why are we so obsessed with beautiful things?
why can't a girl not have perfect hair and perfect skin and still be loved?
why do we give people ratings and judgements?
why do we expect a man to love a woman and a woman to love a man?
who are we but monsters
creating people in our heads
and turning our backs when not everyone
meets those standards?
why can't we just accept that
each of us is different
and not each of us is beautiful
not by society's ideals.
why can't we have one love
and remember that we all live
under one moon and one sun
and the same stars
and have the same hearts?

If i could write myself away, i'd be gone.
Your words soak into my hands and wrinkle them like an hour in bath water.
I want to tattoo you in every secret place on my broken body an cover my scars with you.
You are more and more beautiful each time i hear your footsteps walking and leaving prints on every surface of my insides.
You are where i belong.
If love was measured in time, you would destroy the second hand, minute hand, hour hand. the fabric of the universe would come undone. the future would be the past, and the present would not exist. there would be no ends and no beginnings. time would stop for you.
I want to be your pillow. so close to your closed eyes and free mind. i want to be your sheets wrapping around your body and curving to every space and framing you like a second skin.
You are the ocean and i am a grain of sand.
Dancing with you is like flying through a black hole all while drowning in rose petals.
Our song is the sound of the night air.
Radiance found a new name, and that name is yours and mine as one.
Your scent and touch and taste and sound and beauty are better than any drug and intoxicate me far beyond even the strongest.
You are life and enchantment and all his friends.
You are love.

e.s.s.

if i could touch you from a distance
there wouldn't be a single seconde
that you wouldn't feel my fingers
tracing the outlines of your lips
and running across your collarbones
and down your shouldres
until ours met and laced
togethre in a soft dance.
if i coulde send you heart messages
through the dust in the aire
my voice would be the only thing
you could ever heare in your head
repeating over and over in a solid
tone "you are wonderful, darling"
untill you coulde think of nothing
if my knees would stay stronge
i woulde run to you
and when they broke
i woulde drag my body to you
and be every sin you coulde ever imagine
and commit every single one at your feet
untill you took mercy on me
and brought me into your arms.
if i could finally get the
right words out of my mouth
my tongue would curl into
my throate for your name is
all i could say over and over and over
untill it consumed my braine
and there was nothing left
but my love for you.

e.s.s.

the mascara streaks hidden
in closed bathroome doors
the paine of a past
and a future no more.
she cries in her pillow
and screams in her head
a million bloodstains
coating her bed.
the sheets are soiled
from meaningless nights.
trying to banish
the holes in her life.
she's fine on the outside
but deepe from within
she's far gone already.
her mask wearing thin.
the scars and bruises
that cover her skin
mark the battles
that she couldn't win.

e.s.s.

a thousand colours
and leaves of grass
i realise i am
alive and well.
i am breathing
polluted aire.
inhaling deeply
every impurity
and welcoming death.

e.s.s.