As I read tears well in my eyes.
All I can think is "Don't give up, not tonight."
Or the next.
Or the next.
And every next day after that.
Don't give up.
I love you.
I want you.
I need you.
I know it's hard, but please Kay.
It'll be alright.

You told me before that if you had to live on this hell hole of a planet, then I did too.
Now I'm going to say the same back to you.
I know it's hard.
I know it hurts.
But please,
just hold on.
I promise you...
It will be alright.

When you've lost everything you love
And everything that matters
Nothing else really matters to you anymore.
Because what else is there to lose?

So I guess it's true.
Everything is true.
You don't ever stop loving the first person you fell in love with.
You just deal with not having them in your life.
You learn new ways to go throughout your day.
You reconstruct your life.
It's almost as if you're building an entirely new life.
You no longer have to take another person into consideration when making plans.
And as freeing as that may be to some, to others it's as painful as being stabbed with a knife.
It's as if a part of you is empty.
The nights are suddenly longer and lonelier when you don't have the sound of his heartbeat lulling you to sleep.
The days are lonely too.
No sweet texts to brighten your day and make you smile.
No more daydreaming in class and drawing his name in hearts all over your notebook.
Losing your first love causes you to have to reconstruct routines.
It causes you to always wonder what more could have been.
But most of all, it reminds you that nothing last forever... And there is nothing we can do about it.

Let's just run away.
Let's just get drunk.
Yeah that sounds about right.
*Lets just run away and get drunk

your lipstick of lies
is wearing off tonight
you can't touch
what you lost
breathe
and think
before
it's too late
to drown out
your sorrows
with drinks
find someone else
if you need love
don't even approach
my table in the club
unless you're dying
for a punch