one of the sad aspects of my parents relationship is
they constantly disagree
on things they should let go
as long as i can remember
they've done that
only now they're almost dead
are they at peace

we've
      run
        through
                            all

our possibilities


         circle
come       full
        back


as much the same

                                                                        as differant


        s
          p  
        i
          r    
      a
          l
            s
   wiinth
    s
        p
     i
r
a
   l
      s

infinity

supreme
ironist

i thought

offered me
no answers

merely
hollow
laughter

then
i realized

i was not
asking the
right
questions

and impatience ruled me

there are answers
given
if
you are open

and empty of self?
  
sometimes i wait
like a vessel
on the beach

the tide washes in

ceilings are what we are
nothing more we kid ourselves
you know that despite what you write
which is to yourself anyway
altho you don't listen

god how i loathe them

those beautiful
          dead
          insane
          female poets        you so Adore...


they touch you in places

i feel

i cannot reach


how i wish they would rise from the dead
                      
become ugly
               sane
               inane

im not sure if you want to **** them

or become them

both
i think

closed minds
shut

like
slammed doors

and you
may as well
both be

on foreign shores

in winter
the earth becomes
hard & mean
won't allow my summer flowers
even stops
the grass green growing
making months
out of hours

to be in love
is
as big a deal
as

the ocean is wide and
the sky is
deep

it takes me
to
the
moon

makes
me
mellow

sometimes it's  extraordinary

often
very
ordinary

only in
a place
of absence
can i
be here

what does the sea know
what does the sky know

eternal indifferance to all they know

what do you know
what do i know

nothing of what they know

Irony
love comes
this late
do i care

spear
lodge
lumps of metal
aching

a lake of gold

pools

on the ground around

my golden elm tree

sunrise and sets

of gold who is

as rich

as lucky me

like children

wepush

each
others

boundaries

both
bruising


we remain

all the love poems
I wrote for you
you didn't throw away
I never sent them

what is it
this thing we do

trying to paste pieces of infinity into scrapbooks

as if we could

yet somehow...

i've
dreamed
of

jumping freight trains

and

althoineverhave

i
stay
on
the
wagon
of
more
than

one train

they                                          
           ­                                  go


                                      in

                  ­                                                             all


      directions

Love is not
the burning storm
it once was
a light
flickering
in the distance
extinguished by
times indifference
only
beyond lies
the chance
of quiet space

if you take ***
out of the equation

areourexchangese m p t yormeaninglesschatter?

or a commingling of ideas

energy sparks

we are
of the earth

but we are also of the heavens

Jack frost
commits
beautiful ******
burning corpses
to black

dawn

no longer rescues

me and the full moon

mock

these are just words
i fling up on paper
sometimes in ink
sometimes in blood
and sometimes

in prayer

fear sweeps in
a tidal bore
no escape
that rising tide
drowning daily
much too far out
all my life

we
skin on skin
slippery
sliding
all the way
to
over the top
collision
little deaths
a tangle of limbs

all caught up
in looking at the world
in wonder
a child
does not see
ugly

how does it come to this after everything we've been
so many things i thought i knew
now realize
just seen

"For I have spent eternity bringing you a gift"
Neither the oceans
nor the stars
can equal this
I cannot give you my heart
my soul you already have
seeking a looking glass
i look at myself
remembering

i'm just as trapped
by love
as you
what the Hell
are we going to do

sometimes
thinking about doing something
can be almost
as tiring
as
doing it
;o)

i am giving up desire

to break us

out
of
madness

we will run through its halls

like children

watched over
by

ourselves

you think
i haven't
already seen
our history

you never wanted

it

to be me

always looking

to infinity

to
provide
the
girl

you
thought

was

she
?


younever­wantedittobeme

i wish i knew
what was dragging you back
to old habits
and times
not shared

the moon

a pearl

on
deep
velvet
blue

i'm dying and i know it
don't have the time to talk
however here i am
instead of going for that walk    
the trees blow in the wind
it sighs thro leaves of gold
i wish i had the strength to stay
too sad too tired too old

I've talked this relationship
into the ground
but still
I cannot bury it

let me

sink

in
to

the

abyss

i looked up some old poets here
and noticed they have gone
ive also done an absence
myself
not the only one

we come here to
exchange a thought
ours spirits get renewed
I wouldn't feel quite this way
if your poems i hadn't viewed

waves sigh
    across the sand

I come here
and scribble
telling strangers
what they don't ask

when we touch

it's like a death

all the possibilities

in the space between us

die

she spends her life painting

out her existance

on
fake
faces

the brain
is
such a mysterious creature
involuntary
extrodinary
anything but
ordinary
why is it
such a separate thing
from "me"

you

whittled away so much of

me

to get

the shape you wanted

now cry

at the pieces

cast
down
on

the floor

you

got what you wanted not less but


“ more ”

sunset

orange breakers
roll across eastern skies

nothing begins

or ends

in
life

and what is


                                                                          far
                                                                           away


isnexttoyou

his poems
an ocean
to dive into
and
become
to leave them
i feel
beached

trying to

hold onto

what

was never grasped