to a wedding
a lovely affair
many humerous people were there

all through the night
we danced and we sang
throughout the rooms much laughter rang

home the next day
my emails i read
sorry said dad your sister is dead

love
unraveled
the sleeve
i wore
my heart on

visions...
are they that?
or is it your brain
teaching you what it's learned
while you weren't looking

moilandtoil

then

into the soil....

i wish

i could make of my scars

fresh wounds

to scab

flake off

and finally heal

Prayers are something
we do on our own time
the answers come
in infinities time

her
harsh
wounded
outbursts

masquerading as laughter

clothed by the sun
i walk in joy
moontides
ebb

floating in neverland
she takes on new
winged form

dazzling
bright
translucent
in flight

to close
to the sun
her wings will melt

it will

come

as a bit of a shock

i know

but

out of your ****

the sun

does
not
glow


you

can labour

the
point

till i

get up and go

but

arguing

never

made anything

so.......

from inside a shell
a few drops of ocean

pearled on my kitchen table

minute flecks of sand
many hued

golden
rose
and brown

daddy dear
getting all fired up
over the loss of a certain brand of whatever he likes
86
and this is it

Full moon
frosted grass
silence

time
stopped

then dawn
and birdsong

i want to

whirl
like a dervish

dance
like a breeze

                         above            
              high      
levitate                        the trees    

sing
like
rapture

swim through the stars

show the WHOLE world

this
love
of
ours

you bring yourself
into the room
your ego follows
all too soon
you feed it till
it swells and grows
and pretty soon
it's all that shows

Each
perfectly
enounsed
syllable
spills from her lips
and drifts down to the floor
rustling like dried leaves in the corner

Words are only
a vibration
of the air
however bitter
they leave
no trace

when i walk a coastal cliff

face i want to wedge into

the eye socket gaze

out to sea forever

become
weathered

like the rock

summer heat

sparse lawns

unhappy looking

flowers end

why give voice
to nonsense words like
normal
average
love
and truth
none
of which
are any use

illusions shattered

mirror shards

scattered
rending

self
image

hard

casual
but intense
relaxed
but exciting
a man of his word
who listens to mine
the possible
and the impossible
all in one
why do I dream
at this age
maybe that's all
there is

if i run
as fast as i can
maybe
i'll outstrip reality
and trick it
into rearrangement...

even cells

in a petri dish


excrete waste

im not sure which
horrified me the most
the fact that
at aged 54 he
wanted to  “get”
a teen aged girl
or the fact
he thought
he could

sometimes
                            
when i look up
at
the sky

it
has a depth
an
inwardness

that makes
me

feel as
if

im              
    falling
in  to
it

internal
eternal
eternal
internal
never
ending
struggle

ragged clouds race

fleeing the storm they bring

lightening shimmers

distant thunder cracks

dollar sized drops smack

cement wet smells

Fog
like grey gauze
singed by fire

The sun shines
as brightly
as undashed hopes
casting pale gold light
across the lawn

i dreamed of winning you
with my charms
i dreamed of lying
in your arms
i dreamed of how
our lives might be
but dreams are not dreams
when they become
reality

they are
your
loves

your
infinite
loves

those first
fallen into
young loves

mine
comes
so late

a torn
old
love

dirt
real

but
still

star kissed

A little flurry of snow
just blew past my window
wouldn't you think
the weather would know
It's spring.....?

i am dying
and you are dead
and this is not
inside my head
we trod the boards
took the applause
now it is time
to close the doors
bow out stage left
decline encore
give breath
to life
not any more

i wish
i could
just grab you

come and take you by the hand

run off to
a
beach
somewhere

trail toes
through pristine sand

waves
the only sound i hear
filling up
my
head

upon days end
the
perfect close

sunset
beach
pillow
bed

different paths we tread
pull us apart
too far
for common ground

sometimes

the gulf between us
yawns so wide
i feel
we cannot touch

sometimes

different speeds we travel
to get to the same place
seems to take us
in opposite directions

sometimes

when i hear your voice
or see your face
all pain recedes and
nothing matters

she's putting the last of her juice
on the page

he's treating the world
as if it's his stage

both telling the other to
                                               go

act your age

their lives not a play
but a buried one page

your right up there
with the sunsets baby

full moon bright
and i dont mean maybe

hold me tight
.... ....   ....  ....  ....  .  


its just another friday night

no
revelation

is only
the struggle
                                         towards                                  light

im in mourning
didn't even see it
dawning
why do I
do this every night
and wake up
feeling
full of
.............

one of the sad aspects of my parents relationship is
they constantly disagree
on things they should let go
as long as i can remember
they've done that
only now they're almost dead
are they at peace