i want to show you my scars. all of them.
and tell you the story.
i have many, i know. and probably 50 more will be added.
the ones blossoming on my shins & knees,
that's what happens when you're active in summer.
the one under my bottom lip,
i was young and my slumber met a sharp ended edge.
the ones on my hands,
let's just say the oven isn't my good friend.
and the other scars...
those are the scary stories.
those are the ones i lock away.
the ones on my stomach, my wrist, my arms.
those scars hold no stories, only nightmares.
those scars were no accidents, only battles.
i lie, most of the time, when questioned.
but you are not judgmental.
these scars, i know you could never fully understand.
but if i share my story,
if i tell you the secret beneath the scare tissue,
can you at least try?

Open and free again
Open to love
Open to life
Open to be again

Can’t live the rest of life like a monster
Open and free again
Open all doors and breathe it all in

Still me, unfree of sin
But wide open to be, just free

Whatever lurks in corners of my mind
Whatever morbid thoughts linger on the other side
Right now I want free, even if later I freely enslave me

Tears stream down my face
Life is for living
But that is not what I do
I am merely existing
Miserable and alone
Lacking love, happiness, hope
Sometimes it all seems so pointless
Why even bother getting up in the mornings?
When I know everyday is just the same
Sadness and misery and hatred
rationally I know the world can be beautiful
But I can not bring myself to believe
That my world can get any better
Than this harsh, desolate wasteland

Sadness speaks,
Like your smile that never sleeps,
While I lie awake,
And I remember your eyes,
That grab and twist,
My falling heart,
And I leave and look,
As you melt when no one’s looking,
Consume an empty mind,
With thoughts like ice,
In the cracks of diamond rock,
Breaking me apart,
Destroying my sullenly dying heart.

Fix a ticking clock that never ticks,
Melt this rocky soul,

Like a smile from the living dead,
A world without dreams.

The sweet lips,
The tingy smile,
The tiny eyes,
the fair skin...
Not a baby.. but my baby..
Hard to understand..
her presence so beautiful,
Her absence so hurtful,
Her air so soothing,
Her words so moving,
Her talk so strange,
Only a few can get it..
Her speach so wonderous,
Her grip so tight,
She makes me go crazy,
She makes me go insane...
She makes me mad,
But bear no pain,
Her kiss, a weapon,
Her hug, no less..
Her warmth,
her feel,
Her skin,
Her heels,
Her fingers,
her toes,
Her touch
her, she,
irresistable,
come to me,
come to me now,
i think...
she's every where,
she's on my mind,
she's in my soul,
she's always around me,
no matter how far,
Still the distance makes me irritated,
frustrated infuriated..
waiting..
longing...
sobbing..
don't know what...
but she..
she's the one...
she's my heart,
she..
Her..
whatever you say..
but yes she...
her...
A SHE.

It’s the little things, it’s the beautiful things,
I can’t have because they’re yours.
It’s your name, it’s this place,
Going through the motions, stopped short by your face.
It’s this **** heart of mine, it doesn’t know that you’re gone,
But you’ve been gone.
There’s a chill in the air, you’re holding on tighter,
I smile, I’m falling in love,
Now you’re screaming goodbye’s, there's tears in my eyes,
I’m numb to the sound.