Why do we want to be read?
Is it just to feed our egotistic
fame obsessed mind?
To engorge and devour
positive criticism
like lustful hormonal
teenage boys
******* and whacking off
to every semi naked female?

Or is it to share?
To hope that somewhere
out there,
that there is someone that feels
the same way you feel.
That there is someone that sees
the same way you see.
and there is someone out there
that knows what your going through.

Because in the time that I've been alive,
I've noticed
For a planet with 7 billion people on it
it's really easy to feel alone.

I've learned
That if someone can hear you
it doesn't really mean he's listening
that if someone can see you
it doesn't really mean he knows you're there
that if someone can touch you
it doesn't really mean he feels you.

I've learned that whether
it be inches or miles
distance is distance.
It's all the same without effort.
And it'd be the same with.

I've learned that even if it's summer
even scorching hot
and the heat is making you sweat buckets.
It's all too easy to feel cold.

so for whatever reason
you're reading this
or writing this
or listening to this.
Keeping reading
keep writing
keep listening
keep looking.
Cause you'll find someone
Someone that can see with you
be with you
feel with you
and exist with you.

It's nights like these that everything reminds me of your brilliant face,
It's nights like these where I can't be bothered to do anything but think of you,
It's nights like these that every song reminds me of each memory we've ever made,
It's nights like these that I trace your name on my notebook instead of getting any studying done,
It's night's like these that I write countless poems about you.
I'm not a fool because I still think of you,
I'm a fool because I wonder if you still remember me.
It's nights like these that I count the stars and compare them to your eyes,
But none of them ever seem to shine quite as bright.
It's nights like these that my coffee can't seem to warm me up the way you once did,
It's nights like these that my mind wants to be set free,
But your memory is all I've got left of you.
It's nights like these I wish I could wonder,
But nothing I find is as astonishing as you are.
It's nights like these that I wish I could light up the sky so that the stars would spell your name,
It's nights like these that I wish I could be wherever you are,
It's nights like these that my mind visits the place I first caught myself gazing your way,
And it's nights like these I wish I had the chance to meet you again for the very first time
Just so I could be amazed by your enchanting ways the way I did that night,
And just so I could fall in love with you all over again.

contagion of hope

her soft blonde hair brushed back
over one pierced ear
the tones of her eye was one of hesitation
i asked her of what such a beauty could fear
after all she would have a thousand strong souls
to nail their backs to a wall at a
word from her feather light lips
but she insisted that the soft touch of her cheek was enough
to be a contagion of hope
to even the most desperate of soulless men

i must have been mad
because i did stop to caress that sweet face with my weary eyes
i sought out her lock and key heart
and found that she desired to be desired but never touched
and there came a burning in the dark forest of my mind
i would wander a time without count before i would see the burning for sadness
meanwhile she apologised profusely but could not contain her dream to flee
and away she rode on a black mare
'her riding clothes brown leathers from Portugal
and they were as soft to the eye as she

she spoke quick to the man at the gate
and he shut out the night
and sealed her eyes with tears
so i kept the watch though i am no professional solider
her companions did sneer at my reckless behaviour
but she in passing let one hand trail over my face
that left welts on my soul
what price is a good price for such heartache
"such is love" she said to me
and i began to see that i could never save her from herself
she will forever ride from one ancient kingdom
of bone dry dust to the next
forever unfulfilled but forever loved
by her army of nights in shining armour
desperate to save her from her own distress  

her ice cold lips are painted this night
a light shade of pink
and what a thousand strong souls wouldn't do to feel
their tender touch
but iv been in that prison
and in the morning i shall ride free
of this blinding hope
i can bear no more flags of the hearts defeat
the last i saw her
she lay swooning at the gate
one breast bared
and her handsome knights milling about
in a panic
forever unfulfilled but forever loved

I help you through hard times, as you do I
But you really don’t know how much I hide
Even though we are the best of friends
I really don’t think you can understand
I can’t bear the hurt, I can’t stand the pain
A feeling of numbness I can’t explain.

This is a life in which I walk alone
Full of hope shattered and broken
Always angry for no reason at all
Constantly wanting to end this brawl
Fighting with myself again, and again,
Sometimes I want this life to end

Mom’s depressed but chooses to hide
Takes out her anger on those by her side
Doesn’t understand I try to help
She shuns me out, and hates instead

Grandma’s enduring an unstoppable fate
sickness has gotten her on the plate
Its sad to see such an innocent person
Become another cancer victim

Too many friends are hurt as well
Thinking that their life is hell
Too many friends wanting to stop
Thinking suicide is the only option

But inside me is the worst of all
I don’t know how long I can stand tall
Memories of happiness are shooed away
But horrible twisted thoughts to stay

Nothing I do can make her proud
There’s no silver lining on her clouds
I’m a rainstorm filled with dark black skies
And a haunting rainfall full of lies
I only wish I could make her see
I’m trying hard so I can be
Someone she that can trust and love
Instead she tells me I’m not good enough
Everything I do is a wrong decision
She constantly tells me I’m not living
The path that she truly wishes I’d take
But I’m only one big mistake
If I could I’d erase myself from here
I wouldn’t have to live this fear

I also wish I could be skinny
And always happy, fun, and pretty
Instead I look at myself in the mirror
Disappointed in the reflection that appears
It’s hard to live when you don’t love who you are
Wishing that you could change it all

Every day I make a mental note
How much would I miss, if I decide to go
And how much hurt makes me lean towards the edge
Is slowly creeping up the hedge
How much longer can I last?
Before my life becomes one of the past

After days of rain,
Garden birds flicker— sparkle,
Lighted by the sun.

A poet falls in love much too easily,
But it is never easy to love a poet.

Songbirds enjoy a diet of variation;
Beetles and worms rarely make good friends.

But seeds spring up where they will.