he used to hit me with the
"do you love me"

i used to sit there, glaring at him through closed eyes
with an open heart,
heavy
from weights not heavy enough to be
the weight of love.

with every starry sky,
i still search for the big dipper.
stripping the constellations
searching for something bigger
than the compilation of love
or whatever it was
that we feathered through the sand that night.

that was the last time that we were together
you and i
lonesome
under the moonless sky
seen only by the eyes of God.
guided only by the light
and the might of the stars,
no matter where you are:

with every starry sky,
i still search for the big dipper.

every time our eyes collide
the constellations quiver
every time
you look into my eyes
i see you riding the tides of my skies
sliding along the slopes of my little dipper
abiding the strokes of my heart to beat quicker
searching for something bigger
than the compilation of love
or whatever it was
that we feathered through the sand that night.

that was the last time that we were together.
the weather has shifted many times since then,
it has now been awhile.
yet, still now
the compilation of your smile
is the only pile of shine
that can blind the vastness of my mind

every time

you look at me

i drown in the vastness of the seas
that flood the skies of your eyes
with every starry sky,
i still search for the big dipper.
upon it,
when both our eyes linger
i can feel the shiver
of the astronomical quiver

when i'm guided by the stars,

you never feel quite so far.

You kiss the golden hand of time that steals your living grace
As it softly knocks upon your bolted door
Transparent through the eyes that look back into your own
Smiling, as they know what he has come here for

Behold the vision in the vessel worshiped by the grace
As it quickly secures the face of glowing youth
Bountifully replenishing what the hand of time has stolen
Yet taking more than it gives to you

You sell your soul to kneel before the vision in the vessel
To kiss the very hand that stole your grace
Never taking sight of the wisdom, you have gathered
In each line, time has etched upon your face

You can clasp the golden hand of time tightly in your own
Proudly wear the lines of wisdom on your face
Without giving up your soul to the vision in the vessel
If you do not kiss the hand that stole your grace

To hate is to remain loving,
But for you I feel nothing,
But cold.
These hands used to be on fire
Like summer doused in kerosine, alight with lust for life
Snuffed out slowly, drowned in their own sweat
Now everything they touch is forgot. Forget,

But your mirage was never kind
To leave your trails of sand then hide
Short-circuit the engine of my mind
Now, these insects set in like poison
Inject their fever and move on
Of cheap heat, premeditated, less emotion
Calculated, slowly, as to draw the infection on

But two young hearts can never seem to last
Too fickle, fragile, thin as glass
So I'll search for flame in older arms
With their matches, find sparks of your love's warmth
Sick trick, sad ash, to make this season pass
They say the blacker the burn, the less it will last
If only I could fool myself just the same,
Because even cold hands can tell a dull flame.