I saw you tonight
Suit and bow-tie, hair slicked back
You looked like Jay Gatsby
a beautiful, mysterious being
whom everyone craved to be acquainted with
We spoke for only a moment or two
I recalled a few old memories hoping
that you read between the lines and remembered too
We walked away from each other after the small talk
I walked with hope and anticipation
while you probably carried another girl's name on your lips
You were searching for a girl who was not me
and I was looking into a green light
trying to grab hold of something that did not belong to me
I miss you like the stars miss the moon
So much that it hurts me to even say your name out loud
Do not accompany my heart with hers
She has not yet fallen into your spiderweb
And I am here tangled in translucent webbing
Hoping that maybe you haven't lost interest
In someone as undeniably in love with you, as me
no matter how much it hurts

I am in love with the idea of you
I could listen to your voice forever
put you on a record and play you for hours
I want to pour all of your thoughts into a wine glass
and sip it slowly, taking in each one, swallowing smooth dreams
I want to look into your eyes
just long enough to decipher each color
to count each eyelash
I want to hold your hand in mine
and feel each crescent in your palm
I could go on about the idea of you for ages
I could talk about you like a novel I was planning to write
Draw out each word with extravagant detail
I could do it all
I am in love with the idea of you
Yet after the record finishes, each time
It is always harder to play it again
Because each word that slips off of your lips
are the lips that have kissed a girl who is not me

You
The 10 letter name that never leaves my mind
I keep you trapped inside my head like a little kid
traps a caterpillar in the palm of their hands
You were the missing piece to my puzzle
That one that let you know exactly what you were looking at
You made my picture beautiful
Illuminating each edge, filling each blank crescent with color
and I was in love with the colors of your rainbow
I fell in love with you a lot faster than I'd expected
I memorized each curve, each insecurity, I loved
The way your eyes squint when you smile
How you never fail to look at the ground when you're laughing
As if you're trying to hide something
The way you say her name
Your precise tone and articulation
Sometimes I like to talk about you
like you're the one that got away
sort of like you're on a trip somewhere and you're coming back
I'm sorry I have not forgotten how to see you as beautiful
I still have your paintings hanging on my wall
and I have not yet brought myself to taking them down
But when I do, I'll return them to you
just as you gave them to me
maybe she needs a little color of yours too

Don't ask me what it is like to love someone
I have thrown the word love away
Like they do colorful beads at Mardi Gras
Abundant and beautiful
Yet no one throws them back
Don't ask me what it is like to love someone
I have waited by too many telephones
I have kissed too many of the wrong people
Hoping to find one who's lips might taste like his
Like craving something you're allergic to
Yet still giving into the temptation of eating it an suffering anyways
Do not ask me what it is like to love someone
Because I have not experienced real love
Real love is when it is returned
Having the one who's eyes look like the sunrise
The one who's walk makes you want to follow behind them
The one who had a smile that can reignite a fireplace
Having the one who makes your heart melt like ice cream on a summer day love you as much as you love them or even more
That is real love
And I am not familiar with something so precious
Because the one who stimulates my well-being is too busy
Following someone else, someone who is nothing like me
And yet still I wonder if he is taste testing too

It's easy to think that you miss me
It takes no effort to imagine you and I together
Acting as if we never went separate ways
Acting as if the sun never set the night you held my hand
Acting as if our love aligned at a perfect intersection
It's so simple to look back and pretend that it was all real to both of us
To play pretend and you being the boy who actually cared and me being the girl who actually didn't
All just scenes of a premature play that never made it to Broadway
We were just too cliche I guess
A story that everyone's already heard
And maybe this is what you wanted
For us to be put away, collecting dust and remembering only the fragments of our so called "love"
We look like a broken mirror, a cracked sidewalk
So jagged and sharp yet I am addicted
Addicted to the burn, addicted to the pain
Because I figured that if I didn't feel anything
It would be as if it never happened
The agony proves **it was real

One who** kisses but never actually touches lips
One who hugs but bodies never truly embrace
One who says but never does
One who fractured my conscience
One who never even noticed

Last night I discovered of how little you think of yourself
How you battle insecurity and feel like less of a human being
How you look in the mirror and do not see perfection
You count the calories you intake instead of the constellations in your eyes
You see an empty soul instead of the alluring prize
And what you don’t understand is I think
You are so beautiful, I wouldn't recognize you among the stars
You are so beautiful, that flowers must be jealous
You are so beautiful, the oceans are envious of the depth of blue in your eyes
You are so blind to not see your charm and grace
And it tears me apart because I look at you and see a diamond
Unscratched, untouched, perfect
Yet all you see is a pebble