How to be happy?
Try not being unhappy

I fear not being rejected
as myself I've fully accepted

Why worry about being dead ?
You would then have nothing to dread.

Humour is not dead
only when the last tear you shed

If displeasure you do incur
all you need to say is:
I'm sorry,  SIR!

Sweetheart?
is she really sweet?
does she really
have a heart?

Beware of your being conceited
too soon you would be unseated.

What Instagram?
over 2,000 years ago
there was the Greek epigram
the former I happily forego

We
they
you
I-- let me say

everybody
wants to be somebody
grant me kindly
that I might be a nobody

Men have to woo wo-men
but women also need men
when they are united in the church
the women would say: Ah-Men!

To your home I would go sometime
not to see your wife or you
but to count your household items
would leave **** angry and jealous if mine were few!

Don't try to persuade me
I'm in a lousy mood
I just hate the idea
of trying to be good!

Little brother wants a teddy bear
Little sister wants a doll, I want a car-battery
Mum wants a new 'fridge and a Christmas tree
Why the fuss?  They are all made in Papa's factory!

Those people are simply too kind
  who regard you as odious
  may I add the words in my mind:
  you are vicious, treacherous, garrulous and obnoxious!

'  Buy my pie, it's the best in town
    even if you need to beg, steal or borrow'

     my reply, without a frown:
  
    'I'll not let you down
    Let me eat now and pay tomorrow'

The philosopher who would refuse
to listen to others is a real goose

But
men should have decorum
they should never show women
their ****.

Life is a sore
that doesn't go away
until the moment when your time stops
and there's nothing more for you to say.

Come, come and pinch me
through thick and thin
my body over the years has grown
(in preparation) a crocodile's skin

That I would wish
my epigrams you don't read
less they poison you
and cause you to bleed.

I toyed with lies
they greeted me with happy eyes
I flirted with truth
it slapped me with words stern and rude.

You run a great risk
to trust me as a friend
it would be your worst nightmare
if I should turn out a monster at the end

You asked
how I had learnt
my reply: from my folly
and stubbornness that burnt.

Look me in the eye
that to me you said
but couldn't you see I was blind?
you must have stones in your head!

Two sides to my character-
the good and the bad
it all depends upon
the types of encounters we've had.

One dime to an ordinary person is nothing
it's gold to the pauper who's starving

Do you not know, dear Spratt
The HM's wife is illiterate?

They advised me:
'make a statement'
my reply: I've nothing to state
amen!

Never plead with life:
do me a favour
it would get annoyed
and hit you with a hammer!

The accused told the judge
I swear, next time I'd come clean
His Lordship retorted
tell it to the marine!

Epigrams
they should be short
no longer
than basic telegrams

I am epigrammatic
hope I have been
neither problematic
nor obscene

It's not healthy
to have excess
but I'm not qualified
to speak about ***

To the broad world
    my departure
    would mean nothing--though
    a few would clap in rapture!

So many wanted to overcome me
they did all they could to be ahead
I watched calmly and nonchalantly
almost all of them by now are dead.

There's no law for sure
against epigram--writing
in such Shakespeare didn't indulge
he would be wildly jealous if this he were now reading!

Few indeed are able
to be subtle.

You aren't smart
just because you yearn
to learn

I can read you with clarity
from knowing your attitude towards money.

Yesterday I thought I fully knew
after getting up this morning
something contradicted that view
overnight I discovered something new.

A hundred or a thousand poems
let me not aspire to write
only grant me the occasional inspiration
to do one or two that's right.

Of course, the world is crude, rude and loud
are you for some reason among that crowd?

You asked me  in earnest:
your friends and enemies--how many?
let me answer (and here I am fully honest):
I don't really know--one, none, two, plenty?

Kids--they are too young to know the reality
Santa Claus has a nasty temper and is of dubious character
he's also grumpy, stingy, unfriendly, unseemly, dressed shabbily
he would complain about anything--even the weather.

Grandpa advised me:
it's not about the start
it's the final outcome
that you should keep in your heart.

I never want to pretend
knowing that the outcome
would be nauseous at the end

Pleasing everyone
is martyrdom
hence myself I please
and keep my freedom

Love is plurality
but should not stifle individuality

Geniuses are great
but mistakes they also make
that we shouldn't forget

Stress
the result of excess