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Under my burdens I do fall
My knees are scraped,
Most times, I can barely stand
The bags under my eyes and my spirit weighed
By too much to carry
My body wary
 Mar 2014 Edward Alan
Faith
slender fingers
point animatedly
at a pale face.
"you,"
he says,
"you are beautiful."

electricity pulsed
throughout me,
and a beautiful memory
was etched forever.
 Mar 2014 Edward Alan
casey
Untitled
 Mar 2014 Edward Alan
casey
I kissed him,
and for the first time
in a long time
tasted true sadness,
a depression brought on
by
e m p t i n e s s
         a young boy
            watching his father leave
                 for a trip,
                      a trip lasting sixteen years
he'd watch his dad leave
through his windows
waving as he watched,
I'd imagine at least.
1/3
It was the labels.
  ....
They started this war.

Realization of what is and was never.
Forgetting what is not and once was.

Coloring the shades in between black and white,
only to erase it all at once.
A blank paper to symbolize 'start'
Black may be 'the start of end'


I feel the words of labels disappear.
Meanings
gone.

I see my care to understand this low,
I find my care to find out grow.

Where does my joy go?
Only 'he' above may know.
If only
...
does 'he' know?
Random lololololol Idk im sleepy. Night night
 Mar 2014 Edward Alan
ARI
Little Ben
 Mar 2014 Edward Alan
ARI
I sat there alone,
eyebrows scrunched in constant disapproval.
I was too busy focused on what I hated in life
To notice the small boy walking my way

He sat down next to me
On an old warped bench with rusted screws.
For a moment he simply stared
As though he were studying my expression

His gaze made me uneasy for some unknown reason.
I quickly became agitated and so
I clench my hands and screamed
In frustration “What do you want!”

From his small mouth came a question
So odd it took me a moment to
Hear what he had asked me
“What is it like to live”

“To live? You should know already,
for you are alive right now.”
My answer seemed to not be what
the boy was looking for.

He shook his head and said
to me “No, what is it like to live?
What is it like run outside when
youre small and scrape your knee?”

Overwhelmed with confusion I
simply laughed and said
“Boy, you should know. For
you are many years younger than I.”

“Well, what is it like to be a teenager?
To run around with friends and
no parents at your back? Is it
As fun as the older kids make it seem?”

”What about school? Is high school
as scary as people say or is
it exciting? What about college?
Did you go to college?”

“What is it like to love a girl
and to have her love you back?
What is it like to dance with
Her arms wrapped around you?”

“What is it like to grow old
and watch the world change
all around. Whats it like to
watch the people around you grow?”

For some reason I cannot explain
I quickly became angry; agitated
at such ridiculous questions.
How dare he ask such foolish things!

“ Overrated! Why are you in
Such a hurry to grow old?
High school is terrible and you
Will absolutely hate it!”

“I never went to college and
that is none of your **** business!
Love?! Love is a waste of time.
Love is an emotion that doesnt exist!”

“And growing old? Growing old
is wretched! My bones ache
My head is always hurting
And I have had to watch friends die!”

“All I see is the large amount of
Idiocy in this ever changing
World and it is a waste of life!
Do yourself a favor and dont think about it!”

Suddenly his shoulders drooped
the light in his eyes had dimmed
He looked away without a word
and for many moments sat still.

He then turned to me with pitty,
fear, hurt, and sadness in his eyes.
A voice so soft I almost couldnt hear,
Began to whisper from his lips.

“I never had the chance to run
Outside when I was old enough to
remember. I dont remember
how it feels to scrape my knee.”

“Ive never been allowed to go to
school. Too many germs that could
**** me, but my brothers dont like it.
I believe I would love it.”

“My uncle says love is like
magic that can heal all your hurt.
Ive always believed in magic like that.
I will always hope its true.”

“Every bone in my body aches.
When I sat next to you I did not
talk right away because I hurt to
Much to be able to say a word.”

“I have said goodbye to more
friends in six months than most
people do in their entire lives.
I am just another kid waiting in that line.”

“I dont see bad things in the world
Mostly because I make myself
See everything beautiful instead.
The only thing I am able to do is think.”

It was at that moment guilt had
hit me so hard in the chest I
couldnt take a single breath.
I had started to realize things about him.

He had very little hair on his head and his
Cheek bones seemed to be sunken in. His lips
Were chap and he had a little tube inside his nose.
I couldnt understand how I missed that.

“Boy? What is wrong with you?
Are you ill? And why ask me
all your questions? Surly
You could see Im not a very nice man?”

A sad smile began to appear on
His face and he looked at me and said,
“I was sitting by my mom when I saw
you staring at the trees like you were mad.”

“The wrinkles on your face told
me you have lived a life filled with
so many emotions and I just had to know.
I needed to know what it was like to have a wrinkle.”

With that the boy rose and this time I watched
as his small body slowly limped to his mother.
She rushed to his side and placed him
in a wheelchair that he was simply too small for.

Only a few feet away from my bench
that boy turned around and said
“My name is Ben, it was nice to meet
you but you need to remember how to smile.”

A few weeks went by and I couldnt forget that boy
so I went to the hospital by that park and asked
the nurse about that little boy named Ben
and asked if I could see him.

“He told me you would come by..
Though he thought you would come sooner.
Ben passed away three days ago. His cancer
Came back to quickly and too hard.”

I stood there shocked not knowing what to do.
This child that I have been thinking of
constantly, expecting for him to be here,
Was now gone for ever and the world didn't know.

I left on weary legs and sat on that same bench.
“Love is when a child notices you and smiles, even
when you yell at him. Love is when someone changes
Your life for the better. Love is definitely magic little Ben.”
 Mar 2014 Edward Alan
M
Bodies
 Mar 2014 Edward Alan
M
Why do girls lie to themselves and tell themselves,
I'm a six
when they're really an eight?
Why do we inaccurately portray ourselves
and seek to obtain these impossible standards
and gaze at our thighs for hours wondering
why did I ever let this happen to me
or noone will ever love me if I look like this
we'll hunch over our stomach rolls and wish
we could slice them off with a blade and they'd heal back flat, all the fat gone;
we'll wonder how anyone could find us pretty
and we'll doubt if they do
because the only boys who have ever been nice to us
are either playing a cruel joke
or are our fathers.
But here's some news: who you are is not defined by your poundage or the amount of lipids stored under your chin,
when you sit down, how far your thighs push out;
or even that terrible bit of fat under your arms
when you wave bye to your gorgeously thin friends.
Who you are is not merely 'pretty'
or 'skinny'
and I desperately don't want you judging yourself
on what some boy's favorite part of your body is
or what passerby think of your ***-
your body is more than skin deep,
your body is more than fat,
you have muscles and organs and things too,
there are more important things, like how
strong your heart is or how many gasps your lungs have had-
those things make you a valuable, important human being
because fat- well- that's not what makes you who you are.
And that's not what I love you for, because darling,
my favorite part of your body is your mind.
 Mar 2014 Edward Alan
Izzy Lotus
I do not have the beautiful words to describe the deep pain in the pit of my heart...
How it feels when her words betray my soul..
The words to describe how it feels when she puts her hands on me...
I do not know how to describe it, but it is awful.
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