It seems as if everyday I struggle to love myself. It goes beyond the normal, everyday insecurities; it feels as if I need to hurt myself, to tear away this ugliness and hurt.*
I look in mirrors and hate the reflection I see. I want to shatter and break away this distorted image staring back at me. I can’t look at myself without sadness and hate creeping into my lungs, without breathing so shakily because I’m trying to hold back my anger and disgust. I can’t look people in the eyes, it would be so easily for them to see the scarred and overly-large eyed lost girl that I am. Somedays I don’t know who I am at times other than an ugly girl with no hope.
Somedays, I feel okay. I feel as if I can get through the day with a bit of pride, and other days-like today- I want to ******* scream and claw and away at the loathing I feel inside.
*Somedays, I just want to be beautiful and loved