my house would be a lot better if
the kinks were all worked out

if the water wouldnt get so hot
i think i might get burned

if the water wouldnt get so cold
i think i might get frostbite

if i had my own room
instead of sharing with my sister

if my brother wouldnt pester me
about how he needs help
with everything

if my mom wouldnt yell at me
because my dads being mean

if my dad wouldnt annoy everyone
because he thinks hes being funny

if my cat wouldnt jump on my bed
and knock everything off

if my dog wouldnt bark so loud
at the slightest sound

if my hamster wouldnt always
get stuck in the stupid wheel

if i could actually sleep at night
instead of crying for hours

my house would be a lot better if
there werent so many reasons
for it to not feel like a home.

Oh*, sway me gently
In this large rustic cradle
Which way to the Nile?

When the sky is grey
And the air cuts you like glass
*I walk on water..

I'm a man of many faces
I've carved out over time
I carry them around with me
In a leather bag strapped to my side

Usually I'll leave it up to others
How it is they set the mood
The way we interact
To what face it is I choose

I have a face I use for concern
One I have that looks deep in thought
I'm still working on the one that looks like it's in love
But I'm not sure I'll use it a lot

I've got one that's fairly happy
It's taken years to carve it out
Five different ones in stages of sadness
Two that are riddled with doubt

I hold onto one that no longer fits me
I haven't worn in quite some time
It's the face that I was born with
The innocence of a child

One I've carved over and over
Cause I wear it out all the time
It's the one with the look of disbelief
When it gazes on the state of mankind

I have a face with which I greet strangers
One I use with friends
Also a face that says I'm sorry
If I need to make amends

But there is one I don't carry with me
The face I leave at home
For when I lock my door at night
It's the face I call alone...

Yonderly forth does my mind travel
toward space unscathed by human eye,
vacantly naked my reflection unravels
distant are these thoughts of mine.
Untethered cognition free of man’s laws
his morals, his mission and even his flaws.
Thus I must burrow ever so deep
to find a single rigor of truth
I dig where other men sleep.

Awake,
Awake,
Oh wasted hearts
the first rule of living
is knowing: things fall apart.
What now is truth shall surely flee
as does the river's water escape to sea.
Clench not tightly to your current beliefs
they may not follow,
they cannot follow
where we intend to be.

A cloud surrounds me.
Suffocates.
The lies, they feel so real they must be I can't see anything else anymore so
Clearly, so they must be
Everything I've forgotten, every scar that I had gotten, and the words, the stares, new knife-marks in my skin

I know the Truth, but I can't always discern the lies.

It only takes one, to get in, penetrating my skin. And downward, I spin.
Into the darkness, the abyss. I can't
get out
Drowning
The words and I think I'm the end of everyone's stares. It only takes one thing, to hear, and my mind runs wild. An inescapable spiraling of words and thoughts of self-loathing.
It's a tangled web of heart-broken conditions, misintentions, these afflictions, did you know heartbreak is a diagnosable thing? It is. I decided.
My heart was breaking.
My heart is break
ing.

Tangled misintentions, a wave of self-doubting afflictions, all conditions of this mess
we've woven.
A web we've spun from our brokenness, and in the madness my minds screams,

This is all your fault
Never good enough
Too much, or
Too little
You'll never be whole
Broken beyond repair or care
This is all your fault
Time to leave
Always say never
Because you aren't fit for any
Endeavor
It's better if you leave
You aren't good enough to believe
Just go
Never
good enough

The lies are so thick I can barely breathe
Scars aren't really healed if you're still bleeding from the slashes. Cut hearts and, broken wrists.

And none of it's true and part of me knows it, inside but the lies keep on coming and sometimes
self-deprecation, feels good
self-imposed asphyxiation, fills you up more than air in your lungs could
Because pain is an addiction when we won't believe who we are.
When I don't believe.
I'm just creating more scars.

And the lies wrap me up, suffocating in this web of misintention, but a moment of clarity reveals all these afflictions, I sense the darkness creeping in surrounding and
impounding my heart.
Drowning out the Truth, masking the lies, telling me I should believe I'm worthless.
And the lies
make sense
I'm
suffocating inside
I cry out, inside my heart and my mind

Tell me the Truth, I can't discern the lies.

That
infiltrate my soul, I've heard them so many thousands of times
But the scars haven't healed and I'm still bleeding from the slashes
I need a reason to sing, I need someone to bring me out before the swirling darkness settles in and poison takes over my veins. **** out the venom
Or I'll die here alone

And I cry to hear the Truth that overpowers the lies.

I was alone in a claustrophobic cloud of hateful invention.
And two hands reached in, grasped my shoulders, turned me round.
Looked past my eyes and straight into my soul.
Gentle and loving, I hear,
I will fight past the lies to tell you the Truth.
You're Mine