i'm so ******* sick of this
i want to give up
i want to slash at my skin
i want to blow my brains out and have you watch
i want to hang myself from the ******* front door
i want to lay in a bath of bleach
and scrub away with kitchen scissors
i want to bang my head over and over in the mirror
let the shards tear away at my face and **** me up
and throw myself off the stairs
and snap my ******* neck in two
i want to swallow all the ******* pills in the cabinet
and
rip out my hair
i want to slice my thighs and create a map
maybe then you'll find me
help
i'm a ******* disease and i'm beginning to consume my health
where the **** has my sanity gone
these thoughts are running rampant in my mind
and i can't ******* shut them up
SHUT THE **** UP!
LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE!
GET THE **** AWAY!
i'm sick of myself and
i
just
want to
*******
give up

you write of love
and
i write of sadness

two worlds i hope can collide

*i want your love to bury this sadness

I thought we were something real
I thought you would be the one
and
I though you said I was safe?

yet,
I'm laying here all alone
while my demons attack me relentlessly

while my scarred skin is bleeding once more and aching with pain

while I'm grasping at my body so I don't fall apart.
I need you and you never needed me
and
I'm sorry
I'm sorry for not being good enough
I'm sorry for my scars
I'm sorry

I finally gave you what you wanted,
I gave you me.

and like I knew in the beginning,
and discovered in the end
lost, sad little me
wasn't worth it